An update to calm my emotions a little.
School's having a two-weeks break for Hari Raya. Ah, some space to breathe. Well, that's what I thought. And yes, then comes something called holiday assignments. Oh great, there goes the break. And yes, there was a bunch of homework splashed upon us, as if homework were a blessing to us. Blessing in disguise, I hope.
Ah, there is one thing that's still troubling my deepest emotions. Well, it isn't that bad, but for one as emotional as me, it stirs my emotions mad. Should I say insecurity? Perhaps.
This incident went on like this:
On Tuesday [14th September 2010], I went for lunch with Wai Yan, Evon and Josh. Well, all things were fine. Yes, very fine up until the moment when I blurted a stupid statement. "How would I know if Josh ever dated before?". Yes, as harmful as the statement may sound, it made the conversation a hell lot more awkward. Well, this is an insider thing that I shouldn't divulge freely out to the public... But I just want to apologize because I didn't know much about the past of my buddies in SMK Jinjang, much because of the fact that I'm new there. Many secrets were kept in vaults that I could not access yet. The whole fact that Wai Yan told me yesterday [15th September 2010] made it all clear to me...
Evon, sorry-lah okay? Can't tell you every single thing because... There's this Malay proverb that goes, "Diluah mati bapa, ditelan mati ibu". I should shut up so I wouldn't ruin any relationship.
And Josh. Sorry too-lah. Forgive my ignorance...
And I think I should just shut my mouth and play statuette. No point talking so much already. Could hurt many more hearts, thanks to my ignorance.
Yes, we cannot avoid the fact that we do hurt the feelings of others sometimes, but these people are to dear to me, I can't bear the thought of even making them sad. Ouch I'd say...
I could use some hard liquor right now. =(
*sighs*
I think I should sign off. For now. Love you peeps.
=CHIcken WINGs=
