Jelly beans. JELLY BEANS!

Now that I have gotten your attention (yes, jelly bean lovers), I can now go on to sharing my post. No, it doesn't really have anything to do with jelly beans, how to make them or how they look like. That is what happens when you no longer have a relevant title to use and you end up putting something really random just to gain some attention.

How's life, you ask?
Life has been pretty good, except for the occasional downs, especially when it comes to the uncertainty involving relationships. Let's just say, I am in a complicated relationship now. It's like not being able to commit to a relationship with each other, but at the same time having a feeling of adoration for each other. It just feels like drowning but you are not really drowning. Or let's take another example: You feel the poo poo coming out but it decides to stay at your rectum or closer to the exit.

Anything interesting lately?
Well, yes! Mum got me a G-SHOCK watch, which I totally love. Been wanting one for quite a while now and you could say I am a happy boy. And of course, with lots of cheap books and Big Bad Wolf is just around the corner, I can't wait to shop 'til my pants drop at the book fair. Furthermore, with the yuletide season just a month away, there's lots of stuff to look at. If you're planning to get me gifts, I dare say you could give me anything with Doraemon, Ultraman, Pokemon or Bleach-themed anime and cartoon gifts. A bag would be great, or some really strange but sophisticated looking garment. Dropping by Pavilion and Fahrenheit 88 the other day really made my wallet drool but thank goodness I was able to hold back... Just for that period of time, though.

What's going to happen in the nearest time to come?
Exams! EXAMS! *pulls hair* No wait I don't have much hair. Yes, finals is just around a jiffy away. Scary. With all the assignments piled up skyscraper-high, combined with finals so near it smells like you could just smell someone's fart, it's going to be really hectic. Like. HECTIC. HAG-TICK. Ooo, ticks.

And you, yes you, a pretty and hot. (whoever that's reading this)

CHIcken WINGs

Negative idiotropism.

Tropism, in biology, is a term used to describe the response of plant growth to the stimuli around them. An example is the demonstration that plant shoots grow towards the direction of light, is a proof of positive phototropism. At the same time, the roots tend to grow in the direction of water and gravity, which are both hydrotropism and geotropism.

Which brings me to the title of my blog post. Idiotropism. How I respond to idiots. Obviously, negative idiotropism means I respond negatively towards idiots in the society.

I always believe, as humans, we are all born with the gift of knowledge and ability to think. There may be some unfortunate individuals that are not able to voice their thoughts in a tangible manner (which may be brought about by illness, birth defects and etc), but the rest of us are given the right to think. In a way, we are all born philosophers and thinkers or the highest orders. Quite interestingly, many of us revoke this right for the simpler notion or idea that buying the ideology and philosophy of others can make one's life, much less of a hassle. Yes, we end up being slaves to the idea of others. Sometimes, we are so engrossed and drunk in it, we forget that we, are also truly capable, if not, are better at coming up with even brighter and bolder thoughts. Alas, we lose it all.

So, why did I type all that long-winded stuff that my grandma would consider it her grandma's story? As of lately, I have been reading many news on Facebook (my closest source on information to life outside the campus) and it is quite disturbing to see many university students actually buying the thoughts of politicians and extremists. They seem to love it so much they are lost in it. Gone and never to come back to their senses. Are we so vulnerable and weak? Are we not taught to differentiate between the good and the bad? Lately, good and bad is no longer what you decide but rather, decided for you and you just got to swallow it like a bitter pill, down you aching throat. Confiscation of your freewill to think makes nothing out of you but an idiot. Idiots, I hate.

Truth is, I can no longer stand all these complications, I prefer to remain silent and let natural selection play its role. After all, the strong MAY survive. (It disturbs me that brainless jellyfish have been roaming the Earth since the age of the dinosaurs). I guess that would describe my change in attitude quite recently.

Of course, I am a little heartbroken while writing this today. I have this feeling that he doesn't care anymore. Yes, I am hurt. As much as I deny that feeling, it is real and it is there.

Drama queen shit. Back to work.

xoxo to my readers.

Love,

Wing

New semester, new aspirations?

This coming Monday will be the start of a new semester. More specifically, it will my third year in university pursuing my studies in chemistry.

Throughout the two years in university, I have learned many things, both good, bad and things that are supposed to shape your thoughts on reality. The start of a new semester may just be another facet of life that I will go through and hopefully, learn things the less painful and bitter way.

Last semester, I realised that as much as we want to be the best in what we do, there is a limit to how much we can achieve, given the imperfections of human body, be it in mind, soul or spirit. There's only as much as we can do. (Well, if you watched LUCY, starring Scarlett Johansson, that, I believe, is a mere hoax).

My aspirations are simple. Work hard, be nice to others and just live life in a fruitful way. And in every way, never back down on my own principles just to please others. Lastly, to endure every obstacle, knowing that at the end of the tunnel, I have my reward waiting for me.

How about you?

Tap, tap, tap.

Life hasn't been pretty nice lately. Not really rough, too. Just a little below ordinary, if you consider ordinary a quantifiable value with a constant value of "y", then my line plot is just slightly below it.

Exam results were released not too long ago, about two weeks now? I was shocked but at the same time grateful. I did well for a paper that I did not have sufficient time to complete, namely for spectrochemistry. On the other hand, I did not score stellar results for my favourite subject, which is a total bummer. I loved inorganic chemistry but it turns out that it hates me. This is also the first time that a B+ is appearing on my results transcript. Horrifying. Of course, through all these "scary" incidents, I remained quite calm. I realised that, no matter how hard I work, I am just another human being. I have limits to how much I can understand and learn in a given time. Probably I couldn't not master everything in time. Finally, I accepted it with an open heart.

B+, AHMAGERD!

And just a few days ago, I found out I was rejected (the "relationship" kind of rejected) and I found out in quite an unpleasant manner. It has been bothering me for the past few days already but I think I am finally getting back on track. Sad as I am, but life has to go on and it's not the first time I am rejected.

I found out that Japan has so many beautiful and fun places, we all know it is the home of anime. But again, I am sad. :( *sigh* Radiation poisoning perhaps?

