From the bottom of my a**

Work? Labour?

2012-01-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

So, yes, I've been working since the 2nd of January 2012. I thought I should give this job a shot, since I've gone for interview already, what could be too hard, right? I mean, STPM is way harder than any job at entry-level. So, I ended up being a salesman, the very thing that I DID NOT WANT to be in the first place. Hallelujah.

I thought to myself: Things are about to get worse. Of course, I kept an open mind about this matter. Knowledge gained during my stint as a salesman could save my ass many years down the road, should I be retrenched from my job in the future. Touch wood, I hope that will not happen, God forbid it.

Today, I had a very stunning experience during my work time. As in, literally stun-ning. I was there standing, promoting my products (as for those who do not know yet, I'm selling products for P1, short for Packet One, a subsidiary company of Green Packet Berhad). I was standing in my teeny-weeny kiosk, hoping and crossing my oh-so-flexible fingers that I could just sell one unit, at most. Then, a frail, old lady walked pass my kiosk, holding on to my kiosk to support her weak body while trying to walk to a spot about 3 feet away from my kiosk. She reached the spot, taking twice the time any youngster would take. I would say I sympathise with her situation. It seems to me that she is waiting for a family member that had gone shopping in the supermarket (Oh, yes, my kiosk is located just outside the supermarket). Suddenly, this old lady, with a seemingly weak and worn body, took a ciggie out of her pocket, slipped the ciggie into her mouth, produced a matchbox laden with matches from her pocket, lit up the match, then the ciggie. Oh, then she started puffing away happily. I went: What the hell?! Why did I even symphatised for her?! =.=

Work has been an eye-opening experience. Way better than my post-SPM job, but of course both jobs did show me a different perspective of the world. Things don't always go the way you expect them to be. It's better to just let go of your expectations and shape them as you go down the road.

And FYI, I still miss you everyday. I want to tell you that I miss you and I love you, but I guess it would not matter anymore.

Lots of love,

=CHIcken WINGs=

I go like, "WHUD?"

2011-12-30T18:45:00.000+08:00

It feels like forever since STPM. Hell, it only ended two weeks ago. The abrupt relief from pressure and stress all of a sudden is so depressing. It was through them that I thrusted myself forward to achieve better standards in life. Indeed, somewhere along the line, I lost my identity and seek to recover my sense of being a unique individual.

Now, without the mojo-bojo-tension, life feels like it's swaying from a hammock, tied to the bough of the tree, gently dancing to the motion of the wind. It's too comfortable. It's definitely NOT very good. Thankfully, I've finally gotten a job to work for about 8 months. The fact that I've finally found a job is rather therapeutic. (Please refer to date of this post if you love details.)

The past two days spent with my cousin was really fun. It's not that we see each other like we see ourselves in the mirror every morning/noon/night/in-front-of-you-all-the-time-'cause-I-love-my-mirror. It's good to have company that can understand you and not be mad or freaked out by you for doing the silliest of stuffs.

I am a sinner for not blogging in ages. But. I don't know. But someone broke my heart not too long ago. Should it hurt? I think I will call for a mojito. ;)

Any STPM-ers that are too free to the bone? Lemme' know, I gots the jobs, I needs tha' peoples.

XOXO

=CHIcken WINGs=

Nincompoop, yes.

2011-12-03T22:29:00.001+08:00

It's really inevitable that stupidity lies in our genes. Humans are created to be the most intelligent creatures on Earth. Research has proven that an average human uses less than 1% of his or her total brain capacity. Even one of the greatest thinkers of all time, Albie Einstein, used a mere 3% of his brainpower. Unfortunately, humans make the biggest blunders of all time. A cheetah that has failed to catch a little rabbit will feel so happy for himself if it were to compare itself with human stupidity.

Falling in love with the wrong person certainly is foolish. Chasing after him or her, man, you must be out of your mind. Most certainly, the heartbreak has made you lose your very frame of sanity.

Unfortunately, that very stupid person, is me. It is no other than I and me.

The heartbreak hurts.

The cycle of getting a new one, building bridges and then the heartbreak is just unbearable.

You know what, studying hard should be my priority with the utmost importance. In future, you may regret your choice.

I will be the best you never and forever will never have.

No loves.

=CHIcken WINGs=

ISH. Wing-wing, please be realistic!

2011-11-17T11:27:00.001+08:00

The moment when I thought that you'd fall for me, that was the moment I became the dumbest person on earth.

2011-11-12T23:45:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you say take a chill pill, but when I take it, you don't like it.
Sometimes you say have some fun, but when I do, you don't like it.
Stop speaking in riddles and get straight to the point.
That's really one reason why I want to go away.
It's not that I don't understand you, it's just that you don't get me.
Short to say, communication isn't something we have in common.
Yeah, it's always my fault.
That doesn't make you even a demi-god.
I'm starting to think that my very existence is just a coincidence.
Maybe I'm the only mistake he's ever made.

Study? A total drag.

2011-11-09T10:58:00.002+08:00

Okay, I must admit that school breaks are so totally awesome. But then, it gets really boring and monotonous when study comes into the picture. Yes, STPM is indeed around the corner but I just can't help but to laze around! Honestly, I wished school was still on. If only the speed and pace of teaching could be slowed down, I wouldn't mind going back to school to study during this study break. At least I have no bloody reason to laze about in school. FML?

It's also rather depressing staying at home. I have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD to think about that person. The thought of never seeing that person again brings my oh-so-high mood back to the ground again. Ever heard of falling elephants? Well, that's just the way my emotions are when it comes to thinking of that person. IMH. Lots. But I don't think we're going to work out together. :(

Sigh. All the best wishes to STPM candidates out there, especially the 2011 batch! Revise like this is the last time you'll ever hold a book! God bless ya'll! :)

=CHIcken WINGs=

Where?

2011-11-05T01:12:00.000+08:00

Just when I needed someone to talk to, I can't find one. They have kinds of reasons and things to do. It's not that like they owe me a thing. I just need a listening ear, that's all.

I miss that person real much. So much that it hurts to say goodbye. I just need someone to listen, just for a while. Does it take so much effort?

I can't be blamed if I don't share my problems to anyone. Obviously, no one cares, no one wants to know and no one really wants to take the effort to understand a millionth of my problem. Everyone wants to be cared for but nobody really wants to become a listening ear.

Blogs can be useful sometimes.

=CHIcken WINGs=

A dash of salt, a pinch of sugar and pepper.

2011-11-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

School is almost coming to an end. I'm feeling a mixture of emotions, all muddled up inside my mind. Or is it my heart? Going to miss all the sweet and sour memories in school. I'd probably forget the sour ones. It ain't worth keeping.

Pre-University Council

My very, very epic class.

There's really no such thing as a perfect, immaculate class. There is always the class clown, the serious bunch, the emotional bunch and there's always gossip. Heck, we don't need bad influence such as gossips, I know. But what is school without gossips to spice and lighten up our days? Being with them (as in classmates) really did change me a lot. It's an inevitable fact.

Of course, there are bunch and truck-loads of other friends that I made while I was in Form 6. Little ones up to those as old as I am.

Happy, sad, indifferent? I think I can't say for now. My emotions are currently not in proper, normal functions. Probably I no longer rely on emotions anymore. 'cause nobody really cares about how anybody feels anyway.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Whatever you say.

2011-10-30T23:36:00.000+08:00

我永远都是错的。 Hopefully I'll leave as soon as possible. Leave home or leave this place forever. 有时侯, 真的不是我的错，但是你死都说是我错。给你说饱他吧。。。没可能是我100％错的好不好？

算了吧，没feel了。

=CHIcken WINGs=

2011-10-24T21:40:00.000+08:00

Yes, microblogging is the hype currently. Am looking for a few read-worthy blogs, be it simple rants of someone's daily life or even just thoughts and ideas of practically anybody. Twitter (not against it, but come on!) has killed the fun and creativity in writing, especially blogs. Blogs may be old-fashioned to some, but written words will never lose out to simple dots-and-dashes with a couple of hash-tags and acronyms.

Peeps, if you're at my blog reading this, do drop me your blog address (if you don't mind me reading it-lah) on my Wall at facebook, or just send me an inbox message. Cure my boredom and HEY, it's another extra person to share your thoughts with. :)

=CHIcken WINGs=

Don't pray for the problem to go away.

2011-10-22T11:23:00.001+08:00

Well, school has been a little relaxing this week. Thank goodness all of our subjects have been covered thoroughly and we're pretty much into revision now. That leaves us with a-little-not-too-much time to chatter and just be a little merry at the moment.

This particular week has been a pretty warm and humid week, especially in school. The electricity supply to our particular block has been cut off for no apparent reason (well, apparently, the fuse box went a little haywire). So, we did complain a little (no, honestly, we complained a lot) about how warm it is. It's very warm, really. Our class was next to a metal awning, or rather roof. The heat is reflected right into our class. FUH! Miss Catherine came into our class for Maths. So we did our Maths and past-year papers and then we related this problem of "warmness" to her. So, she told us the history of Form 6 students in SMK Jinjang to us. Long story.

But there is something that she said that was pretty meaningful. It goes like this: "Wai Yan, I always tell you this, don't say it like this. You should pray for her so that she will get promoted, then she will be transferred to another school!". Paraphrased, it sounds like this: Don't pray for the problem to leave. Pray for yourself that you'll be the one leaving the problem so you'll move on to a place with greener pastures.

So, I've changed my mindset a little. I've changed my requests when I pray. Though sometimes God may not listen and grant all your requests, I do think he'll grant me this wish, just this one time.

To that special someone: I can't let you go even if I wanted to. I refuse to, 'cause I love you. You'll probably never know.
To the person I SMS-ed yesterday: Take care. Don't want you to fall sick. :)

I want alcohol, please.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Oh back-to-back.

2011-10-15T00:04:00.002+08:00

Feeling a little blue and gloomy today. Ain't sick. Just not sound in mind. Wrong amounts of neurotransmitters may lead to depression, as the textbook says. Damn it.

Graduation Day will soon come to pass. Memories in SMK Jinjang that I would not want to keep may soon be forgotten, thrown into eternal oblivion. Those beautiful memories, I will etch them into my heart and may time not distort its charm and lustre.

Photos will be totally necessary on that day. Will be going trigger-happy with my new-found partner, a second-hand DSLR. Ain't no high-range, but still packs a tiny punch.

All the best cameras won't mean a thing if I can't have a shot, a picture, a concrete memory, of you with me. Just one shot, will you?

Am hoping these last few days in high-school, pre-tertiary studies, will be a memorable one. We may say "We'll meet up as often as possible", but how often and how willing is everyone to keep the ties close? Questionable, with no concrete and logical deductions, no solid conclusion.

Just my thoughts.

P.S: If I dislike you, it means I dislike you. There's no catch, no freebies. Just plain, shitty, "I don't like you".

Loves.

=CHIcken WINGs=

This is random.

2011-10-14T23:57:00.002+08:00

I had this sudden hunch that somebody might be needing this. Oh well. Or just maybe. It doesn't hurt writing a piece of short article on blogs right? It's just a matter of spending the few kilocalories typing the text on keyboard.

Suicide isn't the way to solve things. Indeed, suicide may seem to be the shortest way out of problems. But is that so? Is suicide really the ultimatum when there is absolutely no other solution? Suicide merely leads you to a full stop, not really a comma - or even a hyphen.

Think of all the people who care for you. Thoughts of suicide may derail your sound mind, but people do care for you. It's just a matter of finding those who really care and sifting out those who aren't really there to back you up in times of troubles and trials.

Ever tried talking to God? He's one more solution you can try. And He works in awesome ways. Guaranteed to work.

XoXo

=CHIcken WINGs=

Hiatus: End.

2011-10-03T16:25:00.004+08:00

I've been of the plains and realm of the digital world for quite some time now.

The plain, untainted truth is because my computer modem died and its sickness was not diagnosed properly until yesterday. Yeah, check the date of this post to know when its sickness was made clear. It fell sick and disrupted the whole internet access to my house for almost a whole month (probably a tad bit more than a month). That makes me officially offline for almost a month. Thankfully, there's something called the handphone. Handphone browsers aren't the best stuffs in the world, but at least little status updates can make you feel a little not-so-lonely or suddenly throw into oblivion, at least in the context of the digital world. I'm still co-existing with everyone, only that I'm not alive as in alive. Oh shut up me.

Trials was over not too long ago. Make it 2-and-a-half weeks ago. Results weren't something to die for. An A, B+, B and a C. Marvelous. =.= Let's just hope I score a little above the 3.2-pointer during STPM. That's a must, really.

Nothing really interesting has happened lately. I'm still single (Oh duh.) and obviously nobody really wants me. Hmm. Looked at myself in the mirror last midnight (Oh a big taboo!) and I realised I have larger-than-normal eyebag size. I may be able to scare a ghost and get away with it, for all I know. As usual, still having this same old problem of "Cinta tepuk sebelah tangan" when it comes to love. Thriving on crumbs of so-called love the one I'm in love with. Damn, cruel love. (It's pretty much o0o to me when it comes to topics on love.)

Recently, Mum told me one of her colleagues is selling an old DSLR and she may have intentions to buy one after hearing of my interest in getting one. Yeah, photography is fun. But the intention to get me one soon fizzled out. I knew it was too good to be true. Looks like my initial plan to get one after I've started working is still currently in use and no change might happen to it at the moment. Sigh.

Speaking of jobs, I just nailed a RM50 an hour job at one of my ex-tuition teacher's tuition centre at Ara Damansara. Well, it's just a one-day thing, but I earned RM225 in a day. Anyone wants to hire me as a tutor? :) The students were waaaaaaaay different as to what Sai Mun told me. He said the students were noisy and very playful. They were nothing like what he said. Hmmm. Maybe they're just plain shy, or maybe I look waaaaaaaaay old and fugly that they are not brave enough to say anything. FML? Whatever.

Love you-lah. Why are you playing hard to get? NA! o0o

:)

Am just hoping for the best. God, you guide my life, can?

=CHIcken WINGs=

Some crumbs from my large cookie.

2011-08-06T23:18:00.003+08:00

The title above is just a mere symbolic representation of the sentence "a little update from my life for the past few weeks". It gets a little oh-so-cliche if I use the same title for every blog post, again-and-again-and-again, ain't it?

I have pretty bad long-term memory, in terms of recalling exact and specific events. My brain is purely made for study, therefore it does not really serve any other purpose. That's the way I view my brain of course. Let's not veer of course, shall we?

