Monday, 31 August 2015


So I am back here. Once in a while kind of thing. Perhaps a little update about how life has been.

Ever since my last post, nothing much has happened. Waking up every day is quite a small blessing in itself but I believe I have much more in life that I ought to be achieving.

First off, it was the first time in all the 6 semesters, that I did quite exceptionally bad in my exams. I have to say that I have put a lot of effort into my studies (but not too emotional this time) but I scored a measly GPA of 3.8. Well, my mum did say I did okay. Some friends did, too. However, being a perfectionist (or let's just put it this way, nerdy), naturally made me want to strive for the best and anything short of my expectations are considered as failures. Well, 3.8, to me, is a failure. 3.9 is the lowest I can accept. However, I heard of some friends who did far worse, compared to me. I guess I could allow for it this time and I am reminded yet again, I am only human.

Have been an intern at FRIM for the past 9 weeks, too. This is my third day enjoying post-internship freedom but worse is yet to come. In just less than a week, the next academic term commences and final year project starts with that, too. I do hope all goes well!

How about you peeps out there my dear readers? Talk to me. ;)

With love,


Thursday, 11 June 2015

What?! Has it been a month already?

So, it has been more than a month since I last logged in into this account. Guess stuff like studies can really take your time away!

I have been told many things in life that happens are governed by the choices you make. Sure, I can make a choice to take breaks instead of studying too hard but I think in the short run, the results of my hard work would pay off. And besides, no one is going to work hard for yourself, except you (unless of course, one has a golden spoon in his or her mouth at birth, that's a whole different story altogether).

Oh yes, did I mention that I failed to secure the internship opportunity to Japan. That's quite unfortunate. Perhaps, it may not be my turn to go just yet. Things may be good back here and guess I have to keep an open mind on things.

Finals is just around the corner and right after that will be me, heading to a lovely forest reserve and it will be me, trees and internship. Anything you want to ask, people?

Lots of love.


Sunday, 3 May 2015

Weekend combo!


The much needed break.

Life has been a little hectic in university the past month. First, there was the first test of the semester. At the same time, we had to complete a few assignments in a row. And right after tests, we have go on with the remaining assignments. It has been, I must say, a little tiring for me. But again, after all the assignments are complete and having a 4-days-in-a-row break, I am starting to feel refreshed and encouraged.

Test 1 has been good. I scored above average while many of my classmates didn't fare so well. I am thankful all went well for me. At the very least, I still have academia to back me up while I lack in the looks department. (giggles)

Oh, and lately I have this funny experience to share. Have you had the experience that you have to keep working and there are numerous tasks ahead of you. Then you realise that you actually completed most of them and you have totally forgotten about it. Then, you browsed through your document files to find them already completed and you are then reminded that you have done them a long time ago. Feels great, right? I had that experience just a few days ago. I am starting to sound like a full-time workaholic.

This is a slightly more sad experience over the course of a few weeks. Most people have a price tag attached to them nowadays. How you look, what you wear, who you mix with, where you do your grocery shopping and have your meals and the list goes on quite a long way. All these determines your "price tag", your value. Some people already judge you before you even get to say anything. If you keep finding your worth within these pool of people who names your price, you will find your value dwindling to ever-lower values. Stop and know that one is worth much more than people can say. It's just sad that people fail to realise we are all humans. Sad.

Lots of love.


Tuesday, 7 April 2015


I used to think working with her in a group is quite a pain. Tough. Stressful. I thought she had an attitude problem. Well, I kept mum and I avoided working with her at all costs.

I thought I was wrong about her. Boy, was I really wrong about what I thought was wrong. A course mate of mine had her in the group. She wanted things to be done her way. She wanted to do all the tough and difficult titles. True, as university students, we ought to pursue stuff that's tougher so we all end up learning something. One catch, though. What is the point of choosing the tough titles if we don't end up understanding what we are doing? Some of us cannot even understand the title itself! (well, not me, one of my friend complained to me about this). And today, another friend came to me and she told me working with her is indeed tough. She wants it done her way (see the same pattern?), and the titles she chose for the assignment is way too difficult for an average student to understand (she is a perfectionist after all, even I can't beat her with my level of perfectionism).

Well, how do you cope with a perfectionist-egoist coworker? Tell me. ;)


Saturday, 4 April 2015

What's wrong with you people?

So today, I was looking at an article that my friend shared. It says that there are two doctors, more specifically, a surgeon and an anaesthetist, that volunteered themselves to carry out limb amputations in the light of the recent hudud enforcement in Kelantan. I was really taken aback by this. So, in the first place, did they even take the Hippocratic Oath. Even if they did, did they mean what they say?