CHIcken WINGs

Meow?

I don't think many people are pretty nice. They are more attracted to what appears on the outside rather than wanting to know the inside. Wait, what am I talking about? (All the drama lately hasn't been pretty good on my mind)

 I haven't been posting a lot of pictures and I guess it's quite a taboo to call yourself a blogger but you do not ever post any pictures. Terrible. It's just like reading another novel. Or some fan-fiction. And this is where I show you my evil stare.

Copper(II) glycinate, a metalloprotein!

Okay, who doesn't love Ultraman. This Ultraman Cosmos is less than palm-sized but it costs RM10. I love Gashapon!

So, during the whole semester, we prepared various hues of eyeshadows to be used. Guaranteed to make you feel pretty but not necessarily safe.

Little fellow crossing the drain last week. Darn adorable. Even tapped its head. Really darn cute.

This was just before one of my final papers. Stayed in the library for 4 hours. It felt like a victory for me. I know some who are much better than me. Sleeping there will be good if I get to sleep there...

Actually, there is. Like, how about, free shopping spree for all! Or perhaps, one year of no-work year!

Celebrating little bro's birthday in advance. Buffet at The Federal, Kuala Lumpur. Rumoured to be a haunted hotel. Nevertheless, food was good. No wonder it's haunted. No one wants to leave the food. *om nom noms*

Watching this next week! And I have free tickets to watch this movie. Looks scary and I hope it is. On the other hand, I'd probably be so freaked out if it was scary. Leave the lights on at night!

Ah, lastly. Look at the size of the jackfruit slice. Mother of God, it's as big as my palm. It wasn't tasty but any jackfruit would do for me. Nyam!

I should post more photos, aye? Gotta get to work soon and hopefully, great things will happen.

Love you guys lots.


CHIcken WINGs

This feels GREAT!

I know I am very guilty of not updating my blog frequently. This probably contradicts my earlier resolution that I have made for my readers and also for myself (wait a minute! Does anyone even read my blog?!). That aside, I'm here for another update. Well, probably it's just because I am downright bored. Was revising for my last paper and it got really boring. All I read was "annyeonghasaeyo".

The semester will officially end this Saturday, for me. And that will also mark the end of my 2nd year in university. Oh dear, how time flies (and how fast I age). I do feel like a prune and a raisin sometimes. Those really dry ones. The wrinkles and grooves on the surface are just like the crow's feet at the edge of my eye slits. In just two years, I felt like part of my life has just gone with the wind. Silly things have I done within the 2 years. Some things I won't be very proud of, some things that have taught me well and some things that made me proud.

Hmmm, let's start with the part that didn't really make me feel proud and it taught me something: I had a rough time in my relationship with Mum. Mum wasn't well the past two years and it affected her emotionally. So, she got emotional pretty easily. Me? Most people, or it's safe to say, everyone that knows me, claims that I am an aggressive person. So, with that, we are at loggerheads most of the time and argued quite frequently. But things got better, I learned to be more patient and Mum's condition got better. Doctors were able to treat the cause of the illness. What I am proud of throughout these two years in university? Hmmm. I would say and lay claim that I am, at heart, a pure nerd that is eccentric to a certain extent, say, doing strange things that make people go WTF?!. So, it's natural that I strive for the best and voila, for 3 out of the 4 semesters in the two-year duration, I managed to stay in the upper quartile of the bunch. First-class throughout the semester. The results for the 4th semester will be released a month or two from now, the exam season is still on.

Looking forward to a fruitful semester break. Anyone keen to meet up? :)

xo-s to all you readers.

CHIcken WINGs

Clean up!

Lately, I have got to know many people. Different people. Different personalities. The sudden surge in the number of people I know led me to think, who are real people and who are those that aren't really all out to be friends with you?

So today, I did another round of social clean-up. Especially on Facebook and my phone. Removing those who are on my list of people I know but never bothered to contact me at all. Some, who are really sensitive and somewhat shallow-minded, I chose to unsubscribe to their updates altogether. Although everything is pretty much virtual online, certain things can manifest themselves in reality. So I chose to remove these thorns in the bushes to make my life easier and better. Who needs people who are so sensitive that he has to personally notify me. Well, I may be a little silly, but to comment to such extent is a little over the top for me. Can't take a joke? Why not talk to a doll, they don't say stupid things.

People nowadays are so difficult to handle. Not only the ladies have PMS, guys do have them now, too. And the guys have heavier PMS than girls do, nowadays.

Cold treatment it is for these people. Okay, time for a nap! :)

CHIcken WINGs

Pissed. So bloody pissed.

So, it was yesterday (refer to the date of this post, minus one day) that we had our inorganic chemistry presentation. Well, in the beginning it felt quite cool and I was actually pretty enthusiastic over it. Thinking of what to say, what am I going to say on stage, how to engage with the audience and all that shit.

Okay. So the groups that will present are chosen at random. That wasn't so bad. What makes me boiling mad is that the groups couldn't even stick to presenting within ten minutes. It's just 10 bloody minutes. Some even ended up giving a lecture. At the end, the 3-hour presentation session had to be postponed to today. Even in two hours, we barely did 4 groups. What the hell, right? It's 30 minutes on average a group. 3 times more than the initial time limit. Two days in a row and I still haven't got to my turn. All these task backlogs really piss me off.

I really don't get it. It's okay if your presentation is more than 10 minutes long, as long as the presentation is interesting. Some presentations were repetitive, boring, the speakers were stuttering, some even forgotten what they want to say while some are just plainly reading from the slides. What, you think I can't read? What is worse of all, it's as if no one really cared about the time limit imposed. The reason it was imposed is so that everyone has a fair amount of time to complete their presentation. So my turn is thrown way back and I have listen to all that bullshit. I respect their work but come on, who is respecting me for handling all your bullshit. I tell my groupmates to keep it less than 2 minutes per person and a maximum of 3 minutes a person.

I really hate presentations now. Just give us an individual assignment for the love of mankind.

Shit happens when you are good. Not one shit will be given about your welfare.

