Thursday, 28 April 2011

All I want is just a little something more.

All I want is just to be a little happier. Have a few extra things in life, at least it helps make my life a little more blissful. I just want to have a nice decent MP3 player to use while I'm exercising. Or maybe a DSLR camera. I want to change my phone, too. The phone battery is going a little bonkers. I wouldn't want the battery to burst in my ears one day. :( I also want someone to really understand who I am. Accept who I really am. I believe I already have friends who understand me...

I'm looking for more than a friend, frankly speaking. Is that even wrong? Those who know me well by now would know what I'm trying to say here. Life's short. I just want to love those people I care for. So what if it's only a day? So what if I'm going to hear them say "I love you" for only once in my lifetime? The only thing is that I keep holding on to things that may never ever come true. I'm holding on to a non-existent entity.

Truly, on the journey of self-discovery, I have lost myself. I try to fit in to what I'm expected to be. To be what people think I should be. The burden of setting the bar high so that my siblings will work to achieve that certain standard. I'm exhausted. I lost myself in the sea of so many different identities. Who am I now? I don't know. Zombie?

Life's a b*tch, deal with it.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Saturday, 16 April 2011

I waited.

I cried before I slept on the 14th night. It wasn't because my birthday celebration was a dull one. I had good time with my friends. Mum brought us out for a nice dinner.

Somebody who I really care for said something that made me sad. It hurt me.

That's my birthday celebration this year alright.

Today is already the 16th. Somebody broke my heart, again. I waited. I got no reply.

Was I just another instrument for somebody to use?


=CHIcken WINGs=

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

200th post: It's never easy to say that you love me.

This is my 200th post ever since I started blogging in Form 4. Time really does glide and fly like gulls. Certainly, the age-old saying that time and tide waits for no man is true...

That's pretty depressing actually. I feel like I'm getting old. No offense to those who are much older than me. I feel mentally old, not physically. I start thinking that the world isn't so friendly and loving after all. I thought people would love each other. Perhaps I was too naive back then, when I was just another stupid kid down the road.

Studies and school has been on the ups and downs lately. I have to say that the feeling of betrayal no longer have any effect on me. I've been made numb to the feelings of betrayal. Probably because betrayal does not feel as bad as the feeling of rejection. Nobody wants their love to be rejected. But if it was that easy to fall in love, would there be Romeo and Juliet in the first place. :(

It's the 14th tomorrow. I'm depressed. It's most likely going to be just another day. But deep down in my heart, I still love you very much. My heart is now sore and wounded from rejection. So what? I'm human like anybody else.

'nuff said.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Saturday, 9 April 2011

What the hell my MUET Writing homework. Lazy update. Next update on Sunday I hope.

Cases of violence against women have been on the rise lately. Violence against women is generally defined as an action of abuse towards women. This form of abuse can be in the form of physical abuse and also emotional abuse. What is the cause for the increase of cases of violence against women? Is it because of women themselves? Or is it because of several other factors that have caused this increase? Certainly, a detailed analysis has to be made from various perspectives in order to seek out the root to this menace.

Firstly, the government should be held responsible. Even though there may be laws and acts enacted to protect the rights of women, they have not been properly enforced. Perpetrators of crimes against women such as rapists can easily get away with their wrongdoings. This happens because the authority does not take these cases seriously. Sometimes, a typical rape case involving a woman will take several months, sometimes years, to solve. By the time there are enough evidence against the criminal, the woman that was raped my have committed suicide or may have went into a depression due to the fact that she may no longer be able to stand in the crowd as an innocent and “clean” person. Furthermore, investigations do not encompass a wide range of cases of violence against women. For example, if a husband were to scold and hurl harsh words at his wife everyday, which is a form of emotional abuse, would the authorities be able to prosecute the husband? Certainly not, as there are no laws allowing the authorities to do so. These loopholes in the laws should be covered up by amending the current laws so that they can be more relevant to the society today.

On the other hand, the mass media is also to be blamed, especially the television and movies. The television programmes aired on the idiot box nowadays promote violence against women by showing scenes of women being tortured physically and mentally. This goes the same for the movies. Some shows such as CSI show gory screenshots of women being tortured in many different ways. Of course, these shows have no intention of emphasising acts of violence against women. However, the emotions of the viewers would be stirred if they happen to watch these shows or movies. By doing so, the subconscious mind would influence their thinking and rationale. In this case, the age-old adage “what you eat is what you are” holds true, although with a different twist to it. So, what you watch on television may also turn out to be what you are. Some serial rapists, molesters and even wife-abusers learn all the “tricks and tips” on how to take advantage of women from these shows and movies. In the end, that is what have become of them. It is therefore very important that shows and movies that are to be made available to the public should be properly screened by the authorities. Scenes involving violence against women should be censored completely and without any compromise.

Sometimes, acts of violence happen to women because they lack the courage and knowledge to stand for their rights. Many cases of abuse against women have been swept under carpet. Rather than to make a stand for their rights, women tend to keep a hush-hush on these matters and they hope that time will one day solve all their problems. Such method of handling violence against women will not help in stopping people from abusing women. For example, some parents of female rape victims would just dismiss rape incidents because they would not want their daughter to become the talk of the society. As Asians, many parents tend to have this mentality, too. This halts any further actions to be taken onto the criminals by the authority. Then, these criminals are free to continue to commit crimes of all sorts against women. There, women should take one leap of faith and take fate in their own hands. Report any cases of abuse against women to the authorities and never compromise your rights.

Weighing the logic of the reasons given, it is therefore not the problem of women that violence against women occurs. Yes, women may have weak points, as they are created naturally to be gentle creatures. The society should learn how to treat women with dignity and respect, rather than to treat them like second-class genders. At this point, much more can be done by the government and also private institutions to help stop this problem of violence against women once and for all. Only then, Vision 2020’s goal to create a healthy and loving society can be fully realized.

Friday, 1 April 2011


Geram nak mampus. FML.