After sharing the news on my own profile (along with a thought-provoking or rather just provoking statement) some Muslims commented on it and I found their replies very disappointing. To sum it up, it plainly say: If you know nothing about hudud, shut the hell up. Well, I am human enough to know that to amputate the limbs of others off is totally barbaric and heartless. Their reason for their support of hudud is that it is a form of deterrent to would-be criminals. Does this mean your people are so horrible that normal laws cannot govern their behaviour? I discussed the issue from the viewpoint of a rational human and they insisted I understand Islam before saying anything. In general, I would also say many non-Muslims also find hudud a little too extreme. Rather than forcing it down the throats of non-Muslims and calling us "kafir" and "jahil", why not take a little effort to understand our viewpoints. Don't Muslims call Islam the so-called religion of peace? If yes, then prove it. Take some time to ask around. All I can see is: You are a non-Muslim, what the hell do you know? What's more heartbreaking is, on social media, any Muslim that does not support hudud (just look at the comments in articles related to hudud on Facebook) will be branded "government ass-lickers", murtads and all kinds of insults. What Muslim are you when you call your own brethren such sickening names? My main concern regarding hudud is how it claims to not affect the lives of non-Muslims. I have to arguments I can make regarding this. Assuming hudud to be laws practised in Muslim countries, then let me take Turkey as an example. In the era of the Ottoman Turks, the Jannisary (Jannisari) was a special group of soldiers, supposedly elite soldiers with excellent backgrounds and especially in Islam. I came across a book in my university library while looking for information for my assignment. Lo and behold, I came across an ugly truth. In those days, firstborn males from Christian families are taken forcefully and are also converted to Islam forcefully, and they are then made to serve in the Jannisary. Secondly, in the pursuit of jihad, houses of worship are not to be harmed in any way or another. Then, why is Hagia Sophia converted into a mosque? Why wasn't it left as it is? Does this mean it was taken away by force from the Roman Catholics during the fall of the Roman empire? Why bring this up? The Medina Charter guarantees safe coexistence between Muslims and those who are not of the religion. However, one of the most successful Islamic empires have gone against simple rules written in the charter itself. Those were great Muslim heroes that have gone against the essence of the charter, so what more of Malaysian Muslims then, who do not have a history in Islam as old as the Turkish people? Could they guarantee that the rights of the non-Muslims be FOREVER protected? I doubt so. Let's also not forget that Malaysia is a multiracial country and it was never agreed upon that Islamic laws were to be used to govern the nation. Thus, in my opinion, EVERY citizen has the right to disagree upon hudud should they find it too harsh a law to be used, not just Muslims themselves. Muslims in Malaysia should prove that Islam is a religion of peace, not just claim it by mouth. If the Prophet can practise "musyawarah" then why can't you?

If this goes on throughout the nation, I am going to leave to another country. I can't stand seeing the minorities being suppressed. Perhaps, we should all move. I am far too disappointed with what I am seeing now. Oh, have I mentioned about GST, too? Not yet. End of rant for today.


Friday, 3 April 2015

Nasty two-week ordeal!

In every semester (well, for me at least), there is this special two-week period that seems to bring hell onto the surface of the earth and that's the time where the phrase "all hell breaks loose" seems to be the most suitable phrase to describe it, quite literally. Assignments, tests and presentations all come in deadly waves, threatening to break you down with every hit. Being a workaholic, somewhat a perfectionist and a paranoid all put into one, you might be able to anticipate my reactions to all these stresses.

Hell broke lose last week, during the first test. Thank goodness it was rather simple. Then things started to look bad. Economics lecturer misprinted the pages, so instead of having 40 multiple-choice questions to answer, it was scaled-down to 20, from 1 mark in the test to 0.5 mark in the total assessment ratio, it was changed to 1 mark in the test to 1 mark in the total assessment ratio. It only means we risk more marks being sent down to the bellies of the earth with every question answered wrongly... Wow. Then came organic chemistry. Our beloved lecturer gave us questions that she did not teach in class. She says this: Everything you have learned in your previous semesters can be used in this exam. I sat there, thinking to myself, what would I do if I flunked this test. Become a janitor? Waiter at a restaurant? Who knows. And last came thermodynamics. I couldn't complete the test in time (thank God I wasn't alone, 80% of the class had the same dilemma). What a way to end this two-week hell. Assignments are still dangling in front of me and no, it doesn't look enticing at all...