Things hasn't really been over-the-top for the past fortnight or so. Thank goodness I did not hit rock-bottom, too. Exam was on two weeks ago, so there wasn't really much going-ons happening in school. Except, well, at tuition or during recess when I have time to become a chatterbox, that's when I'd realise the things going on around me. Frankly speaking, I'm still upset over a few things today. I mean like, NOW.

Firstly, I'm upset about a few friends being so on-the-fence towards me. One moment they can be really close to you, trying everything to be a nice person. The next picosecond, they seem to have thrown the thought of you into oblivion, never to think nor care for you anymore. I'm a really oh-so-what-I-don't-care-much person, but I do care for these bunch of friends. Maybe it's time for me to really cut ties (Sad people say and do anything, oh well... :( ) or just really forget about them. Why keep a relationship if you struggle too hard and it's bringing the relationship to nowhere? It really applies to any relationship, not merely to courtship alone.

The next reason is I'm not really sure whether if some of my friends are really my friends. As the "catchphrase" of the movie "The Social Network" goes, you can't make many friends without making enemies at all. I guess making new friends can be really fun, but what if your current "close" friends gets jealous and starts to ruin your reputation in front of your "new" friends? I'm just assuming this IS really happening at the moment. I dare not ask whether if it's true, I don't want to cause any dent in my current relationship with any of my friends. Again, I should just keep this matter in my heart and hope that it subsides one day. Or hopefully the answers come rolling by without me pursuing the answer in vain...

Thirdly, study stress is catching up on me. I feel like I'm ready for STPM, at the same time I feel like I'm not. I just feel like I'm in a mess. A foreigner in a sea of people. A note in a cacophony of noises. I feel a little lost. God has given me a compass, and clearly I'm not really good in using it, yet.

Thankfully, my cousin, *ahem*, Maryann has some good advice and she's given me bits and pieces of them (unless she comes screaming at this blog post saying "WHAT BITS AND PIECES?!"). Advice does not work wonders, but at least they calm a man's heart. Come on, every human loves a little encouragement. And there's YAP SHUANG YI that's patient enough to listen to my rants and complaints every single day during Biology period. I feel a little guilty being a spotlight, though. SORRY, KAH WAI! :) Kah Wai is an awesome person too. Jasmine Yeo is also a really great listener too.~ And best of all, she's also another patient non-human. No normal human can tolerate my noise, so she can be considered an organism that is in no way related to humans.

Sighs. Thankfully these bunch of people are here to cheer me up even when I'm down. :) But still, a lil' wee bit sad at the moment. Oh well. *shrugs* I kinda' realised that there is this one boy in Lower Form 6 that has been pretty lonely the moment he entered Form 6. Wish he could at least pull off a smile. I don't see no anybody as lonely as him in the whole of Lower 6.

Spell-check not done. Forgive any typos. To the people I've mentioned, thanks. :) Don't stop whatever you're doing pull a grin off my face.~ God bless you. To my buddies that I've not mentioned. Well, you guys are still awesome.

Gonna' go off to my real lonely little corner to pray and to hope that the friends that have been so cold to me will be my close buddies once again.

P.S: The world is full of bullshit. Nothing is really fair.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Question: Why is everybody so "SAMTAM" towards me?

2011-07-24T22:02:00.002+08:00

I don't really know what is going on lately. One thing is for sure, I've not been really close to many of my buddies. Is it me, or is it they who've totally changed? I do try to fit in, but why do I struggle to fit in? I should feel comfortable, right? Why do I struggle anyway? :/

Funnily, there's a bunch of people who treats me real nice at one moment. The next moment, it's like they do not want to have so much to do with me. What do you want from me anyway? :( I just started to feel comfortable and happy being with you guys, but what happens next? You give me the cold shoulder. It's not even a wee bit ticklish to my funny bone, not at all.

I guess it's not me alone having emotional issues. Been browsing through a few friends' blogs and HEY, most of them are just like me. I think. :( Cheer up buddies.

XOXO

=CHIcken WINGs=

NO, not you too!

2011-07-20T22:53:00.002+08:00

I seriously have no inkling of an idea when my last post was posted. But certainly, quite a number of things happened between the time period. Those events that happened during my hiatus did change me, mostly by the way I think.

The past few months (well, since last year, actually) made me lose faith in myself, lost myself. I felt that God was spending too much time on everybody else in the world, He did not have enough to spend on me. I felt that way. Yes. Not denying the fact at all. But lately, I have rediscovered His love for me. Yes, I do feel lonely sometimes, but I know He's watching and He cares. Humans are pathetic creatures that can't be trusted. You can only trust in God. I do trust my friends, but most of them let me down. I've had a few persons that I can name that have made me upset lately. Better not mention names. Or is it I, being too serious? I don't know.

And please... Don't you treat me the same way as he did to me. It sucks. A lot. Sighs.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Outcast? True.

2011-06-28T23:48:00.002+08:00

Well, I thought I was thinking too much a few days back. I thought I was just having a little depression. With my mid-term exam results, friends and a little misunderstanding with my family member, I really thought it will go away soon.

I'm feeling not any better right now. I know there are friends that are all around me. But at times when I am with them, I feel like I'm just another replacement. Replacing somebody or something, or just filling up space to keep the atmosphere in a "just nice" condition. I don't hunger for attention. I just need friends who will listen to my rants and "heart problems", not just enjoy and have fun together.

Everybody doesn't want someone who keeps complaining or is sad all the time. I'm quite annoyed with myself at times. :( If being happy is as easy as blinking an eye, then why are there so many broken souls in the world? Don't tell me to be happy. There's no logic in being happy if the problem is not solved yet.

This is what I'm thinking at the moment. God made everything perfect, flawless. He only made one mistake. He forgot to ask me whether I'd be happy living as a human. I know He hasn't forgotten me, but right now I think He's just too busy blessing other people. I guess I'll just wait for my turn.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Outcast?

2011-06-25T17:48:00.001+08:00

Well, lately, I feel like an outcast. I feel like I'm with my bunch of my friends but at the same time I don't feel like I'm with them. Odd. Sighs.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Serenity and a sound mind.

2011-06-21T23:37:00.002+08:00

Stuck in between. I don't really know how to put this down in words. It's just that I'm held tight in my current position. Not belonging anywhere but belonging to somewhere at the same time. It's like I'm being cared for, but being hated and despised at the same time. This situation is slowly making me mad...

Sometimes, I just so want someone to be really, very close to me. But I think some things cannot come true all the time. What is life then, when you can get anything your heart desires. Certainly, everybody loves to be pampered, to get anything and everything that they really want. But truthfully, how many of us can enjoy such luxuries? I do want to enjoy such treatment. Having someone to, well, you know. :(

Just my thoughts to revive my currently dormant blog. :(

=CHIcken WINGs=

Can?

2011-06-11T12:11:00.000+08:00

Can you say you love me?

Stepping out.

2011-06-06T23:00:00.002+08:00

The time spent in Kuantan gave me a little free space to think over myself and the relationships that I have with my friends.

Well, I'm not afraid to say that I am indeed childish. In fact, that's the very nature of me. I don't expect anybody to understand that. However, if I were to befriend anybody, then I'm sure they would have to give-and-take and accept whatever weaknesses that I may have... Right not?

I believe I am already a very tolerant person. Sure, I may lash out and get angry over certain things. It's just that I don't like to complain over petty things. I don't like getting called a nag. But in another manner, I don't like to keep these small petty things at heart for too long. But when I make known to people about these matters, they say I'm a nag, a hot-tempered person and the likes of it. I think it's pretty unfair that I'm branded these titles. You may be good at giving others brand names or you may play a very good quality control officer, but put yourself into my shoes and make the relevant judgments then.

Lately, I've been somewhat isolated by a few particular people who seem to be pinpointing my every single mistake and throwing accusations at yours truly, just to make me feel bad about myself. I reflected upon my actions and maybe I just chose the wrong bunch of friends. Maybe I just put too much hope into them, thinking that they may be just the right bunch of friends that I've been looking for. Like any other human beings, friends are also prone to misunderstanding you, sometimes ending up hating you altogether. I'd like to say here, I don't expect anything from any of my friends. If trust is so hard to share amongst friends, then I see no reason why we should struggle to keep the friendship intact. I may be the one (or may not) with the inflated ego, not willing to say "Sorry" or "I apologize" because if I'm wrong all the time, then the problem isn't with me, it's with you.

I've been isolated, hated and stabbed in the back numerous times. If you want to do it, go ahead. I'm still alive. So, those stuffs are a no-biggie for me. Just a post to justify my stand. You want to love me or loathe me, it's up to you. It's every man for himself. If you want to step out of friendship, go ahead. No use saving an almost dead entity. I'm stepping out soon, just let me know.

=CHIcken WINGs=

=CHIcken WINGs=

Of red bean soup and fried "meehoon".

2011-06-06T22:44:00.002+08:00

Grandma passed away just two days ago, in China. It's pretty much a waste that I did not get a chance to bid her farewell before she left for a one-way-trip to heaven. I'm sure God is already waiting at the gates of heaven with lots of good stuffs for Grandma. She's someone I'm ought to miss my whole life.

Grandma is an adopted child (Dad's info) and she was brought to a small fishing village nearby Xiamen (also Dad's info). Dad says that Grandma has excellent oyster-deshelling skills. Grandma came to Malaysia with Granddad after giving birth to my eldest aunty, who is currently residing in China, too. My "second eldest aunty" and her siblings were born here in Malaysia. Grandma was a great Mum. Well, she wasn't the best chef around (trust me, I know best. :] ) but her cooking was still edible. Well, at least Dad could grow up on Grandma's food, right? To those who know my red bean soup and meehoon story, this is it. :) I literally grew up with Grandma. I went to her house after kindergarten for nearly two years. Before that, I used to go to her house by the Klang River every morning while Mum and Dad are away for work.

I still remember clearly the days where the rain would pour so heavily and Grandma would be so accurate in determining the weather, whether it would be a mild rainfall, or a big old thunderstorm. The sight of rattan chairs hanging off the walls is something that I would really miss. And of course the mud-yellow water and Wellington boots to note. The after-the-flood-cleaning process. Oh, priceless. Grandma could earn a diploma in Meteorology without even having to sit for a practical or theory test.

Well, time and tide wait for no man. Indeed, as time passes, we age as well. Grandma had to leave as well. Fountain of Youth, like many other age-old too-good-to-be-true-gimmicks, are just plain myths. At 81-years old, my Grandma is still the best Grandma in the world. Miss you much.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Shrugs shoulder Oh well~

2011-06-01T18:05:00.002+08:00

Alaaa ada orang terasa weyh! Peh. Pigiraaaah. Kalo ko tuh bukannya nak amik berat tp se-mata2 nak jadi watak utama, x yah lah nak pepura~ lagipun ko tuh bukannya hebat sgt pun. x harap pun simpati u~ simpan jer la utk org lain.

Korang sumer tuh cam baik jer, zahirnya jer. tapi hakikatnya korang tuh pun kira hiporkrit jugak. org kita ibarat lalang dipuput bayu, ikut jer trend dgn "the in group". adalah skit jugak talam dua muka. i rasa talam infinity muka baru btul. peh.

kalo ko tak ikhlas nak berkwn, biarkan jer lah. neways, kat hidup nih, kengkawan masuk kuar cam air. i dah ukir kat otak i dah the fact that org kat dunia ni mmg x leh nak caye. cuma blh yakin kat diri sendiri jer. nak mengumpat? suka hati lo laaaaa~ i dah immune~

terasa? ish, sorry, i cant do a damn about it. ;) Suit yourself.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Update, update.

2011-05-29T10:32:00.002+08:00

Exams just released its grip on us. Finally, some peace and quiet time for me. Exam was rather simple, but of course I made careless mistakes here and there. Hey, come on, nobody said doing Form 6 was going to be as easy-peasy as Form 5, ain't i right? It doesn't really matter I guess. Just my 2 cents.

While the exams were up and running, we were busy revising and at the same time, we had to run the show for Teachers' Day. Right from the bone to the flesh of the event, we had to plan and make sure that everything falls nicely into place. Not an easy task when you have a bunch of rather slow "co-workers" doing it with you.

Planning was made more difficult with the Lower 6 being oh-so-reluctant to do anything. They had to be told to do everything. From the most minute of details right up to the very obvious things. It's very tiring. I find it doing myself still a little wee bit easier and obviously, more time-saving. Leaving those important stuffs to them really just scares the faeces out of my bottom pit. Imagine Teachers' Day all in a havoc, and we're (Upper 6) the ones that are sent to the chopping board a.k.a "kena sound" a.k.a guillotine. Not a nice feeling.

Oh the complains doesn't end there. With all the planning already in place, we (the planning committee) thought we could at least have a good day's rest on Teachers' Day , now that everything is already in place, or so we thought. The morning of Teachers' Day, I was petrified when I saw no skittles are on the tarmac, supposedly to reserve some space for the school's Scout team to march. OH FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY! And alas, we had to "sound" them juniors to make them move. *SIGHS* Headache. My nerve cells are burnt.

With all that tension in the air right up in the morning (Yeah, even Puan Ng scolded us for not letting her know we had to rearrange the sitting positions of the students, come on-lah, MANA ADA MASA =.=), IT FREAKING RAINED! WHAT?! =.= Now that really got on my nerves. GOSH. And so we had to move the students into the pint-sized hall AND we had to make space for the performance on that day. To cut the short story shorter, everything was OK, thanks to a few of us (PERASAN!). Chung Yow really did show efforts to help out, along with Soon Jin (if I spelt it right). Of course there were other Lower 6ers that are working hard, but I couldn't see their efforts at the moment. Maybe they weren't place under our "division" for the planning committee, that's why we weren't able to pinpoint the ones with potential to become leaders.

Glad Teachers' Day was over. Oh yes, I'm still a wee bit disappointed with a few friends of mine. Thankfully, I don't have to meet a few of them until the school holidays are over. Good riddance, temporarily.

I shall stop ranting. Going out for a movie and pou-ing.

Bhai, for the moment.

=CHIcken WINGs=

HM?

2011-05-26T05:24:00.002+08:00

Blogging at 5 in the morning isn't my routine at all. Oh well. Awake at this ungodly hour having to complete Teachers' Day stuff before it happens. What was I saying again? =.=

Exam being over is akin to the 7th Lunar Month of the Chinese calendar. We're set free from the 18 levels of hell, only to get locked in for another year at the end of the 7th Lunar Month. Yeah, temporary freedom for now. Once the holidays in June are over, we're going to get chained to our seats, like how they chained the Titans in Tartarus. Gosh.