CHIcken WINGs

Really?

You said you want me.
You don't even care to drop me just one text.
So there are other things way more important than me?
I'm not being clingy.
I'm being realistic.

CHIcken WINGs

Stupids at Bukit Ekspo.

Quite recently, I have started jogging again. Used to jog very frequently back in Form 4 and Form 5. Used to be slim fit. (or rather, so slim you could see some abs). Got into Form 6 and exercise took the back seat.

Now, I started feeling the oomph and the kick after having a good run. It's marvelous! The sweat and the pulse beating in your head. Ecstatic. Probably as good as an orgasm. So, Bukit Ekspo, my university's park, became one of my favourite haunts.

But what became really annoying was people who frequent Bukit Ekspo don't really know how to keep the place clean and they don't follow the rules. People just leave their trash everywhere and litter their non-biodegradable trash on the grass. It looks terrible. Awful. Disgusting. Assholes be like bringing food in plastic and polystyrene packaging, dating, having barbecues and what-not. And no conscience to even clean up. UPM assholes.

What's worse, no one ever follows the "No vehicles in the park" rule. Students (or rather, assholes) be driving on the paths meant for visitors to the park to jog, walk and cycle. These fools, ride their motorbikes and drive their cars on these paths. Not only does this damage the paths, it puts visitors at risk. I really wonder, why are UPM students so stupid and selfish. Come on, you're already on campus, is it so difficult to park your car outside and take a slow stroll to the park? Or you just want to show off that you have a ride? Show off somewhere else. Nobody wants to know if you have some lousy second-hand car to brag of. Parks are made for health purposes, not car showroom. Fools.

On the brighter side, I lost some inches on my waistline. Feeling as sexy as sexy. :)

CHIcken WINGs

Update, update!

It's been a few weeks since I last updated anything. Literally.

As of now, when I look up into the sky, I can't see any clouds. All I see is a large shadow, very large. Enough to blot out the glorious rays of the sun. I squint my eyes, trying hard to catch a glimpse of what this big and dark object is. Its presence is overwhelming, brimming with evil. A force that drowns you with hate and anger. Then, when I finally made out what this object was... Oh my, it's too late. Assignments! Oh, save me, my dear knight in shining armor! Save I, who is in distress. If only I was the one playing the damsel. I'd love to, by all means.

It has been two weeks since the mid-semester break ended and like many, we thought that our workload would decrease, since we spent our mid-semester break meddling with our assignments. Lo and behold, the truth be shown to us, this isn't such the case. In fact, our workload increased with time. Sad to say, it wasn't linear, in fact, the increase was exponential. All it takes is for the lecturer to get an epiphany, a "Oh dear, I should give you guys an assignment!" moment and that's it, part of our life is sucked out of us that instant. Not that it isn't good but having too many at once really is difficult and quite taxing on our health. Thankfully, I haven't fell sick until now. Only my bowel has been acting up lately. Farting like a cow lately. Of course, mild diarrhea ensues this terrifying journey of farting and assignments.

Above all, thankful that I am still alive and fighting hard with this foe of enormous power. How are you guys doing? Hope all is fine. Lots of love from me, the fighting damsel.

Chicken Wings.

Can you smell it? SMELL IT!

 Hmmm. Smell it? Oh yes, the smell of something good. Something pleasant. Something to soothe your senses and bring you to somewhere near paradise (no, I don't mean dying). And POOF.

Okay, so mid-term break has just started for me. And for most people, we are looking forward to chill and just a some time for oneself, after working so hard for half the semester. That was what we thought. Such innocent and blissful thinking. That was not what our beloved lecturers thought. They wanted us to feel the pain of not having a happy term break. So, they gave us plenty of assignments to complete during the break. Hmmm. Okay, maybe it's for our own good, but I am feeling very, very lazy to even move a finger (imagine the agony and pain I have to go through to post this). Hopefully, this term break will be quite an eventful one, even thought I do not plan to do anything but just laze around at home the whole day. Meow.

The bounty I got from the hunt at Big Bad Wolf books sales. Nice!

The very tiring process of preparing chemical salts. Aigoo. D:

Spectrochemistry is only interesting because of colours. Nothing else.

Yes, this is the real spectrochemistry. See, no colours!

HARAM!

No, this has nothing to do with anything that is religious at all. Well, if you have been reading the previous few posts that I have made, I made it a point to post at least one blog post per week. Obviously, this wasn't what was happening. So, that's totally HARAM in this case. Lies. Hahahahahaha!

Well, it was test week last fortnight up until last week. Totally busy and stressed. So many new things to learn and yet so little time to master it all. However, I'm happy that it is all over. Test results for my Physics II is quite good, better than I actually expected. Of course, labs weren't as forgiving, as ever. The stress of writing lab reports. Oh well, at the end of the day, we learn how to write fast, probably be better than photocopy machines, or maybe 1000 photocopy machines put together. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Semester break is just around the corner! Glad that the break is finally here. Sadly, just after the break, test 2 will be heading our way soon. Oh dear.

Woots! Test is next week!

In just the blink of an eye, half this semester is almost gone. Really, time does past fast when you are so busy to even have time to think of yourself. Thankfully, this semester has been quite OK so far, except for some tiny hiccups that aren't really that nice, but at least it does encourage me to handle problems and to test my flexibility in handling situations. I prefer not to, though.

Well, it's Physics Test 1 on Monday and I should be having my "NERD MODE" turned on as of now, but that's obviously not the case right now. Kinda' wasting my time away for the moment. You know, studying straight for 2 to 3 hours isn't really cool, it's not my skill. Oh well! Hopefully, it would be fine.

There's isn't much to post right now. I'm quite happy with the situation now. Only a little worried for the MH370 flight. I hope they are all right.

Fear, sadness and everything in between.

'twas a fateful day for many Malaysians and other passengers on the flight MH370 heading from KLIA to Beijing, China. As most Malaysians and citizens of other ASEAN countries have already known, the MAS (Malaysian Airlines System) aircraft, the Boeing 777 (I'm not good with aircraft models, I only know the largest passenger aircraft to date is the Airbus A380-A, is it?) was expected to arrive at Beijing at 6.30-ish a.m on the 8th of March, China local time. What happened was, after two hours, the plane has not arrived and as I am writing this post now, no news about there plane or its whereabouts are known. This is not what I am about to pen down in this post. This totally isn't.