What makes this hell week worse? Demons from hell. No, not literally, I'd shit my pants if I saw one, or maybe half, or perhaps just a ghostly finger. Okay, demons from hell means mad people you say in your daily life. This particular incident annoyed me a lot last week and this isn't the first time such incident is happening. Now, here is the scenario: You have a social media account. You know very well that, unless you adjust your settings to be private or restricted to a specified group of audience only, then your social media account is virtually accessible for all to see. With that, I can now further explain what happened. There was this guy that I followed on Facebook and he had a mutual friend. And through that mutual friend, he asked this mutual friend of me and why did I even follow him in the first place. Then, he proceeded to block me. I went berserk. Firstly, who do you think you are? I am following him because I think he'd be a nice person. Turns out, he is just another asshole who thinks he is so popular that people are dying to get to know him. Please, don't be too full of yourself. It's not like you're some celebrity. Even if you are, I'd just show the magic finger in your face for being such a jerk. Secondly, if you are so afraid of people following you, there are functions in Facebook that prevents people to access your Facebook if one does not has proper connections. Also, do yourself a favour and inactivate the "Follow" button. Blame others for one's own stupidity and inability to use social media is just so silly. Well, I guess stupid people have to exist or else it's difficult to have people that are above-average.

This week is coming to an end and I am seeing the end of the tunnel (no, I am not dying) and yes, whatever I can see now looks good. Get the assignments over with and we chill like there's no tomorrow.


Saturday, 21 March 2015

Bucket List

So, I have been asked by a friend of mine to compile a list of things that I want to achieve before saying farewell to this realm for good.

It's true that life here is like the wind. Here a moment, gone the next. This Chinese New Year has been quite a depressing one for me. A devout church member, we call her Aunty Helena, has been a very faithful church goer and servant of the Lord. She was brought back to be with Him too soon. Aunty Susan's husband also passed away even before Chinese New Year was over. There, I sat thinking about life. What life means to me. And the past week, I also thought about life. I asked all kinds of questions pertaining to life. What ifs and hows? And my friend couldn't come at a more appropriate time to get me thinking about a bucket list I want to create.

Let's just say this bucket list is a list of all the things I want to achieve in life, hopefully I will be able to at least achieve half of them. I did not classify them but it reflects my short-term, long-term and also my desires.

1. Learn to play the zither or a koto.
2. Learn how to do the butterfly stroke.
3. Learn how to cook from my mother.
4. Write a chemistry textbook.
5. Write a motivational book (WTF?)
6. Write a work of poetry and it must be a hit.
7. Discover a material, substance or reaction mechanism that will revolutionize the world of science.
8. Win a Nobel prize.
9. Complete a PhD.
10. Bungee jump off a high-cliff.
11. Skydive off a flying plane.
12. Have my own boutique.
13. Have a fashion collection paraded down the runway at any one of the world's leading fashion capitals, preferably New York Fashion week, Tokyo would be good, too.
14. Own a house.
15. Own a Hummer.
16. Bring Mum and Dad for a holiday.
17. Get married.
18. Have children.
19. Be featured (even if it was a short, simple role, say, a waiter or a janitor) in a movie.
20. Travel to Japan.
21. Travel to North Korea.
22. Travel to Bhutan.
23. Travel to Nepal.
24. Travel to Bhutan.
25. Travel to Austria.
26. Travel to Poland.
27. Travel to Switzerland.
28. Travel to Sweden.
29. Travel to Romania.
30. Travel to Spain.
31. Travel to Russia.
32. Travel to the United States.
33. Travel to the North Pole.
34. Travel to the South Pole.
35. Scale Mount Kinabalu.
36. Oh yes, learn how to fix cars from dad.

I guess these are the things I want to achieve in life before I go. For now.

What is yours?

Hugs and kisses.

Yours truly,


Saturday, 7 March 2015

Hello there!

Well, hello there people!

Chinese New Year, like the wind, came and left in just a breeze. Time flew by and now it's almost the middle of March. Time sure does fly when you reach 20 and it never seems to go any slower at all. Strange. Not sure if it is just perception or it really is so...

Anyway, it's the second week back in varsity. Classes were pretty laid-back on the first week but all hell broke loose in the second week. Lecturers dishing out assignments in (metaphorically) uncountable amounts, like how the Chinese people will one day flood the earth, literally. Putting lots of effort into completing the assignments before the first few exams and assessments come about. And one interesting thing that happened this week was that I got put into a group where the members are a little not into the whole "I am a chemistry student and I ought to think like a chemist" thing. One member does not have really good background on chemistry (for real, knowing the geometry of ammonia is basic chemistry but she failed to name it correctly) and the other one does not show much interest in study at all. Coming in to lectures 15 minutes later, it does show lots about her attitude towards studies. On top of that, she submitted 100% copy-and-paste materials for her group assignment during her previous semester. How do I know this? My close friend was her group member. Let's hope I can keep my nerves together and not bazooka anyone down... Yet.

Ah, the smell on campus in the morning is so refreshing. Trees and grass releasing their aroma and the air just smells of nature.