Yes, at 5 a.m in the morning, I'm missing you. Sucks to the maximum. But there's some kind of invisible barrier between the both of us, don't you think. Sorry, maybe it was I that made things so complicated.

Needing some me time for now. Wouldn't want to go out so much during the holidays. Ain't no rich, can't but me stuffs to make myself happy. Ain't got no love to make me happy. I've got only facebook to make me a stalker and my bed to offer me a temporary exit from reality. Escapism? Probably.

Life goes on as usual. The usual, boring life. Hope it doesn't stay so boring, for now.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Let's take a moment to reflect upon the relaxing times I used to have. LALALA.

2011-05-16T23:25:00.003+08:00

Yeah, my ass akin to a cork stuffing a wine bottle mouth. Well, only different thing is that my ass is stuffed with exams and things that revolve around it. What more I need to say, stress is always the partner of exams. One certainly cannot exist without the other (unless it's an exam on how fast and how much you can shop in an hour, that statement would be an exception).

Needed some timeout, so I came online to babble and crap about random stuffs that happened to moi the past few days, or much rather since the last blog post. When was the last blog post posted again? Sorry for the multiple-personality disorder scenario. Doesn't happen often. Only happens during exam. Most likely I'm on the brink of losing my sanity and marbles altogether. ASYLUM SOUNDS CUTE BY THE WAY!

There's this way awesome G-SHOCK watch that blew my minds into smithereens. The awesome pink is GOD-LIKE! (if only the gods were wearing pink) and the orange tint of the watch is so ORANGE! Come on, how often do you see watches that are fashionable and tough at the same time. It's not like you see these watches like you see bird poo on your car, right? Well, the price is rather steep, for a young kid like me. BAM! Just seeing the watches makes me *AHEM* We can skip the deets.

Sis ventured into Form 6 [now that sounds wrong. Okay, she made herself slave to Form 6.] and the new batch of Lower 6 got into SMK Jinjang, too. That means... UPPER 6 HAS TEMPORARY FREEDOM FROM HAVING TO ORGANISE OH-SO-LALA EVENTS! Oh the temporary euphoria. Can you smell it?

Guess I'll stop blah-ing here. Oh by the way, I still want a DSLR! G-SHOCK. A HUMMER H3!

DUDUDUDU.

Footnote: Emoguy Jwen, you sudah start blogging again kah? RARE SIGHT! XD

=CHIcken WINGs=

Of babbling, heartache and exams.

2011-05-06T21:47:00.003+08:00

Yes, all hell is about to break lose in approximately two weeks. Who likes exams, honestly. Well, I must say that exams are somewhat fun, but they are so not chic, especially in the long run. Fancy getting eyebags a-la Louis Vuitton? Or maybe sexy panda eyes? Then the very existence of exams is made for you! Hell I'm babbling. Of course, I'm crossing my fingers so hard that they resemble the highwayman's hitch. Really want to ace the exam so badly. It's making me nerdier than before. [Not that being nerd is a sin, it's just that, well, you need some "me" time, right?]

Things haven't been exactly smooth with the one I'm falling in love with. Well, I don't really have the guts to go and confess. I still find confessing towards the one you love a very difficult thing to do. Well, it's quite easy if the other party has feelings for you to, regardless of race, height, gender or socioeconomic tier. I need to be more sane and not let this matter go around my head, taking over my neurones with lightning-fast agility. Certainly, if the heart is made the centre of all "thinking", then humans must be blind. I really need to use my head to think and stop letting my heart make crucial decisions for my future. Oh yes, I do love you, but you see, that was my heart thinking, not my brain. Maybe we weren't meant for each other. You can have my heart if you want to, but my head is telling me to stop chasing after you. Little less heart, a little more brain is what I say.

Good luck peeps [especially for the mid-term examination] who are reading my blog, especially my very close peeps. Love you to death.

=CHIcken WINGs=

All I want is just a little something more.

2011-04-28T23:16:00.002+08:00

All I want is just to be a little happier. Have a few extra things in life, at least it helps make my life a little more blissful. I just want to have a nice decent MP3 player to use while I'm exercising. Or maybe a DSLR camera. I want to change my phone, too. The phone battery is going a little bonkers. I wouldn't want the battery to burst in my ears one day. :( I also want someone to really understand who I am. Accept who I really am. I believe I already have friends who understand me...

I'm looking for more than a friend, frankly speaking. Is that even wrong? Those who know me well by now would know what I'm trying to say here. Life's short. I just want to love those people I care for. So what if it's only a day? So what if I'm going to hear them say "I love you" for only once in my lifetime? The only thing is that I keep holding on to things that may never ever come true. I'm holding on to a non-existent entity.

Truly, on the journey of self-discovery, I have lost myself. I try to fit in to what I'm expected to be. To be what people think I should be. The burden of setting the bar high so that my siblings will work to achieve that certain standard. I'm exhausted. I lost myself in the sea of so many different identities. Who am I now? I don't know. Zombie?

Life's a b*tch, deal with it.

=CHIcken WINGs=

I waited.

2011-04-16T23:47:00.002+08:00

I cried before I slept on the 14th night. It wasn't because my birthday celebration was a dull one. I had good time with my friends. Mum brought us out for a nice dinner.

Somebody who I really care for said something that made me sad. It hurt me.

That's my birthday celebration this year alright.

Today is already the 16th. Somebody broke my heart, again. I waited. I got no reply.

Was I just another instrument for somebody to use?

:(

=CHIcken WINGs=

200th post: It's never easy to say that you love me.

2011-04-13T18:55:00.002+08:00

This is my 200th post ever since I started blogging in Form 4. Time really does glide and fly like gulls. Certainly, the age-old saying that time and tide waits for no man is true...

That's pretty depressing actually. I feel like I'm getting old. No offense to those who are much older than me. I feel mentally old, not physically. I start thinking that the world isn't so friendly and loving after all. I thought people would love each other. Perhaps I was too naive back then, when I was just another stupid kid down the road.

Studies and school has been on the ups and downs lately. I have to say that the feeling of betrayal no longer have any effect on me. I've been made numb to the feelings of betrayal. Probably because betrayal does not feel as bad as the feeling of rejection. Nobody wants their love to be rejected. But if it was that easy to fall in love, would there be Romeo and Juliet in the first place. :(

It's the 14th tomorrow. I'm depressed. It's most likely going to be just another day. But deep down in my heart, I still love you very much. My heart is now sore and wounded from rejection. So what? I'm human like anybody else.

'nuff said.

=CHIcken WINGs=

What the hell my MUET Writing homework. Lazy update. Next update on Sunday I hope.

2011-04-09T01:11:00.002+08:00

Cases of violence against women have been on the rise lately. Violence against women is generally defined as an action of abuse towards women. This form of abuse can be in the form of physical abuse and also emotional abuse. What is the cause for the increase of cases of violence against women? Is it because of women themselves? Or is it because of several other factors that have caused this increase? Certainly, a detailed analysis has to be made from various perspectives in order to seek out the root to this menace.

Firstly, the government should be held responsible. Even though there may be laws and acts enacted to protect the rights of women, they have not been properly enforced. Perpetrators of crimes against women such as rapists can easily get away with their wrongdoings. This happens because the authority does not take these cases seriously. Sometimes, a typical rape case involving a woman will take several months, sometimes years, to solve. By the time there are enough evidence against the criminal, the woman that was raped my have committed suicide or may have went into a depression due to the fact that she may no longer be able to stand in the crowd as an innocent and “clean” person. Furthermore, investigations do not encompass a wide range of cases of violence against women. For example, if a husband were to scold and hurl harsh words at his wife everyday, which is a form of emotional abuse, would the authorities be able to prosecute the husband? Certainly not, as there are no laws allowing the authorities to do so. These loopholes in the laws should be covered up by amending the current laws so that they can be more relevant to the society today.

On the other hand, the mass media is also to be blamed, especially the television and movies. The television programmes aired on the idiot box nowadays promote violence against women by showing scenes of women being tortured physically and mentally. This goes the same for the movies. Some shows such as CSI show gory screenshots of women being tortured in many different ways. Of course, these shows have no intention of emphasising acts of violence against women. However, the emotions of the viewers would be stirred if they happen to watch these shows or movies. By doing so, the subconscious mind would influence their thinking and rationale. In this case, the age-old adage “what you eat is what you are” holds true, although with a different twist to it. So, what you watch on television may also turn out to be what you are. Some serial rapists, molesters and even wife-abusers learn all the “tricks and tips” on how to take advantage of women from these shows and movies. In the end, that is what have become of them. It is therefore very important that shows and movies that are to be made available to the public should be properly screened by the authorities. Scenes involving violence against women should be censored completely and without any compromise.

Sometimes, acts of violence happen to women because they lack the courage and knowledge to stand for their rights. Many cases of abuse against women have been swept under carpet. Rather than to make a stand for their rights, women tend to keep a hush-hush on these matters and they hope that time will one day solve all their problems. Such method of handling violence against women will not help in stopping people from abusing women. For example, some parents of female rape victims would just dismiss rape incidents because they would not want their daughter to become the talk of the society. As Asians, many parents tend to have this mentality, too. This halts any further actions to be taken onto the criminals by the authority. Then, these criminals are free to continue to commit crimes of all sorts against women. There, women should take one leap of faith and take fate in their own hands. Report any cases of abuse against women to the authorities and never compromise your rights.

Weighing the logic of the reasons given, it is therefore not the problem of women that violence against women occurs. Yes, women may have weak points, as they are created naturally to be gentle creatures. The society should learn how to treat women with dignity and respect, rather than to treat them like second-class genders. At this point, much more can be done by the government and also private institutions to help stop this problem of violence against women once and for all. Only then, Vision 2020’s goal to create a healthy and loving society can be fully realized.

Geram.

2011-04-01T21:57:00.000+08:00

Geram nak mampus. FML.

NA! Post dalam BM! Amik ko!

2011-03-28T22:40:00.003+08:00

Kebelakangan nih kan, bebudak dalam kelas aq kan semua cam kena sampuk. Tak pasal-pasal merapu pastu cakap benda-benda yang langsung x masuk akal. Takpelah kalo korang cakap benda yg at least logik sikit lakan, yg nih pagi sampei lepas skolah cakap benda yg bukan jer menyampah, tapi main cakap jer tak henti2. wei, org x minat nak dengar sampah u lah! DIAM LAH SIAL.

Pastu kan, adalah dlm kelas i kan org yg pandai jer omong kosong pastu nak habuan byk byk. Pastu kan, nak sgt org bagi dia ni lah, tu lah. tapi bila dia tu ada benda yg syiok kan, sumernya simpan menyendiri jer. kedekut nak mampus. biler ko gi memana, gi sendiri jer. pastu ko tak bagitau kitorang ko go jalan2 dgn kengkawan yg lain. tapi biler kami "lupa" nak ajak ko, ko melenting pulak. weyh, apa hak ko untuk marah? jgn bullcrap lah hello. biler i yg melenting dgn mengamuk, ko terus mampus tau? MAMPUS. biler org nak baik dgn ko, ko jgn la amik peluang untuk eksplotasi org. ko tuh bukannya best, hebat ke handsome pun. kalo cermin ada untuk u pandang kan, cermin tuh terus pecah to tak? sbab ko tuh hodoh sgt. ada pahammmm?????????

This post is dedicated to the very illogical and nonsensical people that I know. NA! I specified ILLOGICAL AND NONSENSICAL. Read properly, can?

=CHIcken WINGs=

NA!

2011-03-26T18:11:00.002+08:00

As you may have noticed by now, the title of this blog post has been changed to NA! instead of the previous "Oh...". It brings significant meaning. Did I say significant? Perhaps I did.

Well, firstly, let me define what is NA! from my perspective. The word NA! means the action of showing a middle finger with anger or annoyance. Well, I use NA! not because I'm angry, but for the purpose of releasing tension. But to some of the people I know out there, NA! Don't mess with me.

Well, yes it's NA! for these bunch of people. I don't isolate people blindly. I isolate myself from some people because I find these group of people an unpleasant bunch. How unpleasant? They don't practise what they preach. They go bossing people around, telling them what to do. When it comes to them, they do something which is the total opposite of whatever they've mentioned earlier. This is a total outrage! This word is a rather harsh word to use, but NA! to you, YOU BUNCH OF FREAKING HYPOCRITES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *lifts up the magic finger*

Lately, life has been pretty hectic. Yes, it really wears me out, makes me emotionally tired, physically lethargic and sometimes spiritually empty and deprived. But I'm thankful God has kept me alive and strong until today. Yes, I did fall sick, but He gave me the strength to keep fighting. I'm not dead yet and you bunch of morons ain't slowing me down. Of course, I did find out who were the bunch of friends who really cares for me. Some claim they really care for me. Honestly, tell me, how much do you know of me to even claim that you REALLY care for me. Sorry to say, most of you don't understand me at all. Sadly, some of them go around backstabbing others. I'm not the only victim, some of my other friends are, too. Well, I may be aggressive and foul-mouthed at times, but I'm not as disgusting as you bunch of ball-less cowards who go around spreading harsh rumours about others. Go get some balls you! XD

I'm also pretty happy I'm given a chance to make new friends. YES! BRANDON! YOU! XD Brandon is a nice person. :) This paragraph is for you! XD Study hard. I wish you well in whatever course you are going to undertake. I will be always praying for you, hoping that God has His favour and love upon you. Nothing is always bad. Sometimes, blessings take the form of what we may call a "curse". Don't look back, go forward. By the way, I miss you a lot, even thought I've known you for only such a short time. :)

Yes, I'm still single. I still love that person a lot. I can't let go. Oh well. =(

=CHIcken WINGs=

Wants. Oh well. Failed pictures by the way. Not properly aligned.

2011-03-15T00:00:00.003+08:00

I want this camera

I want this bag T~T

I want this watch T~T

SIGHS.

=CHIcken WINGs=

LIFTS UP MAGIC FINGER

2011-03-09T23:38:00.002+08:00

This week has been lousy for many people. (Hell, why do I always blog when there are bad things going on? FML. IDK.) Everybody wishes that the week will be smooth sailing. Free of pain. Free of annoyance. All those things that people wish for are what they can continue to dream for. Go ride a merry-go-round on the clouds for all I care.