What is more terrifying than the flight going missing is how people in the world and particularly, Malaysians, are reacting. The moment the plane went off the radar, many people started to spread news over social media. Facebook, Twitter and whatever-you-name-its. I'm not sure if it's a Malaysian thing, but Malaysians love to sensationalize news without first verifying the source. Sure, it's easier to hit the "Share" button or to just retweet whatever you have seen. The thing here is, has anyone even thought about those who are currently in the limbo, not sure whether their loved ones are safe? Not sure if they are still alive? Not sure if they have enough to fend for their lives if they are alive? All these uncertainties. They can haunt you for days, for months and sometimes, scar you for life. These memories and trauma, stick. They don't go off like how you wash mud off your shoes after a football game. It's not that simple. To share false news is akin to saying "Hey, your relative is alive! GOTCHA!". Would you love to get the same kind of treatment if you were in their shoes? No? Yes? How cruel can one be!

Another observation is how Malaysians start to put the blame on everyone except themselves regarding the incident. No, I wield no power to say who is right and wrong, but to play the blame game when times are rough like this, isn't going to make the situation any better. Can't we all be a little more understanding. I saw people saying things like "Aiyah, that person (the officer-in-charge at the press conference) don't know how to reply. Stupid" and blaming MAS for being so lousy and such. Before you start playing "Mr. and Mrs. Perfect", why not take a look at a different perspective? Sure, put the blame on the officers for not being transparent enough to divulge information, blame the airline company for being lousy, blame the army for not being efficient enough in the search of the plane. Blame. Blame it all. Now put yourself in their shoes. Some of these officers may not be sleeping well for days on end. Some of the caregivers are away from their families for days apart. Needless to say, the army has been away for quite some time on the search for the plane. Cut them some slack! Stop being so judgemental! If you're so free dishing out comments as of now, why don't you play a role in helping to find the plane! Pity these people running around for days on end, and yet you have no sympathy to understand. Can't Malaysians be more encouraging. A little positive vibe won't kill anyone. Why hurt when you can heal? Why?

I'm just so disappointed. I love my country.

Week 2 is down, I repeat, Week 2 is down!

No, I'm really in distress or totally worried that week 2 of my 4th semester is down. Quite happy that the 2nd week is now gone. It can only mean that the semester is about to get a whole lot tougher, the following weeks to come. Alas, this is what all university students have to face, semester-in, semester-out. It should be fun (I do wish it was fun without the stress), so that's why getting in the right course should be anyone's priority. OK. Down to business. The happenings of the week!

There were quite some observations that I made throughout the week. Some of course, almost made me fall off my seat (in my mind, not literally) while some others made me smirk, along with that evil grin.

Okay, so the first thing is that I realised students with an ultra-Chinese background tend to be more unfriendly and sometimes, tad selfish, when it comes to socialising with others. It's not really bad, but in some ways, not too good, too. This was an experience I had a few days back. So, I saw this 3 girls from a course that I took with them. It's a compulsory course, regardless of your major. These three Chinese girls were Mandarin language major students, while I was a chemistry major. I saw them at a faculty away from class and I wanted to smile at them. All I got was a face that replied imaginary words: "Erk, why is this guy smiling at us?". Is it really that hard to just life those muscles to smile? Anyone looks way gorgeous when they smile (provided that you are not attempting to be a perverted weirdo) and will definitely shave off some years of year real age. Honestly, only Chinese people with ultra-Chinese background will be this unfriendly. Ethnocentrism? Hmmm...

This week's inorganic chemistry taught me something: PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE. Why, you ask? Imagine this, one has to stir the same solution for 3 hours. The catch, the solution MUST NEVER BE ALLOWED TO BOIL. With this kind of constraint, it really makes it much more annoying. I spent 3 hours stirring a solution of cobalt ions in oxidizing agent and ammonia, to prepare a complex compound consisting of ammonia coordinated to a central ion of cobalt. The first attempt to obtain crystals by cooling the solution didn't work out as it wasn't concentrated enough. So, I had to reheat, to ensure 70% of the initial volume remains. To think that it takes 3 hours to achieve this volume, my life suddenly feels miserable. Final-year project. Oh dear. However, the second attempt to isolate the crystals was a total success and they were, WAIT FOR IT... BEAUTIFUL! YEAH! Looks like dragonfruit sorbet. Except that it's all glittery.

TADAH! SO PRETTY! More scientifically, this is coordination compound (salt) is called: pentaamminecarbanatocobalt(III) chloride.

Pretty right? Things started to take a turn for the worse on Thursday. Thursday is terrible. I hate Thursdays (strictly for this semester only). The six-hours-in-a-row lab is a killer. 2 p.m to 8 p.m with no breaks in between. I fell sick because of the weather and due to exhaustion. Up until now, I'm still not completely well, but I'm thankful this isn't as bad as the time I contracted a viral fever. That, was way worse that what I have now.

I guess this week is quite a dramatic one. Nope, not as dramatic as those that have some loud opera music in the background. Just, drama. Next week, a better week, I hope.

That's all for now! Hope you readers have a blast too!

Not good enough.

Okay, so today's post will feature a more vulnerable part of me, as opposed to the usual ultra-diva-bow-before-the-queen attitude of mine. This part of me rarely manifests itself, even if the whole world turns against me.