Lastly, I hope all of you guys out there have a great week ahead.

Loves xo


Sunday, 22 February 2015

Semester 6

That's right! Semester 6 is just around the corner.

Sunday, that is today, I spent the morning cleaning my hostel room and bringing my stuffs back to my humble abode away from home. Not too long later today, I realised that the semester break is about to come to a close and Chinese New Year is not even close to being over. That certainly isn't a pleasant feeling but as always, good things don't always last forever and sometimes, we have to go through certain hardships in order to be able to savour the goodness of having a restful break. This is definitely true. Imagine someone being born with a silver spoon (or probably 24-karat gold) and has never had a taste of pain, suffering or despair in his or her palate of emotions, certainly he or she will never be able to feel the satisfaction that can be gained if one is finally free of these rather negative emotions. But of course, there are certain individuals who are kind and caring and yet, have never ever felt the more nasty side of the human emotions.

Back to the topic shall we? In two days (good for me, I am skipping the first day of class, WHEE!), these shall be a few things that I will be missing for a couple of months:

i. Sleeping on my favourite, comfortable pillow. I love the cotton pillow that is on my bed at home, plainly because it absorbs heat easily and dissipates heat well, so it doesn't feel as hot as using pillows that are made up of synthetic fibres, which makes me feel really uncomfortable. Couple that up with my skin problems, it will make my skin itch like a cat with a mange infection.

ii. Waking up as late as I want to. Yes, this is something we will ALL miss doing, especially when one has already got into the workforce. And perhaps this may even be the last semester break when I can actually wake up whenever I want to. I don't really sleep like a log, but being able to wake up at anytime of the day certainly is a privilege. To think that I have 8 a.m. classes this coming semester, I believe I will miss lazing in the bed in the morning a lot. Like a lot. *stretches hands out wide*

iii. Comfortable toilet! The toilets in the hostel are actually pretty fine and quite typical for any hostel that you may find. What isn't really fine is that the water gets accumulated gradually when there are many people using the shower cubicles at a go, as such, the drains get rid of wastewater rather slowly, thanks to smarty-pants who throw everything from shavers, empty shampoo bottles and even toothbrush down the drains. Sometimes, the poo-poo gets stuck on these objects that are considered rather odd to be found in a drainage pipe. At the same time, I cannot poo-poo and shower at the same time, poo-poo and shower are to be done in two separate cubicles. Sad! No warm shower in the morning too. Over the years, cold water is pretty much something I am used too already.

iv. Fridge, stove and washing machine! Well, as we all know, these inventions made our lives so much easier my helping us ease the petty stuffs. Needless to say, without these inventions, there are many things we can't do. I can't have frozen food, no cooking, handwashing my clothes. It's back to the medieval times, baby! Thank the Lord, there is a hot water dispenser just a about 25 metres away from my room. Else, I be burning down the whole building when I go into a rampage. Ram-page.

v. Transport. I hate to drive but I will definitely prefer to drive rather than take a bus that's full with people and one that is rarely on time. Meow?

Perhaps, this may look like something that borders on complaining? Hardships do make us stronger and through all these, I guess I learn to appreciate the petty and small things I have in life. Of course, there will be certain aspirations and goals to achieve this coming semester. Objectives keep all of us in the right path and direction, regardless of the route taken (a general statement of Hess' Law, applied to reactions that may take place through several and often, theoretical pathways). What might it be?

i. The prime goal of every semester is to remain first class. Hopefully, this semester goes on smoothly and all will fall into place. Thankfully, every semester has been great, thanks to my loving, helpful and also kind lecturers that are willing to help us out. Just another three more semesters to remain in first class! RAWR!

ii. Of course, the journey of discovery isn't over. I am gradually and also continuously learning new things about myself and also constantly trying to improve myself from the broken and weak person that I am. We are never perfect and that's why perfection seems so good to all of us. Not forgetting studies, too. This coming semester will be a little tough, especially taking on Principles of Economics, Organic Chemistry III and also Chemical Thermodynamics. Economics will be a new thing for me but hopefully, it won't be tough. Just like how I took the bull by the horns when I registered to take up basic level Korean two semesters ago, I will be doing the same for this. Organic Chemistry III will be an advanced course on organic chemistry, ranging from mechanisms, synthesis, organometallic compounds and also some topics of pericyclic reactions. Interesting but as always, organic chemistry is a hell lots of electrons jumping everywhere... And thermodynamics, the word itself sounds like a monster. I like monstrosities, bring on the challenge baby!

iii. This is totally out of my hands but I certainly hope that the selection panel will select me as a candidate for the Amgen Scholarships Programme to Japan. I am dying to go to Japan since the start of high school and my interest for Japan has never waned. My previous almost-going-to-Japan experiences were not so good and hopefully, this time, I will be able to travel to Japan, even if this is just a one-time experience. At the same time, the course coordinator for the industrial training course allows this programme to be counted as an industrial placement, should I be able to get through this. Definitely a kill-two-birds-with-one-stone. Crossing my fingers!