All the opposite is what we got. Don't hope. Make stuff work. Personally, I was upset with many things this week. Probably because I'm having too much stress. I'm not a good stress manager perhaps. Or maybe, just maybe, some people around me should reevaluate themselves before they go around judging others. Heck, if you're so good and immaculate, you'd be a demi-god already, or you may even consider yourself a god already. I say, BLASPHEMY. Get a mirror, people.

Let me get started on the deets. Well, little and petty annoying stuff can amount up to a big and major problem. There's this person in class which I totally oppose right now. Whether HE knows it or not, it doesn't really bother me much. If he wants a fight, I can give him one. I'm born a fighter, live and die as one too. OK. So this fella' has done stuff that makes people dislike him. Maybe it's because he's ignorant. Is it so? I say, maybe he's just too self-centred. I never knew the Universe revolved around a human being up until now. Guess I failed my astronomy, physics, general knowledge and possibly biology.

Can't elaborate too much on my personal space here. I'm afraid some sensitive prick would feel that I'm in the wrong for doing so. You say I'm too aggressive. Let me say to you this: I'm not aggressive. I call this my personal defence mechanism. Live with it. Offended? Go ask Mummy buy you a candy to cheer you up. And oh, endorphines work well with boosting happiness. Or maybe you want an apology from me. Eat my middle finger.

As I said, don't expect an apology from me. I may regret what I've said. But then again, to regret is to waste time. So I wouldn't bother much about regret. So to you and you who think you're a mother-load of super-skilled dudes, think again. The stench of your very ego will one day be the very cause of your downfall. Oh wait, did I say downfall? You never went higher up in the society in the first place. Sorry. I retract my statement.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Is it wrong?

2011-02-19T18:55:00.002+08:00

The past year and this year have really taken a toll on my emotions. Never felt so emotionally challenged before. Really.

Last year was a total mess of emotions. First it was all-the-way high and then it fell to below rock-bottom. It's really mad.

Happiness, is what I thought I would get if I did well in my SPM. Yes, I was happy. But the feelings were temporary. They did not stay and linger long enough until I was no longer around. Something had to fill this void in the nook of my heart. An empty space that only God can fill. Yes, I thought God left me. In actual fact, I failed Him. Somehow, somewhere, I stumbled and I guess I did not get back on my feet. Yes, I'm still lost, blind to His presence. But I know He's still holding my hands, only that I'm so stupid and ignorant not to know it. I'm stupid, don't you think?

Then it was Form 6. Form 6 it was for me. Bunch of nice friends. Awesome friends. They made me redefine the term 'friend' altogether. They gave me a sense of belonging that I did not really have when I was with the friends I used to have in SMKSB. No, I'm not lashing out at my friends from SMKSB, it is just that this bunch of friends are so much more loving and caring. I really did not regret doing Form 6 at all I must say. I met friends. Fallen in love with people in SMK Jinjang, too. It is an experience I would miss out if I were to receive JPA Scholarship.

Speaking about love... I'm a total mess in it right now. MESS. Wen told me that someone likes me. Fish told me that someone else likes me. I'm liking somebody else. It kind of sucks when the person you like will never fall for you. Sucks big time. But I guess life is like this. You will never get what you want all the time.

If I cannot get love, I want to have a DSLR. DSLR CAMERA. As if I would get it. Would want to have a new handphone. I want to score a 4-flat for my STPM. I want to own a Hummer H3. I'm freaking greedy. Do I care? No. Yeah.

Today, two small stuffs made me grin. :) Would still grin if I think about it. :) Firstly, when Wen told me that someone likes me ( I hope I'm not being perasan, but it's so cute!) I couldn't help but to smile. Really. The second thing happened when I was taking a train ride back from Kuala Lumpur KTM station. Well, was taking a ride on the train with Fish. There's this guy with a McDonald plastic bag standing at Fish's back (not literally) and he kept smiling at Fish and I. Not those perverted smile you get from perverts, but it's more of "the-smile-that-a-shy-kid-gives-to-you" smile. He kept stealing glances and kept smiling. Shy fella'. How often is it that you see a shy teenager smiling like a small kid? Ain't that cute. Makes you just want to smile. And at least that was a heart-melting smile. I sound like I'm all so homo. Do I care? No. ;)

I'm happy now I can smile, even if it's just for today. It is just... Magical? :)

XOXO

=CHIcken WINGs=

If only it was that simple.

2011-02-12T07:18:00.002+08:00

Yes, if only it was that simple. My friend urged for me to confess my feelings to the one that I'm in, well, in love with. That, later.

Been busy for the past 2 weeks or so. Finished my monthly exams in school, got rather lousy results. It wasn't as good as expected. Damn. Gotta' buck up or not I'm going to fail miserably in the real deal. *sighs*

Chinese New Year came right after that. This year's Chinese New Year was pretty fun, knowing the fact that most of my cousins made it back to Kuantan for an awesome get-together time. Truly wished I could just go on spending my time so slowly and in a relaxed manner. Dream on, as people would say. FML.

Did pretty many silly stuffs in Kuantan, check my facebook profile for the pictures. Watched sunrise, laughed over a cup of Milo until I'm all nuts (please take note that I wasn't even sane at all in the first place) and pretty much other weird stuffs. I slept so long until I had a migraine for the whole day. =.= It wasn't the beer, really. =.=~

Came back to school after CNY. Practice for 1Malaysia event went on as usual. Great stuff. Of course it wasn't the best, but it was quite good because we didn't really had all the time in the world to go about it. Every single member of the class were also clad in awesome traditional costumes, which is a pretty rare sight. Puan Chen even allowed our class to wear traditional costumes during any other racial integration events celebrated in our school.

Really wished that the person that's dear to my heart, the one I'm very in love with, to just give me some reaction. But I guess I'm just hoping for too much and that love isn't something you can force. I hate me. I guess.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Happy?

2011-01-29T23:13:00.002+08:00

Today. Yes, today. It has made this year a little more meaningful. Did not had a great time at all ever since the month of December the past year. A few incidents happened to day that made it all the more lovely. One particular incident really put the smile back to where it was supposed to be. I'm dumbstruck, but I think it's... Well... I don't know.

Just finished my exams. And schooling is tough. Very tough. I officially have eyebags and I intend to go for plastic surgery. Not really. FMEyebags. :)

I still wonder if anybody still reads blogs belonging to their friends or peers. If there are, am glad that my blog isn't left unknown, doomed to rot in the digital cemetery for eternity. That's of utmost terror! Well, I'm sure there's a minority out there who's still into blog-reading and of course enjoy the age-old hobby of reading biographies, blog posts and journal entries. That's just a much nicer way to mask the intention of saying that you're a nosy person. Oh well. Everybody has noses. You're forced to have one, like it or not. :)

Oh, one very silly yet fun thing that I've that in the past week was taking part in a calligraphy competition organised by SMK Jinjang's Chinese Society. Well, I have not got an inkling of how to write Chinese characters with Chinese brush. Heck, I can't even hold a Chinese brush in the correct way. But it was all the more fun when my buddies took part in the competition too. It was just for fun's sake. What's more mind-blowing is that even Jega took part in the competition. Mind you, Jega is an Indian student and he is someone who doesn't have to know Chinese to survive. Yet, he took part in the competition along with the madcaps from my class. Cheers to Jega and all the 6SA (2011 batch) students. XOXO

Am I overblabbering? See if I care. :)

XO

=CHIcken WINGs=

Maybe it's just me.

2011-01-19T22:13:00.002+08:00

"We" was never a word that I can use with you. It will always be "you" and "me" only.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm asking for too much.

Is it my choice to be like this? I don't know. It just happened.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Untitled.

2011-01-17T15:51:00.001+08:00

I won't deny the fact that I really love you. But it's all impossible. I'm stupid. But I'm happy I'm stupid for a good reason.

CHIcken WINGs

When there isn't any other options, you just have to make another option yourself.

2010-12-28T22:48:00.002+08:00

Oh, I've been dead from blogging for quite a while now. Boredom has the power to drive people to blog. Odd? I say no.

Life has been boring for me, if not down. Holidays weren't as fun as they used to be, but then again, being in Form 6 requires you to sacrifice some stuff. It's a choice you have to make. Oh well.

Did pretty well for my finals. Being somewhat a perfectionist, I didn't think I did pretty good. Yes, everybody wants that coveted 4-flat CGPA. Getting there is no easy feat, I must say. This means I've got to let go of a lot of things and use my free time solely for studying. Oh, does that sound awesomely pathetic.

Oh, I was supposed to go to Japan earlier this month, right after Sis finishes her SPM examination. To my horror, the trip was cancelled. Yup, cancelled. The boss of the travel agency was a cheat. Liar. In fact, he managed to cheat about RM 300000 from just one particular tour group to Europe. Awesome money! Don't learn from these two lousy bosses. Both of them were caught by the police when the police report was made by a few dissatisfied customers of the group going to Europe. Hope he had a fun time sitting in jail. Oh, he was bailed out of jail 2 weeks later, if I didn't mention earlier on.

As for the person I'm currently having a crush on. Oh, you just have to make the decision to open up. If you don't, then you're just choosing to imprison yourself in loneliness. 'nuff said.

XO

=CHIcken WINGs=

Hm...

2010-12-11T22:59:00.002+08:00

Feeling so awesome after the dance practice for Christmas. It's this time of the year again. No, I don't really feel oh-so-high about this occasion. The only significance is the birth of Jesus, the Saviour of Mankind into the world. And as it is, the true birth date of Jesus is, as approximated by scientists, more specifically, astrophysicists, to be in the month of April.

So, what is Christmas, truly? As we grow older, simple things can become the mother-of-all questions. When I was a kid, Christmas was all about spending time with my loved ones, gifts and nice, cosy dinners. As time goes by, I realise that bonding time with my loved ones became more important and significant. I realise I wanted to fall in love, besides having my family and friends... This year has been pretty harsh for me, especially in what people call "love life".

Yes, I've been trying to get over this crush I'm in love with. Impossible. Not only with me. Come on, you know it. :D I've told my buddies that are in the same situation with me. Sometimes, there are moments in life where you have to let go and move on with your life. Love doesn't mean that you have to earn that person's love. If you can love the person, then let him or her live happily. Don't burden him / her, if you want to see them happy. Hell, I'm in this situation and I sound like some love-guru. WaTF.

That aside. This Christmas, all I want is just to spend time with those I care for. Just tell me you love me and how much you care for me. I'll be satisfied with that right up until the March of year 2011. Kidding. A pink G-SHOCK will make me happy. Purple vinyl jacket? Black rose ring made out of black perspex only. Hm. Aviators with yellow frame. Er, multi-coloured sneakers? Oh, that's too much.

Oh well, blah-blah too much. Wanna' see me dance? SMS me if you wanna' come to my church. XOXO

=CHIcken WINGs=

I wish. Hm.

2010-11-28T15:44:00.002+08:00

Yes, I wish it was me. But then, it doesn't matter to me anymore. If things were meant to be good, it would turn out good.

I'm a little lost. But it's okay. I have buddies, family members and God to tell me that all is alright, and the sun will still rise and set like it always did. Nothing is too hard, nor nothing is too easy. Life is just all about ups, downs, love and most importantly living your life like you mean it. If you live your life happily, I believe God will be most delighted being, to enjoy seeing His creation be in such euphoria.

Right now, I have to be a little serious. Heart's a little sad, emotions spinning out of control. Hm.

Loves.

It's still incomplete without you.

=CHIcken WINGs=

PFFT.

2010-11-23T00:56:00.003+08:00

I'm so really happy today. :) Well, initially. Someone said to me that I'm the greatest gift ever. :) AWW, how sweet could that be? Well, at least that made my day all the more meaningful.

:) At least I had a reason to smile until the day ended. Well, it didn't turn out that way. :(

Someone chose something else over me. Pretty heartbreaking. No, I'm not seeking out attention. I'm not an attention freak. I'm just a person with my own style and creativity. Maybe we're from different worlds. I still do like you, but I think I should like you a little less. :'( It's not even an organic life-form. Oh well, sometimes I'm worth much less than material things, I guess. Whatever. Eyes are calling me to slumberland, while my heart keeps telling my "STAY AWAKE", because I'm a little too hurt to even sleep.

Nights, to the world. Have a good day tomorrow peeps, I hope.

=CHICken WINGs=

Shock value.

2010-11-19T23:39:00.002+08:00

I'm dumbstruck. Really. I'm pretty lost. At one moment, I get warm and close responses from AHEM. The next moment, it's like my whole connection to you is just cut off like that. Like, SNAP! No more. Please, it's killing me. It's not even a wee bit nice.

But then. Ah. Whatever. Shocking to me really. I've never been so lost in my life before. I never had problems like this before. Now, my health isn't doing me good, studies isn't really all that good. And love, is painful. =.=

Whatever-lah. Having a bunch of super-loving friends helps alleviate the pain a little. I'd love to name my buddies, but better not. :(

XoXo

=CHIcken WINGs=

Few things.

2010-11-18T20:39:00.002+08:00

Sad things. Yeah. They happened. I am upset. I hope you're not really doing this to me. :(

And there are a few tiny stuffs to make it a little less painful. :)

Should I be happy? No.

Appreciative? Yes.

=CHIcken WINGs=

I'm going to miss you.

2010-11-12T18:07:00.003+08:00

The two months holidays are coming. I enjoy seeing you everyday in school, but I'm not brave enough to approach you. Am not ready to confess. And even if I do confess, we being together might not be possible...

But I really do have feelings for you. Will you open up your heart for me? :(

This is my song dedication to you, just to kill the agonizing pain of not seeing your smile for two months.

='(

=CHIcken WINGs=

Maybe, just maybe.

2010-11-09T17:36:00.003+08:00

Yeah, just maybe.

I'm too greedy. Am I asking for too much? Unfortunately, I do think so. :( Why am I always wrong?

I should lock myself up in an asylum then. What's the point of me surviving like this?

=CHIcken WINGs=

Bad Dreams.

2010-11-07T09:05:00.001+08:00

Awakened by a bad dream.

I thought I lost you.

Fear.

Thank God it was only a dream.

Losing you, an unbearable thought.

Everything is still OK.

Don't leave too soon, alright?

......... *sobs*

=CHIcken WINGs=

One chance wouldn't hurt, won't it?