Who would know that I can be so vulnerable to something seemingly insignificant. So simple. Alas, it's because of this reason that I am on an emotional roller-coaster. Nah, not having a great big PMS. I could just take hormone injections if I had PMS. If I HAD. Well, I guess even the toughest of guys and girls get all emotional when it comes to (yes, wait for it, give me a drum roll...!) someone they actually have a crush on. Oh yes, I do have a crush. No, wait, more than one. But most of my crushes, whether current or in the past (future?) are impossible to fall in love with, probably because they're taken. Aishwarya Rai is hot. So is Angie Jolie. Erm, Kellan Lutz is gorgeous. So is Ian Somerhalder. Imaginary crushes aside, I do have a certain crush on probably 5-6 persons now. Sounds terrible. Sounds like I'm some cheapo looking for stuffs to buy at a warehouse that sells imitation goods. Urgh. Well, deep down, I just want to fall in love. Find someone who can accept me as who I am. Simple as that. Every time I chat these certain people up, any hints showing their acceptance of me, I would immediately misinterpret that as showing mutual liking for each other. I guess that's not the case. When they grow cold, get bored of me or finally found someone they are totally into, I feel that I'm not good enough. Not perfect enough. Not handsome enough. Not buff enough. Just all the not-enoughs. When people hate me, I don't feel so. But when they do this to me, I feel the pinch. Is it just me? It does feel stupid of me to have emotions like this. I'm already in my 20s and this still happens. Looks like I will never escape adolescence, ever.

I guess you people who I consider my crushes will never read this, but if you do, I do like you, I want to know you more and probably, if we hit all the right buttons, let's start a relationship. Just you and me.

Feeling a little empty inside.

Week One down!

Okay, so week one of my fourth semester is done. This semester seems to be a little different from the other semesters. It does feel a little stressful, especially when the lecturers expect you to keep up to their standards. The first day entering each different class, the lecturers let me know all the requirements for the classes. I do feel extremely stressed. It's barely even week two. To think that I have to write reports for another 13 weeks just terrifies me. I guess this is just another challenge I have to beat!

With all the negativity aside, this semester feels a little refreshing. Taking a foreign language course currently, Korean to be exact. No, I'm no K-pop fan. I just feel that, "Hey, this may come in handy one day!". On top of that, it's the only elective course that can fit nicely into my very-packed timetable. Oh, there's homework on the first week already! Bloody hardworking lecturer. Same goes for the chemical spectroscopy lecturer. She has had all our work planned out nicely, even though she will be away for a course outside of university.

Some lecturers are so on the rush, they've completed teaching one chapter this week. Yes. Crazy. I'm having a cold sweat thinking if I can keep up with this. Tough. Really tough. Apart from this, money is another thing to be really concerned of. During the previous semester, RM50 was just enough for me to spend comfortably with A LITTLE to save at the end of the week. This semester, RM50 isn't enough. In fact, I had to take some money out of my piggy bank/ backup money to ensure that my tummy is filled. Of course, I don't get to save any money at all. I guess I won't be going on any trips in the near future if the situation continues to be this bad. Thanks to our smart authorities, everything is on the rise (including crime, HAHA!). Except anyone's payroll (politicians aside).

So, to end this post, I would like to say something random. I WANT A G-SHOCK WATCH.

Okbai, for now!

Probably my last post that is long enough that you have to blink quite a number of times to finish reading it.

No, I'm not retiring from nagging and writing long posts to tell you how awful the world can be, or how life is interesting if you see it in a different perspective. It's just that I'm now thrown back into reality. In two days time, my 4th semester will start and as an undergrad, the tension just gets higher and higher. Exponentially. By the time I reach my final year, I do hope I still have my hair. Don't want to be losing hair from the oh-so-stressful-and-I-should-be-beginning-to-think-of final year project. The titles are quite broad and diverse, but it still scares me, nonetheless. Thankful that I did well in my 3rd semester and hopefully, I can repeat the same feat.

Today, we (as in my family) celebrated my Mum's birthday. Coming from a tough family background, my Mum rose above the challenges to become someone that everyone can look up to in life. My Mum is my first love in life and definitely, will always be. Love you lots Mummy!

Made my Mum an origami crane. There are two cranes, a small one and a large one, conjoined at the wings. :)

 Earlier in the morning, I rushed back to my hostel to collect the keys to my hostel room. The thought that the new semester is going to start in 2 days, or rather, in around 25 hours, just terrifies me. Well, I love my university, but then the people living in it makes it hell sometimes. The hostel is so clean and conducive with no one around. The toilets are clean, with no empty bottles strewn around the floor. The corridors are empty, no shoes or slippers all about the corridor. And the dustbins are as clean as they can be, not overflowing like ugly goo spewing over from a beaker. I want an empty hostel! Quite sadly too, this is the last semester my roomate will be in UPM. He'll be finishing his Masters degree in economics and may want to pursue his PhD in UKM on a part-time basis. Hopefully, in the 5th semester, I will get an awesome roomate. HOPEFULLY. But for now, I just need to do well in the following semester. Dying to skip Masters in Science and do a direct PhD in a chemistry-related field.

Everything looks so unbelievably ordered and clean, it's as if entropy is still in a less disordered form!

Lately, I've been trying to approach people, first looking for friendship, then probably a relationship. It feels like I've failed myself again and again, miserably. Not pretty sure it's because of my looks, or because I don't have a hot body. Hrmm, probably it's because I'm not rich? Popularity? No, I don't think I have it. It probably means that I just have to take a rest from all these things. Just be alone. The start of the new semester is just the right motivation for me to cut all ties with those who don't find anything special in me. Love, isn't blind. Love, is too choosy, really!

Meh!

I've finally got myself a date!

Now that I've got your attention, I can finally say what I actually intended to say. MWAHAHAHAHAHA. Well, it's a hoax. No, I'm still single and probably will stay like that for another 930732982140137497092793217491 years. Nevertheless, it's a good day today, being single, despite today being Valentines' and also Chap Goh Mei, what the Chinese would consider a "match-making" day. Yes, ladies write their names and personal contacts on oranges and throw them into a (preferably) a stagnant body of water such as a lake, and guys would go and fish them oranges out and then contact the girl. Well, you may think this is some kind of "lucky draw" and does exhibit some form of gambling. Quite safe to assume so. *giggles!* Alas, it's the relationship that matters, a little gamble doesn't hurt. Unless the government thinks of it as a threat to society, though.