If you are going to start your new semester soon, tell me what you aspire to achieve! Or if you are going back to work, has the holiday done you any good, or has it changed your life in any way, big or small?


Monday, 16 February 2015

A little bit of this and a little bit of that?

My examination results for semester 5 were finally accessible to me on the 13th February, at night. And to my surprise (I am not sure whether if it a good surprise, or the polar opposite) that I scored such a grade in my previous semester. I was neither happy nor sad. I already learnt how to accept the life of student in university, in a way that sometimes, even with all the effort you put into your studies, somehow, Lady Luck tends to have some cruel sense of humour and makes you the joke. And hence, I missed scoring straight As in the previous semester. However, that wasn't much of a despair. On the other hand, I am more than thankful that I scored very well for my chemistry courses and indeed I felt that I deserved it. All the hard work throughout the semester, such as going to the library to look for answers when all I could do was ask the lecturers and finishing all my assignments on time, just to name a few. I am a firm believer that hard work always (almost!) produces good yield. Not to brag, but we all want to share our joys and successes sometimes, right? After all, sharing is in some way, caring.

Public oration, of all subjects. Seriously?

Thanks to public oration, I missed out on a perfect grade. The final examination paper was full of ambiguity and very subjective answer. I would have preferred a written exam than an examination with multiple-choice questions.

And Valentine's was a lonely again. When will I find love? Perhaps never? Or soon? I guess I will never find out 'til it happens.


Friday, 13 February 2015


Thank goodness it is Friday but it doesn't make a lot of difference for a student that is on semester break like me.

Something random: People who don't reply others may think they look cool and are better off than others. I don't really think so. It just shows that one is rude, impolite and perhaps his or her parents did not do a proper job at inculcating something called MANNERS.

So, it is actually the big V-Day tomorrow and many singles will be thrown into the oblivion for one day. Looking back at the many rejections I faced before this, it just makes me want to laugh all the more, especially tomorrow. Singles, hang in there! It is only one day in the year!

Chinese New Year is less than a week away and boy, I am quite excited for Chinese New Year. Hope all will be good this year. I am very much afraid of the balik kampung exodus, though.


Wednesday, 11 February 2015


Doraemon, there. The title of this post.

Those born before the year 2000 will definitely come across this blue robot cat from the future at least once. For some, this robot cat has become part and parcel of their life. And for some, this blue robot cat became an obsession, perhaps their friend!

In this case, Doraemon is something I hold dear. I grew up watching Doraemon and I have stacks of Doraemon comics still arranged nicely in my cupboard. This blue robot cat filled my time when digital stuffs like iPads, smart phones and even high-speed internet were virtually non-existent back then. Fujio. F. Fujiko is a legend among the kids of the 90's.

Today, I watched Doraemon: Stand By Me in the cinema. This movie brought back memories of my childhood. Prior to watching this movie, I felt a little upset. This movie is said to be the first 3D feature film of Doraemon. The downside is, this will be the last time this lovable blue robot cat will take the screens. When I read that this was to be Doraemon's last time to roll on the screens, it felt like part of my childhood has been taken away from me. It's business, I can understand. We all want profit and I guess the kids in the current generation no longer find any love for this cat, and perhaps profits are going on the low.

Putting all the hard feelings aside, I watched the movie with a child-like heart and enjoy this final show with Doraemon. There were many scenes that brought me to tears (I know, it sounds stupid that an animation can make one cry, but only a fan can relate). Words are hard to describe!

The scene that brought me to tears was when Doraemon finally realised he has to go back to the future. Sitting there by the river and watching Nobita flying around in happiness, Doraemon couldn't help it, bursting into tears, realising the fact that Nobita may not be able to fend for himself once he is gone. How much will a friend care for each other to the point it hurts, to cry? Such a tear-jerker!

The details of this movie is gorgeous, too. The animators made sure everything was tailored to look as realistic as possible, weaving comic-like designs and realism together, perfectly combining two contrasting perspectives into one fine artwork.

Doraemon, I will remember you and I will always love you. Muah.


Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Well, hello there!

Valentine's is at the end of this week. Do you have any date? Yes, no?

What are your plans? Is it going to be spent alone? Or with that special one? Do tell me!

Semester break is almost at its end and for almost two months now, I have been playing and relaxing everyday and it has never felt so therapeutic! Feels so different from having classes on the usual days. With Chinese New Year around the corner, it does feel quite fun too! As we grow, CNY becomes more and more of family and less of anything else. I do feel old now. Oh my.