2010-11-05T01:00:00.003+08:00

We talked. I tried. You didn't notice. I guess one shot was not enough. Should I try again?

=(

Oh well. Doesn't change how I feel towards you.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Untitled #7

2010-10-31T17:47:00.003+08:00

I'm getting really lazy at thinking for catchy blog titles. Not that it helps capture a lot of attention. BLAH. I'm sick. Like literally sick. Sore throat, coupled with runny nose, back ache and a little headache. Making me feel so light-headed right now. T^T

Updating blog to kill time, and also to update a little about my findings over the past two weeks.

Exams have come and gone. Finals wasn't that horrifying. It wasn't that brain-friendly too. Was albeit tough with a tinge of fun, I'd say. But anyways, really hoping for the best for my results, at least give me an A for my Chemistry. IT'S MY FAVOURITE SUBJECT! Maths was easier than I thought it wouldn't be. Frankly speaking, the notion of sitting for General Paper and Mathematics exam would scare the crap outta' me. Not because I can't do it, I just can't put a finger on what I'm trying to do! =.= Talk about being completely lost yet so in control of what you're doing. PFFT.

Missing that *ahem* eventhough I get to see *ahem* everyday... Short to say, love isn't going to work if it's a "tepuk sebelah tangan" thing. Even a moth knows this. :( FML when it comes to love life...

Am really grateful to know that God has placed great people in my life. And yes, people do come in and out of my life. Those who leave were meant to leave, and those who came in and stayed, were meant to be always with me. My presence in SMK Jinjang was also by divine appointment. I didn't get in there by chance. And the people I have met there, the things that happened there, were also of God working, not mere karma.

And by the way, a special paragraph dedicated to Josh. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Be the sweet fella' you'll always be, and God bless You in your undertakings. Study hard, play hard and may He bless you with a partner real soon. ;) XOXO

What else? More classes and catching-up with homework? FML

Hugs and kisses for my readers. ;)

=CHIcken WINGs=

Untitled #6

2010-10-18T23:20:00.003+08:00

*wipes digital dust off blog*

How long has it been since I last updated my blog? 10 days? 10 days in digital time is like eons in humans years. Time for another update.

Anything that stood out the past few weeks? Well, TOUCH Camp 2010? May not be able to attend it. Bummer. BUMMER. *shrilling scream* Yes, thanks a lot, extra classes, you make me stupid. :(

And well, became closer to some friends, while made distant a few that weren't totally friendly or those who are taking friendships for granted. Friendship is a mutual thing, not a one-way thing, so if I dump you, means we are of different frequencies. Yeah. I'm not changing myself to fit yours, and you don't have to change to fit my frequency. It won't work out anyway. ;)

And during small, tiny periods of "downness", I've found who my true buddies were. You know who you guys are, no mentioning names. Might invoke jealousy. ;) But I really love you guys. And I mean it. :D

Love life, still a one-way communication. Or more of a "I-have-a-crush-on..." thing. Ala "tepuk sebelah tangan" as people would say. And yes, if I can make a wish, I just want to be with you. :( Miss J much.

BLAH. Anyways, life goes on as usual. Finals coming up. Talk about mad-exam rush, ain't no going to help make me any more sane. =.=

LOVES. BIG HUGS.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Hm. Trickery?

2010-10-08T23:54:00.001+08:00

Gosh. What are you thinking, actually? I hate extended suspense. :(

Jin Wen. Sorry. :( Was tad moody a few days ago. Wasn't anything to do with you. Just some other things made me unhappy. Smile okay?

:)

=CHIcken WINGs=

Updates. Updates. Who doesn't love them?

2010-10-02T23:51:00.002+08:00

Yeah. Some short updates about life...

Let's start from today shall we?

Hmmm. Started off the day ( 2nd of October 2010 ) rather moody. I've been pretty moody the past two weeks. I'm not sure what's the reason. Wait I'm sure of what's the reason, but I'm not really taking action to tackle the problem, or as in what people would say, nip the problem in the bud. But sorry, I don't do botany nor gardening. FML I say.

Mathematics is a pile of bullcrap. Bear that thought in mind, wherever you may go. It's pretty interesting, but how often do you use it in your daily life? Does it take rocket science to just peel a bulb of garlic. I think not. :)

The past week was pretty lukewarm. A couple of ups and downs. None of which is big enough to cause me to go all euphoria nor depressed. Hell yeah I'm more depressed than I'm happy now.

Couple of friends have been asking me about weird questions, like "Who do you like?", "Complicated relationship status? WHO?" and questions that sound oh-so-the-same in that category. Yeah refer to my current relationship status in facebook just to be sure. That's if you added me. :)

Well, let me briefly describe what's going on. Well, I suppose that this is what IS really going on. Well, I'm currently having a crush on somebody. [OH YEAH, YOU READ RIGHT! So move on] And... This is really one of the reason I'm being moody and down-in-the-not-so-dumps. The person that I'm having a crush on isn't really giving me responses. In fact, all I got were cold shoulders. Coupled along with some one-two word replies. I say. OUCH.....

And there's another thing. I guess two girls have a crush on me. HUH?! ME? I'm not that attractive at all. I'm so annoying I can make the Earth spin out of axis. Me? Oh you got to be making October Fool's pranks on me. I didn't assume at all. That's what my friend told me. But anyways, those two girls are cute. :) Any guy would melt, well maybe not literally, when they smile. :) But. I don't know. Wait for crush to respond. Go ahead tackling one of the girls. Study? Only God knows what's good for me.

All I want now is for my heartache to go far, far away and my lost brain cells to come back to me. I'm dying when it comes to studies. Give me an oxygen tank for my birthday next year. DROWNING. =X

=( My brain tells me to let go, but my heart is locked onto you. KEYS! WHERE THOU ART GONE?

=CHIcken WINGs=

UH-OH!

2010-09-19T23:58:00.002+08:00

Blogging about this soon? OMG I'm falling in love again? :( DISLIKE!

UPDATED VERSION.

Nothing much to say. :D

Celebrated Mid-Autumn Festival with my classmates not too long ago. Last Tuesday, perhaps? :D Best one ever! Love you guys, A LOT! XOXO

And, I'm falling in love. Again. Yuckie. *rolls eyes*

Would love to post more, but the rain isn't doing good to me. URGH. Needless to say, I love my friends, family and *AHEM~ :D* a lot. :)

XOXO

=CHIcken WINGs=

Youth Camp: TOUCH Camp 2010 Logo prototype.

2010-09-17T22:49:00.002+08:00

Camp logo prototype. Everybody, join this year's TOUCH Camp for a time of fun with God and friends. See you there? :)

Sorry. Epic case of "Diluah mati bapa, ditelan mati ibu."

2010-09-16T16:50:00.002+08:00

An update to calm my emotions a little.

School's having a two-weeks break for Hari Raya. Ah, some space to breathe. Well, that's what I thought. And yes, then comes something called holiday assignments. Oh great, there goes the break. And yes, there was a bunch of homework splashed upon us, as if homework were a blessing to us. Blessing in disguise, I hope.

Ah, there is one thing that's still troubling my deepest emotions. Well, it isn't that bad, but for one as emotional as me, it stirs my emotions mad. Should I say insecurity? Perhaps.

This incident went on like this:

On Tuesday [14th September 2010], I went for lunch with Wai Yan, Evon and Josh. Well, all things were fine. Yes, very fine up until the moment when I blurted a stupid statement. "How would I know if Josh ever dated before?". Yes, as harmful as the statement may sound, it made the conversation a hell lot more awkward. Well, this is an insider thing that I shouldn't divulge freely out to the public... But I just want to apologize because I didn't know much about the past of my buddies in SMK Jinjang, much because of the fact that I'm new there. Many secrets were kept in vaults that I could not access yet. The whole fact that Wai Yan told me yesterday [15th September 2010] made it all clear to me...

Evon, sorry-lah okay? Can't tell you every single thing because... There's this Malay proverb that goes, "Diluah mati bapa, ditelan mati ibu". I should shut up so I wouldn't ruin any relationship.

And Josh. Sorry too-lah. Forgive my ignorance...

And I think I should just shut my mouth and play statuette. No point talking so much already. Could hurt many more hearts, thanks to my ignorance.

Yes, we cannot avoid the fact that we do hurt the feelings of others sometimes, but these people are to dear to me, I can't bear the thought of even making them sad. Ouch I'd say...

I could use some hard liquor right now. =(

*sighs*

I think I should sign off. For now. Love you peeps.

=CHIcken WINGs=

I'M LOADED! With homework...

2010-09-04T23:20:00.002+08:00

WOOTS! Holidays just knocked on my door this morning. HELLO YOU! Yes, finally the holidays have arrived! Well, it was all good until the second the teacher goes, "OKAY! This period of two weeks means homework for you all!" And that means 10 General Paper essays to complete. Coupled along with oh-so-fabulous Mathematics questions to complete. Oh, high-school, high-school.

PHEW. The past few weeks have been like a mad rat-race. Assignments to complete, projects to think of and experiments to carry out. PHEW! Biology experiments are especially tiring and annoying. When do you get to see students clad completely in white, going around the school compound to collect MOSS. Yes, moss. Funny I say! ;D Well, it was all in the name of science and FUN!!!

Mathematics hasn't been really friendly to my brain. In fact, most of the I have learnt so far, I don't really know how to apply it in real life! Like, who uses sigma notation in daily life? Well, not yet for me of course. URGH. Maths is a killer! :D

Love life has been dull. :O Met a few nice people. Nice enough to ERRR. Well. Nice enough to go on a date and to date with. But, alas, I'm not ready for it. IT'S TOO COMPLICATED! :D *shoots himself with a Magnum*

I SICKED MYSELF. Don't know why. Sickly season for many I guess. Weather hasn't been great altogether. Hot one moment, cold and wet the next. *rolls eyes*

LOTSA LOVES!

=CHIcken WINGs=

Talk about Mad Hatter.

2010-08-26T23:43:00.002+08:00

It's about time school cut down on insanity, especially when students are in the school compound. It makes you wanna' go nuts and start a rampage, first with destroying teachers' car tyres, devouring the exhaust pipes like fries and eating the windshield as if you're crunching on ice. Urgh...

Yes, the pile of homework is as numerous as the number of bacteria on the legs of a cockroach. Yeah, "EEEEWWW" you may go, but that's the way it is. URGH. :D But at least friends and some support from m family members alleviate the stress, at least a little.

Things are starting to get busy. Who in the whole quasar would know that I would be picked as club treasurer. Yeah, WTF I say. *giggles* I can't even remember accounts. I think. Co-curricular activities getting busy, too. Lessons in class complement the already-mounting stress that we face. Ah, euphoria I say. ;)

An what's with so many a-la schizophrenic teachers in school?! GOSH, they freak me out. Makes my butt go out of alignment. *rolls eyes* Ah, the sound and sight of high-school, who could resist the joy it gives us. *self-slaps*

There's still cuties out there waiting to be approached. Should I try? At least for once? *Conscience speaks: Wing, you damn gatal punya budak!*

OOOH, love you readers so much. ;)

=CHIcken WINGs=

AGES and AGES ago. :)

2010-08-13T22:22:00.002+08:00

Yesh, I haven't been blogging for ages. Heck, lots of people haven't been touching their blog pages in ages. What in cotton candy's sake are they doing anyways?

Ha, my life has been in an up and down recently. Hmm. Yeah. But life is still awesome as usual. Today's Christian Fellowship club meeting was mind-stimulating. It made me a little happier.

Losing my writing skills. Need to regain those over-the-top hyperbole writing style. Help me will you? *LOVES*

CHIcken WINGs

Online Blog Death. OBD. :D

2010-07-23T22:26:00.002+08:00

My blog has been dead for almost two weeks on end. SO DEAD. TEEHEE. Yeah. Didn't have much motivation to write anything at all. Mostly because school has been so tiring and stressful. And nothing interesting has happened, much.

Pfft. I'm trying to study real hard, but nothing's helping a lot. SELF-STUDY is so tiring. Braindead. :D

To those of you who have been with me when I was a little down for these two weeks, LOVE YOU PEOPLE! [Nate especially! :)]

LALALALA~

=CHIcken WINGs=

TEEEHEEE!

2010-07-18T23:50:00.003+08:00

As I have said, I will edit this post! :D

Well, two weeks ago, something very hilarious happened. A fellow said he forgives my sister and I. Well, the thing is, he was the one who was in the wrong. I was so totally stunned by that statement. Stunned because it was too funny! I mean, he was so PERASAN. Like come on, don't you have a mirror at home? The smirk on your face is so like the plastic wrapper of my tissue packet, which I throw into the dustbin once I'm done with it.

Sad case for him 'cause he's such a desperado. Pity, pity, pity. *TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK* It doesn't matter if you wanna' bad-mouth any of us. It doesn't work at all. And it's a pity for those who trusts in you just because of your pathetic Grammy-award wannabe whines and gestures. That is so fag. Get a life. TEEHEE! Seriously, that fellow lacks a mirror at home. He doesn't even know how PERASAN he is. Well, to those of you who know my sister and I, this would be the funniest story of the year! :D

Well, he's got a lot of lameness to get rid off. He's so lame he can make a lame person runaway. LALALALA~ You may need crutches, too. *hands over crutches* *cringes in pain because of the "lame" aura surrounding him*

Oooh, go get yourself some lalafication and stop thinking the world revolves around you. If it did, it would spin out of orbit. *shrieks!*

LALALALA. I empathise with your situation. :)

+CHIcken WINGs+

Attempted. Phail. Trying again.

2010-07-10T01:06:00.003+08:00

First try was a failure. PHAILED. Was quite a whammy for me. Why you had to go just like that? It's pretty unfair, but I'm going to try again. You wanna' stop me? Over my dead chickens. :)

Life's like Nano-Nano candies. It's sweet, sour and salty.

ASEAN School Youth Games, here we come! [Not to play, only helping out. Hope to skip school~ ]

Love you peeps, a lot. ;)

-CHIcken WINGs-

Please, don't regret later on.

2010-07-08T19:08:00.003+08:00

When you see someone you think you'll love, go and take the chance to say "Will you be mine?

Don't regret later on.

Don't be like me. :(

=CHIcken WINGs=

Aww. :)

2010-07-04T00:12:00.004+08:00

Has been a pretty hectic week I must say. SMK Jinjang had its open day today. Helped to mod up classroom. Wahoo, it's much more conducive now. REALLY!