Okay that was long enough a distraction. Back to the reason I'm so happy today...  I've finally scored a 4-flat for my examination in university! It has been three semesters that I've been there for my undergrad studies and the first two semesters, I scored only first-class honours. It may look good to many but being the high achiever I am, anything less than perfect is, well, imperfect. On the third semester, thankfully, after all that hard work (and anxiety) paid off. Satisfied! I remember the few weeks of physical chemistry assignments regarding Hittorf's method for determining ion transport numbers. Was enough to make me lose my mind.

HOORAY! I REPEAT, HOORAY!

Reaching this paragraph of this post reminds me of a song by Nelly Furtado, Good Things Come to An End. In a few days time, the new semester starts, with even greater challenges. Of course, I am afraid. It gets tougher by the semesters. But one thing for sure, God is there. And I have those special few I can fall back on when I am weak. Love them lots.

Hopefully I will be attached sooner, or later. Happy V-day to all couples and even singles out there!

Kindergarten days.

So I was taking a jog around my neighbourhood and I saw a little boy, around the age of 5, flashing his set of pearly white teeth while waving at me, as if it's his first time seeing anyone jog around the nieghbourhood. Nevertheless, it got me smiling. For an instant, I felt like I wanted to become a child again. Free from the cares of the world, responsibilities and many other petty things.

With that being said, I want to share my many small pictures I have when I was in kindergarten. Most of it will revolve around my relationship with my Grandma, because she had been a large part of my life, especially during my childhood days. She, being a native of China, speaks no other language but her own dialect (not even Mandarin) but has come to pick up languages in Malaysia by listening (she doesn't speak but she can understand). Having been brought to a better place around 2 years ago, I can't help it but miss the moments I spent with her as a child.

1. I dislike eating red bean soup and fried beehoon (rice vermicelli).
When I was a young, innocent (still am) boy, my Grandma (whom I fondly call Ma Ma) loves to cook the two types of dishes together. Yes, one cannot exist without the other. Ma Ma cooks this as frequent as we breathe. Okay, well not that often, but sometimes twice to three times a week. Usually, if I have the dishes for lunch, it's high chance that I will be having it again for dinner or probably tea time. What makes it much worse is that sometimes the aunty that cooks meals for us in kindergarten, happens to cook the same dishes on that very day I will have red bean soup and beehoon at my Ma Ma's place. Yes, malnutrition is bad, but having to eat the same dishes three times a day sure can terrify a kid, too. But my Ma Ma loves me, it's just that she doesn't cook much fancy dishes. Back in China, you have to make do with what you have and whatever they have, isn't much to work with. You can't make awesome abalone soup when the only thing you have is vegetables, right?

2. When I hold a pencil (crayon, oil pastels, etc) and a paper, there's no stopping me!
Kids in my days don't really wield the power of the finger to swipe or tap a handheld device. Only the wealthy get to hold a Nintendo. Armed with only raw imagination, I always drew on papers what I felt. I drew things that were beyond imagination. I expressed many things in my art. I knew I wasn't the best at it, but drawing helped me express my thoughts as a child. I loved drawing Ultraman (he was my childhood hero back then, along with Doraemon and Crayon Shin Chan) and cars back then. I could still remember pestering anyone who could hold a pencil properly to draw me cars. Just cars. A simple look at pencil-drawn cars brings joy to me. Dad was always the victim of my enthusiasm with these drawings of car. Haha, those were the days of me going crazy of cars. Oh did I mention, I had taste, even since I was a young kid. I hated crayons and I loved oil pastels. (Crayons are hard and never fills up all the white spaces on an uneven piece of white paper. Those who have used crayons and pastels will understand me.) And as a kid, I always preferred using a CLEAR piece of A4 sheet, rather than foolscap paper with lines or A4 paper with company logos printed all over them. I felt that these were an obstruction to my free flow of drawing. Ah, taste is acquired. I happen to keep some of these "taste" as I was growing, probably up until now. :)

3. I happen to have very sharp memories of my surroundings as a kid.
There are many memories I have that are as vivid and clear as the day it happened. Many actually. Like:
(i) I remember that Mum bought my sister and I a rubber ball each. My sister had a red one and I had a blue one. The rubber ball had a picture of Garfield (yes, that fat orange cat) in it and is glittery. One fine day on the bus, I was admiring this new treasure that Mum has bought for me. I really felt proud and happy to have it. Unfortunately for me, the ball slipped out of my hand, and as bouncy as it is, it slowly bounced it's way down and out of the bus, never to be seen again. I don't remember crying but I felt really sad after that. It was fairly new, less than a week with me. And it was just gone, just like that. It was really traumatising as a kid, having lost something that he just found to love. Probably the reason why I get so sensitive and emotional now when small things happen to me.

(ii) I asked my Ma Ma to buy me Ultraman stickers from a WET MARKET! Back then, my Dad used to ferry my Ma Ma to the Old Klang Road (Jalan Klang Lama) Wet Market to do her weekly grocery shopping. Just a few weeks before that, Mum bought an Ultraman sticker sheet for me to add into my sticker book (YEA! Sticker collecting was a fad back then). I loved how the glossy stickers shone in when exposed to light at different angles. So, with this love for Ultraman, I asked  if Ma Ma could get me Ultraman stickers if they found them in the wet market, she said OK. At that time, I was a little doubtful. How did Ma MA know what Ultraman is even without asking me what it looks like? Probably she knew. But obviously, wet markets don't sell Ultraman stickers. I guess that was just another Saturday weekend at the market with my Dad and Ma Ma.

(iii) On the first day at my kindergarten (Kuen Cheng Kindergarten, it's still there!) I made a teacher roll down the stairs. No, it wasn't on purpose. In fact, I rolled down with her. It's the first day and every single kid must be excited and somewhat afraid to be separated from their parents. I was this overenthusiastic kid running up the stairs, not seeing what as ahead of me (I guess this is how "leap before you think" is practised) and BOOM! I knocked into another teacher and both of us went rolling down. If I don't not recall wrongly, we were going up the stairs from the back of the building. I'm pretty sure she wore a light-blue coloured dress and was a little plump, not fat, just plump. (The kind of plump that makes you smile when you see them). When both of us were finally at the bottom of the flight of stairs, we were both weeping. So much fun for the first day!