Have a good week all my pals and sweeties.

Yours truly,

P.S: A song from a Korean drama series that I am currently following on television. Misaeng, a drama about work life in Korea, it's nice to watch simply because it is quite realistic. Enjoy. This song is called Romance by Rose Motel.

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Blub, blub, blub.

I am a fish. A cute, adorable fish.

Blub, blub, blub.

I float to the top. Blub. I set my sights on the world above the ocean. Blub. Sink, into the ocean I go, again.

Blub. Blub. Blub.

Okay. I have to cut that crap. Felt like a fish after all that swim lesson today. Really calming and relaxing and to a certain extent, I really felt like I was almost sleeping, rocked into slumber by the gentle rolling ripples across the pool. This is my fifth lesson and along with the other practice sessions, I feel so good being able to swim again. I used to be able to swim when I was younger and I forgot how to swim after not using the skills for a decade (sounds so stupid, how can one forget?) but that was what happened.

Watched Naruto just yesterday with two of my close buddies back in Form 6. Quite a good movie but one has to actually read the manga beforehand to get a clue of what is happening. Sasuke appearing to shatter a meteor out of the blues seems pretty strange for someone watching the movie without prior knowledge of what happened to Sasuke. And I got to say, I loved Sai in the movie. Dorky but sexy. And certainly, the funniest of the bunch.

Valentine's is just around the corner and as usual, I have no dates! Any kind soul willing to date me? It doesn't have to be romantic, we can do dorky stuffs together like photobombing the pictures of other couples. ;) Or just a sweet dinner getting to know each other. (Despo giler)


Monday, 2 February 2015

Fires can burn themselves out.

Has anyone come up to your grille and have him or her tell you something that you are (insert an adjective that is used to describe someone negatively)? Or you overheard someone talking about you that you are so-and-so? Or you found out from some online social media site or forum that is bad-mouthing you?

In such cases, what do you do? Being a victim (I have things about me being said on social media that does not totally represent me, but alas, people do talk about others, right?) myself, I have learned a thing or two about how to handle such atrocities. (such powerful word, I cringe while I wrote that)

What should you do? The answer is simple. Let me give you an illustration. Now, close your eyes (okay, you can still take a peek because you have to know what the next steps are).

Picture a forest. A large, lush and green blanket of trees stretching far and wide across the ground. Got that? Good.

Now, imagine you were a horrible human, lighting a matchstick and dropping it onto the undergrowth (I SAID IMAGINE, I DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE REALLY HORRIBLE!).

If the undergrowth is dry (like Australian forests during summer), the fire quickly spreads across the forest, like a plague. Slowly, but surely, it creeps through. Every root, stem, branch and bud gets licked by flames, then engulfed by its voracious appetite.

Then, realising that you lack the resources to stop the onslaught of this disaster, you sit there and watch the whole forest turn to cinders and ashes, feeling sorry for not being able to do a shit about it (see, I told you that you weren't that horrible).

Eventually, the forest turns to nothing but a barren wasteland of ashes. But the flames are gone and the land is left scorched, parched by the ferocious flames.

What I am trying to explain from the rather lenghty illustration is: Let it be. Let the problem escalate. Let people hate all they want. Eventually, (yes, eventually), they will come to their senses that for them to hate you and for you to ignore their hatred, leads to nothingness. Leads to a total waste of energy. That you do not really give a shit of what people thinks of you. In the end, you still win without having to stick a finger into the fire and getting yourself burnt in the process. Smile and the fire will choke itself out. TADAH.

On why I do get haters. Personally, I am quite arrogant and may come off as bossy to those who don't really know me. Trust me, I have heard from various close friends of mine that they thought I was really arrogant, bossy and "in my own world" when they first came to know me. Thankfully, these are the bunch that took all the pain to know me and I do treasure them. Unfortunately for some, they choose to take me as what they perceive and voila, I am Mr. Arrogant-bitch-that-needs-to-get-titties-squeezed-dry-guy. So, to those who know me well, you know I love you guys a lot. I don't hide my opinions from you guys and yes, I am honest and blunt as hell with these guys.

Oh yes, I also don't mix well with several species of people. The list goes as follows:

1. Hypocrites
Oh yes. While most people are taught to be professional and treat everyone equal and as gentle as possible, even to hypocrites, I personally can't do it. With these people, I give them raw pounding of harsh words, sarcasm and cynicism, all mixed together to form a deadly concoction which I do not hesitate to use.