Made a new friend via Facebook. Well, we knew each other, but only got to REALLY know each other after a few weeks. Weird much. But that person is nice. :)

Life's pretty much normal for me. I hate normal-ness, the world knows that. It really gives life the very much hated "YEARGH" factor. Radio hasn't been playing good, catchy songs. TV's a literally becoming an idiot box, filled with programmes fit for idiots. Handphone? Nobody has been replying my messages. Am I such a bore? Pfft. Whatever.

Woo, I've got some artsy assignments to complete and I hope it's going to be flattering and mind-blowing! :D Pre-Uni Council shirt to design, and now waiting for TOUCH 2010 theme to be decided and set, so I can get my hands working.

Mum bought a new Canon Pixma, since the old Epson betrayed its duty to deliver pixel-perfect prints. I LOVE THE PIXMA! Awesome printing speed. And. Awesome! Hope it performs up to its brand reputation, for the many years to come. LALALALA!

Aww, I miss you. Just a little shy.

...of these three, love is the greatest.

Whatever God says, is so totally true.

Peaces out now.

LOVES

=CHIcken WINGs=

WHEE.

2010-06-27T00:59:00.002+08:00

Ultraman Dance. Rocked. :D

The mass Ultraman Dance was even more fun. :D

Totally loved that experience. :D

I don't dance too often. So that was totally awesome I'd say. :D

Ah.

We are getting old.

It's high time I made something useful and beneficial out of my youth.

I'm not happy, nor I'm sad. I'm just... Not in the mood to portray any emotions. But I do have only one current emotion now. A longing for someone to [Love]. :)

Yes. One more try. :)

Realised that my blog has a slight increase in the number of followers. :D Thanks peeps, you keep my blog going. :D

Need to change and tweak the music box a little. Music moves fast nowadays. Anybody for more We Are The Fallen music?

I'm so totally annoying my blog readers with "I'm in love" statements and not telling them who the hell I like. HAHA! Sad to say, it's going to happen in this post too. :) Until I'm really with *AHEM*, and only then I shall reveal the mysterious and elusive secrets. :D

WHATEVER~ ^o^

=CHIcken WINGs=

I'm blogging. PFFT.

2010-06-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

HOO. Finally getting in synch with the pace of Form 6. Starting was rather bumpy and messy. Well, don't blame me. Had a break since SPM was over right up until the month of June. All my biological clock programming gone haywire, my back problem and my re-noob-ified Maths skills isn't really helping much. Lalalalaa~ What to do? Only can laugh and chuckle my problems away. Oh, with God's help, too.

This week in school was rather fun! *grins from ear to ear* Except the occasion when I was stopped by a bunch of "oh-so-lalafied" prefects that do not know how to define "manners" and "courtesy" at all.

"OI! [note the word OI] BERATUR DALAM SATU BARISAN!"

For Pete's sake, you *AHEM!* could have said it in a much nicer tone. 'Cause not all the people you *AHEM!* called out are in the wrong. You can't blame new students for not having name tags. Didn't anybody taught you that? :D Ish, if you *AHEM!* had respected the students, they would have give you the same win-win respect. What's there to lose anyway? *sighs oh-so loudly*

Whoo! Got back my moolah that Mum borrowed. :D Mum had too much pound and francs but no ringgit, so had to play loan shark a few times. ;) Now then, it's time for total enjoyment now that moolah is in my wallet! :D SMK Kepong Baru carnival, anyone?

Next month, I have one more shot at *AHEM!*. ;D 24th July. Here. I. Come. One more shot I say!

*HUGS*

=CHIcken WINGs=

Inseperable me :O

2010-06-19T00:03:00.002+08:00

Holidays are killing me. Its like a vulture swirling around in the sky, staring at you with its mocking eyes, waiting to devour you once your life wastes away. It swoops down, stops. Slowly advances to you and... GASH! Tears your flesh, a strip at a time! WOAH! *runs away*

Maths questions aren't really helping me destress either. Totally WTH moment, really. And Eureka moments around midnight-morning doesn't really help at all. Pfft. Thank God for the holidays! :)

Have been thinking about my future profession, too. Its really driving me nuts and bolts. Where's that spanner. Sighs. I totally wanna' live my childhood dream of becoming a doctor. I don't even mind at all having BSc in Chemistry. At the same time I do totally love arts.

Performing arts, visual arts, architecture, fashion design, business and marketing, hospitality and tourism, mass communication. Like, HECK! What do I do? I'm currently in Science stream in Form 6, loving it. Loving my friends. But then again. *rolls eyes and thinks deeply*

Moving on. I'm not losing that chance again! Going for it! :D You wait and see! *squeals and jumps*

For now, FML partially. :)

=CHIcken WINGs=

P.S: I wanna' watch Chinese opera! Anybody knows where I can't watch one?

Crappy much

2010-06-16T00:16:00.002+08:00

Feeling very crappy right now. CPU fried. Have to depend on Mum's laptop to go online and all. Sighs. All my research are now going to be done manually, by hand. Gosh, all the writing.

Holidays are such a bore. I like school. I miss the noise and lessons in school.

But most of all... *sighs*

Nevermind.

Its as if nothing really matters to anybody at all.

Where has all the love in the world gone to anyway?

=CHIcken WINGs=

Of sour grapes and sweet wine.

2010-06-11T23:50:00.002+08:00

In life, we tend to get sour grapes now and then. Yes, sometimes it sucks to the max! But little do people know that the sour grapes can be turned into sweet wine, provided that its made using the correct methods.

Sour grapes. I failed to get that coveted JPA Scholarship, even after appealing for it. It doesn't really matter to me anymore, whether they are setting quotas for race, meritocracy or anything. I'm no longer bothered. God has set His plans for me. So what if I fail this? There's many more to come. :) And I'm accepting this fact with a rather open heart. Am thankful because God has given me supportive friends. Ben's mum, Aunty Lydia, even called me up to encourage me. And no, this is not the last of me you'll hear.

Going to continue Form 6. I really hope to obtain at least a 3.9+ CGPA, and also at least a Band 5 for MUET. Mum will definitely be not so happy if I do not even get a Band 5. :P Whatever happens next, God will decide. I'll just dance to His tunes. :D

Sweet wine. Even after being rejected, I reflected and I see what blessings I have currently, and even before I applied for this scholarship. I still have friends. I still have my family.

When I transferred to SMK Jinjang, I was rather worried that I would bring the same karma I had while I was temporarily in MBSSKL. I was worried that I wouldn't have friends. Heck, when I went there, they asked me for my Facebook account the first day I was there! And man, they laugh non-stop. :D Awesome blessing #1.

And looking back for the past 18 years, God has blessed my family TREMENDOUSLY. Literally. Somehow, finance isn't much of a problem in my family. He has always been there to provide. And He has so much money that He can by anytime cause an inflation in the world economy. Talk about too much cashflow but too little products! :D

Blessing #3. Well this ain't a blessing, but I'm so wanting to fall in love right now. Knowing the fact that the person I so like might never ever like me, but being able to feel and share love is something tad wonderful! =) Nevermind rejection. Its just the need to share love. *rolls eyes and smiles*

OOO! I love this song!

Loves

|CHIcken WINGs|

Lovesick birdbrain.

2010-06-10T18:04:00.002+08:00

Lovesick. Title says it all. Pfft. Confession time? It'd take me mountains and ridges to confess. This ain't no easy matter. It's darn complicated. Love sickness turning me into a birdbrain, literally. :O Oh well. *smiles* It doesn't change anything.

Playing chef is so not fun. With mum away for a few days, the task of cooking falls on me. ZOMG. Pity my guinea pigs. They have no choice but to chow down whatever that I've made. Haha! Yes, my siblings and Dad. Sad case for them-lah. Apalah yang boleh dilakukan?

OWH. Friends not replying me most of the time. Are they just too busy or what? At least reply once-lah... T^T Ke berlakon busy? *tsk tsk tsk*

=CHIcken WINGs=

We Are The Fallen- St. John

2010-06-08T11:10:00.001+08:00

Awesome song. Perfect expression of a insane mind. :D

This night is alive with the smell of insane
It's reaching for me and it's calling my name
I beg for silence to drown out their weep
How did this asylum become where I sleep

So ashamed of waking
All my life you failed to keep me safe
My whole world's forsaken
Won't let you destroy my faith again

All my questions get no answers
Locked up tight from the world outside me
NO, NO
Mommy come get me out tonight
All my questions have no answers
I can feel the fear inside me
NO, NO
Mommy come get me out tonight

So close I almost could taste my own grave
My moment of selfishness caused by your pain
Almost threw this life you gave me away
In this institution for you now I pray

So ashamed of waking
All my life you failed to keep me safe
My whole world's forsaken
Won't let you destroy my faith again

All my questions get no answers
Locked up tight from the world outside me
NO, NO
Mommy come get me out tonight

All my questions have no answers
I can feel the fear inside me
NO, NO
Mommy come get me out tonight

Forgive me
With wings adorn me
So I can fly

All my questions get no answers
Locked up tight from the world outside me
NO, NO
Mommy come get me out tonight
All my questions have no answer
I can feel the fear inside me
Mommy come get me out tonight

=CHIcken WINGs=

Phew. Some breathing space at last!

2010-06-05T11:03:00.002+08:00

Many students seem to be paying their attention to the teacher in class.

TEACHER: Okay class, the homework for today are exercises......

And yes, happens during every lesson in class. Phew. Finally a little rest time. Homework has been piling up like crazy! Thanks to the holidays, I now have a little wee bit of chill time. Hmph. I wonder what happened to all my stamina. I get tired easily now and then. Am wondering how I survived Form 5...

There's an annoying compulsion for me to be the best in the class, like always. ISH. Apalah yang boleh dikatakan? Studying Form 6 is like studying at a whole new level. FUH! Youth Service later. Cool. Like so the time to chill and let my hair down [ironically, I don't have much of them].

And in every post, I seem to blast out the fact that I'm in love. *shrugs* Nah, more lovesick than in love. I'd put this as "cinta tidak berbalas".

NYAH.

Anybody keen to go out with yours truly this school break? I can't be staying home 24/7, waiting for mould and moss to proliferate on me. :D

Fuhfuhfuh! Anyways... G'day people!

♥s you!

Wohohoho!

=CHIcken WINGs=

Shh! It's a secret.

A little less emotions, a little more brains.

2010-05-30T00:20:00.002+08:00

It's funny how emotions can cloud the most rational of the minds. Sometimes I wished I had a little less emotion, and a whole lot more brains. It sucks when I let my emotions rule over my heart, and not my brain over my heart. Worse to come, occasionally my emotions go overboard and I end up like a volcano, spewing deadly lava and ebony-black ashes that kills relationships with close ones. Sad to say, I'm a rather emotional person, though I tend to hide the softer side of me. And yes, I'm a very soft-hearted person. I hate people talking loudly to me. I hate people betraying my trust [yes, even in terms of TIME PUNCTUALITY]. I hate a load more of other stuffs that in the end, makes me such a softie. Having to turn your personality 180-degrees to suit the people around you is somewhat ridiculous. I do believe that God made us the way He wanted us to be created. There's no point stuffing yourself into a mould that doesn't fit the pattern you were created to be. It is tough having to pretend to be the tough one, when deep inside, YOU know that YOU are not that kind of person. I love it when people say nice things, even if it's just a SINCERE "Good morning", and even a hug can brighten up the dullest of my days. But it seems that the world has grown into a place where love doesn't hold strong anymore.

The modern-day love, as to my point of view, is a disguised form of MATERIALISM. Yes. Whatever the heck I'm saying. Isn't it time to cut the crap on material things, and keep ones that can last a lifetime- relationships? Cherish the people close to you. Love them everyday, as if you were going to leave this place tomorrow. It's definitely hard to do this. I'm having trouble doing this. And I'm having trouble sensing the love people shower on me. Shucks. Padlock this thought in your heart. As God is loving, He still wields a rod in order for us to grow up strong. He may take away someone whom you take for granted, and forever you will regret for never ever taking a moment to cherish the person.

No, I'm not dying. I'm just emo. ;(

Love heals [God's love], love sometimes kill [human love].

=CHIcken WINGs=

It's all in God's blueprint. :)

2010-05-27T22:41:00.002+08:00

Have been attending Form 6 classes in SMK Jinjang for almost a week already. I thought I was going to be all lonely there. However... I WAS WRONG! I am thankful that the people there are so friendly and mad! :) Am grateful. I believe God keeps open doors and help wherever I go. And this bunch of friendly people is just the beginning. I believe there are more powerful things that are going to happen. This is JUST the beginning.

I AM a little sad. Again the plain ol' emo reason. Pfft. Attended an art exhibition at KLCC and it was awesome! Who knew art exhibitions can be so eye-opening. I want my artworks to be in galleries ALL AROUND THE WORLD one day.

Totally love my growing circle of friends, but not so much of the scope of my Form 6 studies. TOUGH ARGH.

Love you leh... But aiyo, paiseh dao. X)

=CHIcken WINGs=

Untitled #5

2010-05-22T17:21:00.002+08:00

Having mild depression right now. Yesh. I failed to get that coveted JPA scholarship. Hmph. After all the running around. Well, maybe it's fated by God that I don't get it. I'm all okay, maybe He has greater plans in store for me. Still, it's human nature to feel disappointed. I do wish I have friends around to cheer me up, or at least I can get over it with their presence around. =/

Sad to say, I can't always depend on friends alone. *sighs* And now that I'm in Form 6 in MBSSKL temporarily, I don't think I'm blending in well enough with the people there. Is it me, or is it something wrong with them?

Have been feeling a little shitty these few days. It's as if many things I do are wrong. WRONG. It feels like I'm never right. I'm still happy that I have my God-granted talents in me that I can utilise to make me feel less sad and emo. He truly gives everybody talents, and that we may find peace and solace in His gifts to us.

Eye bags getting bigger. More whiteheads and pimples. What else? Urgh. Back to school. FML.

God bless ya' people! Nyeh.

*HUGS*

=CHIcken WINGs=

Rough week I'd say.

2010-05-15T22:19:00.002+08:00

Was a rather hard week to survive through I'd say. Going to MBSSKL for a week already. Trip to the school and back is expensive. Long travelling time [an hour to school...]. Having to buy new sets of uniform isn't really helping me a lot.

And Mum's also not in very good mood this week. She's not feeling well. So, she gets a little to worked up sometimes. Doesn't help me improve situations, too.