(iv) Once, I brought a very large toy car to school. A large, plastic toy car of a Mercedez Benz (don't know what model, but I can recognize it when I see it) which was glossy green in colour and had rims of a Proton Wira. Yes, the older Proton Wira. It made whirring noises when it's pushed and it was really cool! Being a fan of cars, and as a kid, this was as close to a sports car as any toy can be! Oh yes, so I brought it to school and there's this annoying fat boy (which I didn't really like) kept telling the teacher that I brought toys to school. Annoying much. Pfffft.

(v) Mum bought me my first Hot Wheels set which made me really happy. It was a toll plaza set and it came with a yellow Ferrari Testarossa. You can imagine me playing with that toy set for hours and hours on end with it, along with my other toy cars. I loved matchbox toy cars and Mum and Dad will surprise me with one every now and then. When I was allowed to buy one, I would always ask Dad, "Pa, which car faster? A or B?" and I will always end up choosing the one I liked, regardless of whether it was the faster one or not. Fickle-minded child I was. And sometimes, still am.

(vi) Mum always bought Happy Meals for us in sets of two. One set for me and one for my sister. Despite having a love hate relationship with my sister when we were younger (not the "I wanna' kill you hate", but the "I'm big bro, you listen to me" kind of hate), we were always the bestest of buddies. I think I was the cuter one of us both. I remember Mum once bought a set of two tiny tiger plush toys and my sister's tiger was labelled with a red mark and mine with a blue mark. She did the same for the lion, that came next in the series, too. Sometimes, Mattel would collaborate and I would have a Hot Wheels car and my sis would have a Barbie accessory. I still have Happy Meals once in a while to relive those moments as a child. It's magical.

I really missed being a child. Being simple. Free from all the annoyance of growing up. Being a child, you know you will be protected by your parents, no matter what. Growing up seems terrible to me, but I know I will rock the world. How was your childhood, care to share?

Mosquito attack!

*Silence*

*PIAK!, followed by another stretch of silence*

*PIAK! PIAK!... PIAK!*

Sudden exclamation: YES!

Okay, so that was quite the scenario the past few days when I went in the toilet to take my bath. This evening, was the worst of the past few days. I hit a record of 18 mosquitoes in the shower. Never have I hit that many mosquitoes in the toilet (or, never in my life I've hit so many mosquitoes in a day). The weather has been very humid and hot since the end of the first week of Chinese New Year. In fact, it is bordering on "driving people mad" and "PLEASE KILL ME NOW". No joke. Just two days ago, I woke up in the dead of night (yeah, 4.30 a.m is a right time for the dead to go around taking over the living) because it was so warm, too warm for me to even sleep comfortably. The moment I woke up, I was drenched (not literally) in sweat. I could water a whole orchard of jackfruit tree with that amount of water. I've been taking steps to overcome this atrocity and hopefully this evil the weather has been breeding will come to an end.

Did I mention that I am finally convinced that mosquitoes are actually demons in the guise of harmless looking insects. If you observe real closely, they resemble demons more, if compared to insects. Terrified now? Go say your prayers! See, these little monsters are winged, which gives them high mobility and agility to spread evil. Realise how you get so angry after a mosquito bite? YES! EVIL! Still not convinced? They have six legs! Ugly, right? Demons are ugly (but some believe they have shape-shifting abilities, but mosquitoes probably lack the mana or the skill to master shape-shifting). Well, this is the one that will finally blow you off your seats: MOSQUITOES SUCK BLOOD! Most demonic ritual require blood sacrifice. AND THEY TAKE BLOOD FROM YOU! See, demons! Tiny ones! RAWR!


Take care people!

U DON'T KNOW ME!

Okay! So here's the thing. You can never judge a person if you don't know that person pretty well. So here's the thing, I will introduce a part of me here so you'll know me a little better. If you're here reading this, it's quite a good sign knowing that you show a little interest in knowing me. It may sound that I am a little full of myself, but hey! it's my blog. But thanks for reading though! ;)

n Things to Know About Me, where n is an element of Z (integer):

1. I like all the strangest things.
While people enjoy the mainstream things, I prefer all the things that people are not really into. Pop songs on the radio, latest mainstream fashion and the likes of that. Not my cup of tea. In fact, seeing mainstream annoys me. What do I enjoy? Sitting down feeling the breeze while enjoying a hot cup of tea. Origami. Designing the things I would wear instead of getting them from the store. Chameleons (instead of rearing dogs, cats, hamsters, etc), bright colours, reading real-life biographies instead of fiction, science (specifically, chemistry), visual and performing arts, small group gatherings instead of large gatherings (heck, you wouldn't even know half the crowd). So yes, I don't enjoy most things that people my age would.

2. I don't care what you think about me.
When I was younger, I used to think that we are what people tell us to be. If you are stupid, it's because what people make you think you are. If you're hot, that's because society tells you're hot. I used to to things to impress those around me. Trying to be accepted. As a teen, that's inevitable. We all try to be accepted. Slowly, (until the end of Form 5) I realised that that's not the case. I found larger potential in myself. So, I dumped that whole mentality and adopted a new persona. A better one. Yes, I don't care if you tell me I dress weird. I look strange (like something out of Alice in the Wonderland). I behave like an E.T dressed in human suit. It no longer bothers me. As long as I feel fabulous in my skin, you can even split the world in half, I still would not be fazed by anything you'll say to me, because we are what we say to ourselves. When you give society one step in defining you, they will take two steps. Yes, I shaved part of my brows because I liked it. I felt having normals brows was mainstream. Before you want to make any comments, think first. Because I wouldn't give two hoots in firing you down.