2. Big-(cock)talk-no-do
Ah this one. I used to have a friend (I am not sure I would want to continue considering him as a friend, though) back in my freshie year as an undergrad who keeps telling me of sweet promises, things we would do together. This isn't a homo thing, please. "Bro, I will bring you out when I bring my car into campus next year.", "Bro, we can always go yamcha to so-and-so place" and the list of sweet promises goes on and on and on. Yeah, I feel like your bro. The next year, all he does is bring girls around (girls are starting to approach him because of his car, though) and I was never brought out before. Don't be so foolish to fall for promises, people. It can hurt your ass more than a taekwondo kick in the groin when your beautiful imagination gets shattered into smithereens by the person you actually want to trust. *pauses to take a deep breath*

3. "On my way ah, you wait ah!"
Being a Malaysian, and also a student who took basic level quantum chemistry, we can quantize the outcomes into two: That person is either getting out of the house or is really already on his or her way. Indirect implication: That person is already late for having to cause you to make the call. People who are not punctual get on my nerves quite easily, especially serial "On-the-way"ers. Being punctual is not only a sign of courtesy but also on how much you actually treasure the time you want to spend with the person whom you are about to meet. Imagine being 6 hours late to a date, if you make it out alive, thank the heavens and go buy a lottery, you WILL strike jackpot. But chances are you'd be dead as a statue. Bottom line, punctuality = care = love = respect = sincerity. Being late brings the exact opposite of the given adjectives.

4. Fake "damsel-in-distress"
Ever heard of size-zero people who say they are fat, hoping that people will console them with beautiful words, or guys with herculean physique but claim that they are out of shape, just to have their emotions satiated when people feed positive comments and feedback into their ego. These people just have to get their asses straight and stop playing pity. If you need satisfaction from being rubbed in all the right places by praises and self-glorification, perhaps one should try self-servicing. Makes one feel good minus the trouble of having to be damsel-in-distress. "Oh, hear thee, hear thee, it is I, distress, am I in." LU JIAK SAI LA.

It's probably that I do not hide my contempt for these people is what gets me grilled from people all the time. One thing for sure, I don't fake myself to conform the the needs and wants of the society. After all, if we keep conforming, the will never be a change in status quo. No change in the status quo only equates to stagnancy and hence, never will there be improvements.

So yes, hate me, loathe me. No great leader was born without trials and hurdles.



Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Courtesy doesn't come with wealth.

Well, we often see in dramas that rich people are often the antagonist and how a helpless protagonist keeps getting bullied by the antagonist, just because the antagonist is rich and consequently, powerful.

Yes, these jerks actually exist in real life and some of them, are unfortunately, uglier than what you see in dramas, both aesthetically and also in terms of attitude. It's pretty obvious that money does not come with courtesy in one package and both are purchased separately. Quite sadly, even Malaysians, who are quite well-known for being courteous, have their reputation marred because of a small group of rich assholes who think they can boss people around.

My experience that led to this conclusion, happened to me just yesterday while doing window-shopping in KLCC. Quite normal for wealthy people to frequent this place to flaunt their wealth. So there's this really ugly couple that's walking around KLCC with their equally annoying bodyguard. This dumb couple doesn't know where they want to walk and this dumb guy who is on his phone holding his idiotic lady can't just stop at one corner and continue his conversation without blocking other shoppers. What's more infuriating is this couple's bodyguard with god-level stupidity, pushed me aside when I was walking. Errr, I didn't know that the couple bought part of the shopping complex and I can't walk in their direction. Please, if you can't survive without being knocked into the shopping complex, stay at home and whine. Don't come out and be a jerk. Even if you are a VIP, that doesn't give you any privilege to do such nasty and rude things to others. VIP? Yes, Very Important Pigs you are. Go back to the sty where you belong, thanks.

One other infuriating issue is that how Malaysians can be so stupid while boarding public transportation. At the same time, their attitude while taking these public transport is downright disgusting. I saw two girls hogging priority seats in the train, reserved for the elderly, disabled and also pregnant ladies. It's fine to take a seat if there aren't any of these people of special needs around. Quite sadly, there was a pregnant lady in the train. And yes, there were two old man in the train too. All they did was sitting down on the seats and tapping away on their phones, ignoring these people that really need the sit more than they do. How disgusting can these people be? I can only wonder.

Nevertheless, the day ended slightly better when I received confirmation on my internship placement. Hoping that all comes out well. More importantly, I do hope my application to Kyoto University is approved in just 3 months to come.

Be nice, people.


Saturday, 24 January 2015

Oh no. No. No. No.

So, it's that time of the month again where I have to be an usher in church again. A bi-monthly affair, actually. Not that I am complaining but there are some things that disturb me.