Money also running low because of the trip to school and back. [RM 4.40 a day, RM 22 a week]. Heck, my Dad works in Kota Kemuning and he doesn't even have to pay any toll!

Joash and May leaving church and TOUCH soon, too. Hey, if both of you are reading this, you absence will be felt once you guys leave. I'm sad that you both are leaving. Sure, people would say there's MSN and Facebook, but what's better than the real deal? But, it's all God's plan, and I'm sure He has reasons for the both of you to be with the Kota Kemuning Christians. And surely His goodness will overtake you wherever the both of you guys are going. Remember to come back and visit, though.

And I'm typing this blog on a rather empty stomach [I'm more blessed than refugees and poor African nations, though.]. Skipped dinner 'cause Mum thought I wouldn't be home for dinner. Damn my phone credit for expiring so early.

Had

.............................. :(

But I'm thankful that He made sure that I was well and safe all the time. He is my awesome provider and Friend. And I'm sure all things will turn out for the good in His name.

And truly it's by Him that I can hang on until this day.

Say something, don't leave me hanging. =/

=CHIcken WINGs=

Turning point at dy/dx=0.

2010-05-12T20:39:00.002+08:00

Some stoopid sh*t title there. Turning point of my thoughts about MBSSKL. Initially, it wasn't so good, but now I think I'm liking that school. Well, anything-la. ;) Am quite happy, at least there's friends that follow me there and back, and the trip isn't so boring when going and coming back. But it's tad expensive though.

OMG, We Are The Fallen's album Tear The World Down is out now! Their songs are so awesome! It will take years for the band to reach the Evanescence standard again, but it's still pretty nice for a new band. Number 11 most downloaded album on iTunes since 7 days after it's debut.

I'm a little afraid because I lagging behind most of my counterparts in studies. Need to play catch up. Hate it. But I'm so going to prove to myself that I can do better than them. IT'S JUST FORM 6! RAWR! And while waiting for JPA results to be out, I do have to take that kind of a drastic step to chase, chase and chase my studies! WOAH! OKAY, I'm blabbering sh*t, again.

;) Short post of my week. Chat with me, will you? *winks*

=CHIcken WINGs=

I'm feeling over-the-top.

2010-05-06T22:38:00.002+08:00

Urgh. I don't have to repeat the title do I? Perhaps I'm tired and a little lovesick here. Urgh, I'm wondering why is it that so many people are getting lovesick today. Like, SERIOUSLY. It makes me a little emo. You guys are bad, bad kids for making me feel the way you guys feel too. HAHA! Whatever. Have to get busy to sweep these emo-ness off the cliff. :)

I don't know if I said this before, but I think I know who my "realler" friends are. :D You know who you guys are. No names nanti some other friends feel biased. XP But YEAH! You guys are great. I don't know why. Don't ask me. ;)

Check out Voodoo by Adam Lambert. I LIKEY!

Moon shine on the bayou
Love shrine break the taboo
I wanna know what's in your potion
Bound by total devotion

I was lookin' for love all over
You're the hunter and I'm your prey
Now I'm lost in a lover hangover
I try to leave but I have to stay

'Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell)
'Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell)

Swamp sings over the bazaar
Snake bites aligning stars
I'm in rapture there is no cure
No sanctuary from your allure

I was lookin' for love all over
You're the hunter and I'm your prey
Now I'm lost in a love hangover
I try to leave but I have to stay

'Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell)
'Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell)

'Cause the voodoo you do
Is all that can do
To make me into your fool
'Cause when you do voodoo
I'm just like a doll
That pins keep pushing into

So every time I try to break this trance
I'm almost afraid I'll miss my chance
To be bewitched by the bayou
I just gotta say I want your hex
I don't want to live without your hex
I'm so obsessed with your sexiness

Yeah...

'Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell)
'Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell)
'Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell)
'Cause it's voodoo voodoo voodoo (under your spell)
(So obsessed with your sexiness)

And no, I'm not obsessed with anybody's sexiness. HAHAHAA!

=CHIcken WINGs=

Untitled #4

2010-05-03T23:13:00.005+08:00

Urgh. I'm starting to feel the pain of my wisdom grazing against the inner walls of my cheek. Bzzz. I feel like getting a pair of pliers and ripping it off my gums [talk about epic pain here...]. It has been causing me tonnes of annoyance these few days. I can't even open my mouth properly, and without pain. *roars* Let alone eating. Caused me tonnes of trouble eating. T^T Noodles for me. Nothing else. =/

Got offered to enter Form 6 under Methodist Boys' School in KL. It's a double-edged sword here for me. Pros, that school is well-equipped with facilities and teaching equipment. Cons, it'd freaking far from my house, plus the mad city-crawl in the morning, you wouldn't reach school if you were late. I'm hoping for all the love of God in the world to make me end up under a scholarship. I don't want to go to Form 6 by any means possible. =/ But if it's God's will, so be it! :D

Yes. Have been emo these past few days again. WTH man. Must have been the wisdom tooth playing catalyst to breakdown my emotions. *sighs* Swayed all around by my emotions. Same old problem from my recent posts. ZZzzZZ Wished "you" were reading this now. :D

Hmm, that aside. Do you know how awesome Lee McQueen is in design?! OMGX. His designs will make you drool! Like, DROOL! Take a look at a few of his designs here. He's bloody talented I tell you. Sad to say he's now a few feet under. =(

Isn't this like the clutch of your dreams? :D

He's even done a collabo with Puma to produce a mini-range designed by him. ;)

Does this remind you of Evanescence?

And this reminds me of Saphira from Eragon.

When will Malaysia reach this type of avant-garde/high-fashion status? Will make Malaysia an economic-cum-culture powerhouse if it does. Investment on creativity article appeared in the newspapers a few days ago. Is this field included? :D Time to take the risk I say.

Loves.

=CHIcken WINGs=

I hate flashbacks. They make me emo.

2010-04-29T23:27:00.003+08:00

Yes. Hate reminiscing on the past. You just can't help it, especially when you're going to relax and all of a sudden all these random memories, both good and bad, start pouring in.

Totally miss the days when school was still on. Like I miss my friends tonnes... It's even harder to contact them now. On MSN, most of the time they're "Away". Sending SMS won't do much either. Some of them reply days after a message was sent, or they might even forget to reply. I only keep in touch with a handful of them. Buddies, if you're reading this, know that I miss you guys a lot[You know who you guys are :D]... If this means anything to you at all.

Ah, I know I can't be caught up in this kind of nonsense all the time. Whatever the shit that means. Well, did well for my Ujian Teori Berkomputer for my L driving license. 44/50. Nearly failed. Eff.

Many close buddies of mine, and those who keep track of my blog know that I'm so wanting to express my feelings to my crush. ZOMG. How do I put this? No I don't have a crush, I have crushes. Bloody "rambang mata", right? See, I'm not greedy... It's just the matter of who really cares for me. *sighs* But then, I have to wait. God will decide what's best for me.

But then. I ♥ you all. [EEWW, that sounds gross coming from me.]. And heck, I don't care if people say I'm bi. :D

Hoping to shit Faberge eggs when I'm asleep tonight.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Routine life? Sorry, am not a big fan of it.

2010-04-25T00:45:00.003+08:00

ZOMG. I was still asleep when Brian came to pick me up for Youth Service. "Chi Wing, I'm here already". I stoned a while [a few microsecs to be exact] before I rushed to change my clothes.

Youth Service was OK today, was a little eye-opening, and also rather encouraging to me. I need some encouragement right now. *sighs* But am happy that God is always watching. Yes. To bad, my God is a stalker. It's good, sometimes. :D Yeah, and He's always there when you need Him. :D

Went to KLC for dinner. And after we ate up our meals, fellowshipped [if there's such word... Mozilla underlined that word as a typo]... Sabrina asked us [Brian, Anndrea, Jean and I] of how we jog our brains, 'cause she has difficulty trying to get her mind working hard. College life made her think too much "in the box" instead of "out of the box". Eff colleges which limit creativity. Theories, theories and MORE theories. To me, I wouldn't want to get into a routine like that. Study, work, retire, get old, and then get 6 feet under. NO! NO ROUTINES! I want to go 6 feet under in style. I don't want to die regretting my past!

Ha, nowadays, people get locked in a set of rules, or what we call the "norm of the society," as the say. I say... BULLSHIT! Humans are made to follow rules, and it's true. But humans are not made to be like dogs. Sometimes, it takes a hard hit to realise that you've been living a dog's life for a hell long time. Don't wait for it to happen, 'cause it will be too late, most of the time. Life, to me, is complete and fulfilling if you lived it "out of the box" everyday. Doing mad stuffs. Loving yourself and God. Embracing your identity in God and in the world. Loving people. Caring for people. Heck, if I don't get to be a doctor or chemical engineer, I'm so going PR or design.

To my peeps out there. Don't wait for something bad to happen to make you realise that you could have lived a more satisfying life when you were younger. Do it now... NOW.

Don't know why I said this... But I think it's because I'm sad to see many people living routine lives... =( No I don't hate you. I love you. But it sucks... See?

[You... Will I ever see you again? =/]

Oh, saw this shoe in Mid Valley and I so want it! Tell me your opinions! BTW, the red part is a-la hair kind of material, while the black part is PVC-ish material weaved into fabric form. PUMA El Rey Pony! :D

Loves ♥

Till the next post.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Bugger.

2010-04-23T23:59:00.002+08:00

Stop shaking your legs! It's so annoying!
Stop answering your calls as if your grandma is going to give birth the next jiffy that comes!

Those were the thoughts that jogged through my mind back and forth like an annoying drunk fly that keeps turning around your head.

Those monkeys can't stop bugging other people in class. Whatever. And YES, that compulsory KPP class really educated us about being PATIENT, especially with soon to be bugger drivers. Pfft.

Watched "When In Rome" yesterday. Was a pretty nice show. It was too short, though. *sighs* I miss the good old times. I dislike growing up. It feels like time pasts too fast now. Time, oh Time, why do you have to treat me this way. Can you not mess with Age?

I feel like I really need someone to love, and likewise somebody to love me back. Desperation? Likely.

Nothing much to say for this post, except that I saw a super-awesome shoe in Mid Valley, and I so want to get it. *sighs*

+CHIcken WINGs+

Sometimes I'm emo. Understatement of the year.

2010-04-19T16:55:00.002+08:00

Heck, I'm emo most of the time. Not worth the adrenaline rushing in my veins and being high for no freaking reason all the time. FML. Yesterday's class was a success, at least from my perspective. You know why? Because there was a good turn up by my students. And you know why they all turned up. Because they had no choice. HAHA! They should have AGM meetings at least once a month so I can have classes with full attendance [but then it wouldn't be an ANNUAL general meeting anymore, ain't it?]. Whatever. Just come and bring your brains and books along. Don't make me microwave your heads.

BLAH. Was going to bed early yesterday when I realised how lonely I am without few of my close buddies. Most of them are so busy right now. Or so I think. Miss them tonnes, but how often do they think of me? T^T I went to bed rather emo last night. BLAH.

Realised that that taking the first step to approach that special somebody is harder than it looks. I haven't had any problems talking to people, but the thought of talking or even greeting that special somebody just makes my mouth lock itself by some imaginary superpower. Man, I really want to say it, but URGH. I can't. I wished I haven't got any emotions in the first place. T^T

Love you.

And all my peeps.

And readers.

And... snakes?

=CHIcken WINGs=

Back from a short MIA. ;)

2010-04-15T13:29:00.002+08:00

Came back from Universiti Teknologi Petronas EduQuest camp thingie yesterday. Ooof. So tired. Didn't really make too many friends. Not all of them were friendly. Whatever. But then again, friends that I made there were nice people. ;)

Am thankful again for all the birthday wishes that I got from my friends and family members, though I wasn't in KL to reply all your messages XP. But then again, thanks a lot, love you guys a lot. Seriously. ^^ Super thankful too when I knew I got shortlisted for that interview thingie. It seems that 11000+/- people applied for the Petronas sponsorship programme, but only 2100 were shortlisted for the programme. And only 600 will be taken in. *shivers* But God will make a way. ;)

Dropped Josh off at church before coming back home to go online. Finally I can go online after 1 1/2 days. FML. ;D

Loves.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Awesome sh*t. ;)

2010-04-10T00:26:00.003+08:00

It's a WTH moment for me today. Yeah. Totally WTH. I got shortlisted for Petronas' scholarship. Yes, awesome sh*t I tell you. ;D Good stuffs happening to me lately. Am happy it is. Clearly, God is blessing me greatly with all these stuff. It makes me stressed out sometimes, thinking of how to share all these good stuffs to everybody. Sometimes, when you get too much of all these good things, you kinda' go nuts 'cause there's hardly anyone to share it with! Human emotions and all that.

I'm turning a bit ancient next week. Which is not a good sign. It means I'm officially aging, and that puts me in a position where I can die of any sickness in a jiffy. Bah. Whatever. Death is not going to stop me from enjoying my awesome journey. AHA!

Would love to get these weird things for turning a year ancient next week:
@ Leather jacket... PURPLE leather jacket!
@ Orange slacks/pants!
@ White-rimmed aviators!
@ Nokia N97/ E72... Yellow ones, to be more awesome!
@ WhataboutTMNETUNIFI! Fibre optics galore. [Hope it's not all shit like copper wires]
@ Lime green sneakers!
@ White loafers!
@ Yellow iPod!
@ Glow-in-the-dark hair dye, if they even exist...
@ Lava lamp?
@ Earrings! [I haven't got my ears punched... FML =/]
@ Panasonic GF1/ Olympus E-PL1!
@ BOOKS! Currently bored. A-Levels Maths and Chemistry would keep me occupied. ;D
@ Noise-cancelling earphones. [I don't really know why I need those.]
@ A box of cigarettes?
@ Photochromic glasses for my room windows. I hate the glare. ISH.
@ Japan trip? AWESOME.
@ Yellow canvas bag! VOODS!
@ Sony PSP!
@ Nintendo DS Lite!
@ *HALO GLOWING* PS3.... *drools*
@ Technical pens?
@ Compilation of illustrations from top game artists of the world! VOODS!
@ Miley Cyrus' songs to never play on any form of media anymore.

Friggin' long list. PIGASS. ;)

Blah. Peephole, just keep counting on God and awesome stuffs can happen. It's so good that you can't believe it's happening. Shut up and believe me.

=CHIcken WINGs=

"Thank You" list.