3. I'm caring, despite being aggressive and loud.
Okay, so it may look like a contradiction. How can anyone be so aggressive and yet caring. Not to forget he's in his own world (some of you may start to feel like I'm some Mr. Living-in-his-bubble). I'm caring. I just don't say lots of things. Things like "Love you" only come when I mean it. Unfortunately, some people think I'm joking and that talk is cheap. I guess I should cut down on sweet talk because people no longer enjoy compliments. Humans are so demanding that. Someday in the future, you marry your fists for blowjobs, because you can't find anyone that matches your taste. It may sound rude, but the fact stays. People nowadays want the best. Aren't you forgetting something, we're all imperfect. So yes, I'm caring, but don't expect a lot from me if you play bitch. Anything along that line deserves to be shot in the gut with a shotgun.

4. Working with me can be stressful.
I don't like taking up leadership posts because I'm somewhat a perfectionist. I've been a top students since primary school and I guess part of that has moulded me into a "kiasu". It's beneficial to my work and studies (but healthwise, not always). Anything less than my expectations is trash. Simple. I don't take up and posts unless necessary or if I'm forced to. Expect verbal abuse if you don't meet my standards after being told, advised and guided countless times.

5. I don't talk with people unless I like them.
Making new friends is not a problem to me. But to be close to me, you have to be on the same wavelength as I am. It's natural right? I don't have many friends because most of them aren't on the same page as I am. Thankfully, there are those who know me and accept me for who I am and I have got the feeling we'll stay that way 'til death do us part. Those who aren't, most of them are gone. No, I don't intend to contact them anymore. I'm not cocky. It's just strange chatting with someone who has no common interest as you do. The only thing that we'll even chat about revolves around AWKWARD. Geddit?

Another thing is, if I personally chat a person up, it's not like I have a personal agenda. I'm not that kind of a**hole. But if that person plays hard to get (tells me he/she has something to do EVERY SINGLE TIME), sorry-lah bro/ sis. Not my type. Some don't even to say goodbye, just disappearing like that. DIDN'T MAMA TELL YOU THAT NOT GREETING PEOPLE IS RUDE?

6. I don't let those who offend me go easily.
Honestly, I'm not a forgiving person. I'm easily offended. A simple sorry doesn't mean I will forgive you. If I do forgive, I won't forget. My emotions have been played on before, so this is a defensive mechanism. Live with that. Luckily, if I really forgive you, SINCERELY, I would have forgotten what you've done to me. Literally. I won't remember at all until you remind me. I don't beat people up for clarification.

7. I love toys.
I'm a boy. Boys don't outgrow their love for toys. So, if you see me with toys, shut up. Play with your phone or fondle you handbag. Leave me alone.

8. I absolutely am fond of sweet stuffs.
This applies widely to chocolates. Love having Chinese desserts such as gingko with barley, black glutinous rice paste, lychee with white fungus and a whole list of desserts.

Terrified of me now? Good.

TERRIFIED!

Okay, just today, I was trying to be nice to an online friend. Well, you know, being nice, started to chat and started to initiate conversations. Well, then this fella' started playing hard to get, as if I was all interested. Well, interested to be friends, but this fella' thinks that the whole world wanna' know this person. After a few replies, this fella' told me to stop bugging him, because I wasn't "interesting" enough, I guess. Well, people nowadays love to look at the outside. People love to be superficial. Yes, read that sentence again. People LOVE to be superficial. Honestly, being superficial is indeed necessary for people to work hard and achieve a better status. Quite sadly, some of the people I know have their life centralised over material wealth and good. In terms of relationship, they only want to know good-looking, rich and influential people. Most ironically, they aren't really that "hot" in their own rights. In fact, these people are, to my opinion, insecure, hollow, pathetic and have no stand in whatever they do. I believe they let society dictate who they should become, what they are and where they stand in the social stratum. So, it's inevitable that I have to adopt an "I don't really care you know" attitude. If anyone like this happens to come by in my life, I'd just let it go. It's not strange. In fact, so many of these type of people have come and go in my life. Another few more won't destroy me. These situations may hurt some people (because they feel rejected), but to me, people should feel strengthened from the rejection faced. If you've ever felt rejected in life, don't be down. People are superficial and you can't do much about it. On the contrary, you can choose how to live your life. You can choose to not let these fools destroy you. You are beautiful! :)

Feelings?

So lately, I've been socialising on, well, social media quite a lot, exploring people around me. Thankfully, I haven't come across and psychos (yet) and I do plan to keep it that way.

On these "socialising trips", I do realise that some people are indeed strange and somewhat peculiar in their thinking. It sometimes baffles me.

Example:
People who claim to be simple.
Reality:
Nolah, I'm simple. I don't like this to be like this, No that is too difficult, You're too long-winded, and a lot more other perplexing thoughts of theirs come flowing out when you really get to know them. It contradicts with who they claim to be.

Some other type of people are those that expect a Mr. and Mrs. Perfect, but don't really see their flaws. Anyone short of being "perfect", they'll be able to nail down every single "flaw" and give you the big "get-lost-you-are-not-perfect" punch in the face. Thing is, they are not really perfect themselves. It really does pisses me off at times but come to think of it, these demanding people are the ones at the losing end. Why? They are empty inside and they need something to fill their void, but still they refuse those who are willing to fill that void, despite being imperfect. Want something perfect? You'll never have it.

And there are those who love being barnacles and leeches. This type of people are everywhere. There isn't really a need to describe these people in detail. Freeloaders on other people's fame, simple!

But of course, there are sincere ones too. Only a handful. Alas, these handful of nice people are the ones who'll be around you when you need them to. Hopefully.

Ngeh, this is getting whiny and pointless. :) Bid you guys farewell for now and have a great day!

To those who really follow my blog, you should realise that there was a sudden change in the name of the blog and also the description below it. No, this blog isn't hijacked/ hacked in any way.

It's just that I've decided that I've moved on from the phase of being a whiny teenager into a more matured teenager. Yes, I still consider myself a teenager.

So yes, the change of name does reflect a little change in me. This will be my hideaway, my secret treehouse when the world does not agree to what I say. A place where I can have my voices heard (or written) and people can come and share their thoughts with me, away from prying ears (eyes).

Hopefully, with this change, there will be less whiny posts (I'll still be whiny, I'm a teenager) but it'll be for the fun, I guess. Thanks for those still in touch with this blog. Love you guys lots.