Plainly, something that I find unsettling is the fact that the most pious of people are usually the ones with the most pathetic and sad personality. Back the to previous round when I was ushering, probably just before Christmas last year, I was quite appalled to see one of my church's senior member did something that didn't really quite agree to the spirit of being a Christian. Although we are all fallen creatures, according to the Scriptures, I don't think that what he did was appropriate. This senior member made a member of the Indonesian congregation (which completed their morning service not long before ours were to start) clean up the church compound which was soiled black from soot, probably coming from people burning offering paper for their deities nearby. It wouldn't hurt just taking the broom to clean up but this had to happen. Totally not cool. Occasionally, I question Christians on their faith. We put so much emphasis on the Word, on Christ and yet we fail to live like servants, like Him. At times, I see people from church are no different from Pharisees. So into the Word but at the same time, so far from it. I have to admit I am not a perfect Christian myself but from a human point-of-view, is this what someone who calls himself or herself Christian should do? I find it a bitter fact to swallow, that many Christians are like that. Partly the reason why I try to avoid joining Christian events. If I am in one, I keep my eyes on Him. It's disturbing to see so many hypocrites in the guise of holy-molies.

That being put aside, life has been pretty smooth, simple and also laid-back ever since finals were over. When my "predicted results" were in, my heart almost fell through the ground, popped up on the other side of Earth and came back to the socket where it belongs. A sharp drop of 0.071 from my previous pointer of 3.957 to 3.886. Statistically, it still puts me in first-class, nothing to be worried about, right? I left the thought for a moment. Enjoyed life nevertheless. Suddenly, this thought came knocking. Unwillingly, I took out my calculator and some paper to do the math (WHO IN THE WORLD DOES MATH ON SEMESTER BREAKS?). Stunned, my calculations show that I scored a measly 3.575. That shocked me for a moment. How? I was always in the dean's list and never have I fell below first-class before. I guess, humans are meant to fail once in a while, no? And there I thought, this is it for this semester. A few days later... Things changed slightly for the better. The pointer increased slightly from 3.886 to 3.956. I couldn't be happier! Guess they were trolling with students, perhaps? I can foresee quite a good Chinese New Year ahead. Who are Monkeys of the Chinese zodiac? Raise your hands and let me hear you holler!

Oh yes. I have not done any shopping for CNY. No new clothes (I wish I had) but as I grow up, I slowly realise that CNY isn't (always) about new clothes, new everythings. You tend to become satisfied and happy just being in the presence of those who you love and care for. (Of course, having Hermes or Gucci for CNY isn't bad, just saying. *winks*) So, in case I am too lazy to blog until who-knows-when, I wish you and your family a warm and blessed Chinese New Year and may prosperity, wealth and love be upon your household throughout this (rather challenging) year ahead and to my non-Chinese readers, happy holidays (or you can always just drop by any Chinese homes and harvest red packers, just pretend like as if you know them!). HUAT A!

Lots of love,


Thursday, 15 January 2015

So much for the enthusiasm. :)

Okay, this post was actually intended for the last day of 2014. However, being New Year's eve, we tend to be a little lazier than usual. Thus, I procrastinated updating my blog up until now. Take that! HIAH!

2014. I wouldn't say it was really an eventful year for me. I turned 22 in 2014. Gone to work as a tuition teacher. Enjoyed a trip to Redang with my former classmates back in Form 6. Pretty much sums up the eventful things that happened the past year.

Rather than being an eventful year, it was more of a year for self-discovery. It felt like every day and every week, there was something new to discover about myself. Like, how patient I have become (no, I am still very impatient, but much better compared to when I was younger). How much a workaholic I am. How much a perfectionist I am. There are many things that I have let go and new insights I have gained. To be honest, I can't recall much at the moment but it's deep inside me. I just have to let you guys know when I come up with another post.

The most important thing that I learned towards the end of the year is: When someone truly loves you, he or she will try his or her best for you. He or she may not succeed but it's the best they'll put in. I tried my best, the other half didn't. I felt upset in the beginning. Why could someone treat me like this. Later on, I realised, my other half didn't really feel anything at all. I was the one imprisoning myself in my own hurt and despair. On the eve of New Year, I finally let go completely. It was tough, gradually letting go throughout November up to the last day of the year.

I also removed many "contacts", especially on Facebook and my phone. It is really just the right time to remove all the clutter and mess from my life. People who don't take the effort to catch up with you don't really need to know what updates you have. As such, my life is made easier. I only see people I love and care for. Chat with those actually care for me and vice versa. 2015, may not be a very smooth sailing year. I am not going to ask 2015 to be nice to me (like some other idiots do). I am just going to grow with the challenges and see where the tides and the winds will bring me.

And those of you who know me personally, wish me luck! I am applying to go to Kyoto for a scholarship program to complete an 8-week research course under a researcher at Kyoto University. Optimistic but not putting too much hope. Let's hope all things fall into place.

Love you peeps.