2010-04-06T09:07:00.002+08:00

In approximately a week's time, I will be turning 18, literally. Time flies. It's as if I was a baby yesterday, and Mum had less crow's feet and Dad had less railway tracks on his forehead. And now I'm done with secondary school, looking forward to pursuing my dream career as a doctor, if not a chemical engineer. *sighs* I'm getting old. XP

Looking back on my life, it's been a real blessing to be alive. Everything that has happened seem to be already pre-planned by God. Nothing ever fell out of hand, and no trouble was too much of a problem. Even the interview today under the Malaysian Public Services Department, is fated by God to happen. Imagine this. 18840 applications, only 8640 will be sitting for the interview, and only 1500 will be taken in. I'm in the 8640, and hopefully, also in the 1500.

So, what's my "Thank You" list all about? Turning 18 with sweet and sour experiences will not be complete without "thank you"s to the people who have stuck out with me through thick, thin and thinner. ;)
Big thanks to:
1. God, for making all things so perfect. ;)
2. Mum, for being pregnant so painfully with me. Taking care of me when I was down with bronchiolitis. [Mum and Dad diligently woke up every 4 hours to bring me for nebulizer sessions.] ans everything you provided me with.
3. Dad, for working so hard until you have railway tracks down and across your forehead.
4. My cousin sister Maryann, for being such a mad-cap since we were kids. Taking in all my madness, and also haring all your madness. Hell, I love all the madness. All the encouraging words during my "scholarship periods" did help a lot, too.
5. Primary school friend, Anis Zainab, wherever you are, thanks for being such a friendly girl! Always super-friendly and willing to befriend others. ;)
6. Arron, for being my best bud in primary school, and even until now. Love your caring family!
7. Celine Yap, yes you! AHA! I owe you none now~ Thank you post for you! Thanks so much for always listening to my complaints, even when you are super the busy. Loved all the nutty stuff we did together. EH! Bila mau jogging? XP
8. Caleb Ong, for accepting who I am. And also being open to my nuttiness all the time.
9. Becka Raj! YOU! Yes, thanks for being giler so that I have people to giler with. Church will be a bit of a bore if you weren't there.
10. Brian ONG! Super-duper thank you for always sending me to church. Like almost every week now. Really, you don't know how much it means to me.
11. The TOUCH group members, for making the experience of becoming a youth and a Christian awesome.
12. Joash and Joe, for being awesome leaders. I don't know how to say this, but I've seen you guys displaying leader qualities and I've learnt a thing or two down the line.
13. To my awesome teachers, Puan Sa'emah, Puan Thila, Madam Lim, Mr. Ken, Miss Wong and Mr. Sai Mun. You guys are great! "Thank you" is hardly enough to express my gratitude.
14. OMG! Lee Marilyn for also being a nut and menggiler all the time with me! It's fun to be giler with you!
15. Godson Chok Kam, for being such a great kid. Boy, you're awesome. ;)
16. My juniors that I miss so much! Meng Joe, Ah Hong, Shu Nee, Yik Shen, Ernest Lee, Fabian and many more who I can't recall. Study hard OK?
17. All my other friends and family members for helping make me who I am today. ;)

Alrighty. List done. ;) Wishlist! OMG... Whatever.

Loves.

=CHIcken WINGs=

URGH. Phail-case.

2010-04-05T00:16:00.002+08:00

Today was phail-case maximum. Me no likey Easter celebration this year. Did not turn out pretty well for me. URGH. Im'ma throw shit at anybody who annoys me right now. Not just any shit, the kind of shit you get when you have food poisoning. HOWABOUTTHAT?!

URGH. Well, first phail-case was that BM service did not really compiled their songs nicely and hadn't got a clue what songs they're gonna' sing at all. Heck, I've done this lyricking thing for quite a number of years now, but I don't have the song database in my head or anything. Fuh. And when the lyrics are not on screen, it's as if it's my fault that it's not on screen. FUH. And I get weird stares from people. *rolls eyes* Come on, try doing what I do for a day. You wouldn't survive even halfway through the service. [Not that I'm whining or anything].

Second phail-case. Well, Alynna was going to perform second right after the BM Dept has settled with theirs. Well, I got the song last minute. And... The song... *sighs* Wasn't quite the well edited version. Ain't blaming Alynna. Screw websites who edit their friggin' downloads. To hell with them. Back to the topic. Well, when the song came on the speakers via P.A system, it sounded like some freaking DJ talking BEFORE the song actually came on... And somehow in the middle of the song, there's some scratching sound, produced by some damned DJ scratching some plate thing on the DJ booth. Eff it. People were staring at me as if I DID THAT? WHOTHEEFFYOUTHINKYOUARESTARINGATMELIKETHAT?! You guys think I'm not serious with what I'm doing, come and fucking do what I do-lah! *smirks in your face*

Well, I don't care who the eff you are. I don't go around throwing my respect at anybody. You want respect, earn it. And you're not earning mine at all. All I can say is, TRY BEING ME THEN!

At the end of the day, humans suck shit like mad. Only God knows that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I only care about that. Yes. I don't give a damn of what YOU PEOPLE think about me. Yes, you can suck up all the shit now.

Off to clean up the shit people have given me.

"Bloody hell, where's the eff-king bottle of bleach?!"

Loves for those who understood me, even when some dumb-ass humans don't.

=CHIcken WINGs=

P.S: If you expect a humble apology, I'm afraid you're at the wrong site. Please press "Next Blog" tab on top of this page.

Easter

2010-04-03T11:25:00.002+08:00

Easter's play was good. Hopefully it did convey the message well enough. Am quite satisfied, but there's still place for a lot of improvement. *sighs*

Super-duper-the-grateful for everything I have in my life right now. Of course, I do desire for more... But then, having the people I love and care for around me is enough for now.

Interview is next week. I'm going to blow the panel of interviewers' minds to smithereens! No certain hints of "kan-cheong"-ness for now. ^-^

Loves, to God, and the people I love. ;)

=CHIcken WINGs=

OMGawd. I'm drowning in an ocean of blessings.

2010-03-27T23:23:00.004+08:00

Okay. The title implies a lot of things here.

Ocean. Drowning. Two very closely-knit words, as if they were couples for the past few eons. And yes, I'm literally drowning in a sea of blessings. Not that I'm complaining about this, but things are happening at such a horrifyingly quick pace that it's an instant when compared to a blink of an eye.

Rushing seems to be the best thing that I can do for now. But then again, what benefit does it bring at all. *Sighs* I'm starting to feel like I'm turning into an artifact. Ancient and old. Probably it's because my back is killing me. Been having recurring back pain since late Form 4. It hasn't got this bad before. Now, I feel it everyday. It sucks, a lot. And there's nothing much I can do about it.

Ah. Let me cut the crap here. Now on to the blessings. Attended prize-giving ceremony in school, due to good results. My wallet ended up being heavier by RM175. I also got two GSC vouchers to be used! Awesome stuff.

But the awesomest thing is that I'm still alive. Really, nothing can beat the blessing in being alive for so long. Heck, I had near-death experiences three times in my life. Beat that. XP I believe God has bigger plans for me. But then again, it annoys me that He makes it so full of suspense. *laughs* Well, that's Him alright. =)

Readers, I wish that you will be blessed abundantly this week. Okay, maybe not this week alone. What about the whole month then? *Does the "Whatever~" hand-gesture*

Loves.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Experiences @ HKL.

2010-03-23T23:32:00.002+08:00

Yes, I just got back from Hospital Kuala Lumpur from the Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Sebagai Seorang Doktor. Have been in the hospital for the past 2 days. Approximately. It has been quite a good experience I must say. I met nice people, cocky people, and people with bullet-proof glasses. You get what I mean. All fancies of people. XP

Day 1:
I was at the hospital at 6.20 a.m in the morning. WTH an 18-year old would be doing in the not-so-wee hours in the morning, heck, in a hospital?! Yeah, the Polis Bantuan gave me queer looks. They must be asking "What the eff is this nutcase with a yellow bag doing here in the morning?". I'm too soaked in my own fantasies that I can't give a damn of what they think about me, what more about the people who are going to WTF over my appearance.

It was sad to see NONE of anybody whom I know there. Yes. I was like, *tuut, bored here!*. So there's this Indian girl who came in around 8.20 a.m? Lisa is her name. Yeah, we became impromptu friends then. And I met her friend, Jeremie and another early bird too, Jia Xin. Yeah, and later on we had to break into several groups.

WTF. We got a boring tour, just on the first day of this programme. *laughs* Someone has to suck up the shit, like it or not. XP Orthopedics. Nothing much to see. Just bones, and skeletal related matters. Amputations and the likes of it.

And moving on later, we went to look at the General Surgery department. No, no live surgeries. Only a lecture. Vascular surgeon if I'm not pretty much mistaken. BAI to the hospital after that.

The journey home was awfully fun. Literally. Awful part first. I walked from GH/ HKL all the way down to Jalan TAR. Yes. I was dumb. XP It's my first time here as a student, and ALONE. And I take U11 which takes me back to my house no problem. OK... But then I realise he's going the opposite direction of the way I'm supposed to be following... T-T So, I ended up paying RM1 + RM2 for "passing" to stops. WTF. It's still anytime better than taking the taxi though. Nice part. I never get to view the traffic and sights of KL that often. So, as I walked, I looked at people and all the cartoon stunts that they're trying to imitate. Was fun. Improvised form of fun, so to speak.

Day 2 [Today]:
Today arr... Ermm... Today go to O & G lo. Obstetrics and Gynaecology. Nope, no delivery of babies too. Sad. Nothing much there really. Forensics? Yeah, we only got to see a body getting sanitized. That's all. =.=||| The other groups got to see the post-mortem in action, WTF?! Sighs.

And last session was at the Outpatient Dept. Not really hectic too. What I saw? I saw a head nurse cleaning up a small wound of a diabetic patient. Area of wound roughly 1.5cm X 4cm. Depth of wound approximately 3cm at the deepest point. I was like, "Ugh" not because it gross, but it's because it feels pain. XP

What I really disliked about this programme has got nothing to do with the programme at all, but I really disliked the people that came. How do I put this? HEH. I had thought that A-class students are going to be, from the point of aptitude, be good. PFFT. My foot to that statement now. Some of them, so cocky their heads can't see the ground. Some of them HAVE to talk while the nurses and doctors are briefing. What bitches are they. [No holds barred to that statement. Smart students SHOULD be street-smart too, not book-smart] I mean, coming in as a potential JPA scholar, what is that kind of attitude man? Some reflection please. Yeah. And some of those nuts have to see more "colour-blind" and weirdos like me. Haven't seen a guy with varnished nails and a yellow bag before? Sad for you, you haven't seen the world. Can't handle me? How then, can you handle a whining patient? I KASIHAN BAGI PIHAK YOU. And yeah, for those who are down-to-earth, do expect to see stuck-up students when you join this programme. I was not expecting to see so many pain-in-the-necks, but I stand to my weird styles and principles. Can't handle me? Go get LD50.

Stuffed.

LOVES.

*Aww man, why'd you have to be taken? XP*

=CHIcken WINGs=

And the best thing that happened today? I got two vouchers to GSC for free! XP

LD50-ed for now.

Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Sebagai Doktor- From the eyes and ears of a soon-to-be-hopefully-scholar

2010-03-23T18:16:00.005+08:00

I have not blogged in a long time, considering the fact that I call myself a blogger. Yeah, whatever. Haha. Got shortlisted for this programme. [If you're reading this because if you're a hopeful to get this, read on. If you're hoping to hear me rant, wait for the next post. Back-to-back post, no worries] This programme, basically, is to show the soon-to-be-scholars the work and the responsibilities of becoming a doctor. The job of a doctor is indeed a noble job, but it's not as easy as many think it is.

Blah #1:
The life of a doctor is tough. TOUGH. Not simple. But plainly speaking, if you're in for it, because of passion and your aspiration and perspiration and BLA, BLA, BLA, so why not go for it. It's about the experience. Housemanship is tough, too. For the duration of the two years, you'll be spanked, whacked and scolded, not literally. But later on, after housemanship, you'll be much better. Less stress and all. During housemanship, it's all about "spare the rod, spoil the child."

Blah #2:
You are expected to be very ready to sacrifice whatever you may have on you. Don't expect to go home on time, although there is a set working time. You may have to stay back to tend to the patients' needs or to finish up your work for the next day so you'll avoid getting sound left, right, centre and all crevices of your body. Accuracy and punctuality is everything.

Blah #3:
Becoming a doctor is ALL ABOUT SERVICE. Literally. Nothing comes first except your patients. Yes. That's the naked truth. I didn't say it in a somber, dark tone. It's a serious, determined voice. Yes.

Blah #4:

[OKAY, I continued with this like 4 hours later because I lost my train of thoughts. Damn to hell short-term memory problems]

Heck, there's nothing much left to say. But generally, as an aspiring doctor, never let anything drive your will to study medicine unless it's own your own freewill and desire. Heck, never let anybody hold YOUR future. Do what you love to do. What I think about this programme and all? It's a good thing, but in a way it's too short to really see the stress and pressure working as a doctor. My experiences? See the following blogpost, alrighty? XP

Peace out.

Loves.

=CHIcken WINGs=

Untitled #3

2010-03-17T21:57:00.003+08:00

EMOU I TELL YOU.

EMOU.

Stuck at home and not being able to go out to work, nor go online in the morning. It's killing me. I'm so liking someone now, but not in a very ready position to go tackle that special somebody. Sad. Being able to see that person but not being able to say "it" is very hard. SUPER HARD. T-T

And... *sigh* Some friends only bug me when they need something. Not all of them-laaa. I still love and care for my buddies. But then, most of them aren't there for me when I need them. Most of my SMS-es are rejected. Sad case humans.

I did some drawing and sketching. Cheered me up a little. Ha, let me tell you this, if you don't wanna' layan me, my pencil box, sketchbook, A4 papers and God will cheer me up. Don't super-perasan. *bleks*

HMM. Call or don't call? I'm lazy you know?

+CHIcken WINGs+

Castle Age on facebook is fun. Random statement.

OOO. Sothefreakingfrustratinglahalltheseformsyoucantevenfilloneupwithoutahiccupish.

2010-03-15T14:11:00.002+08:00

So yeah. Results for SPM was announced like 5 days ago. Getting good results doesn't mean the hassle and rush stops there. Now, with all the scholarships open for registration, OMG the rush to photostat, certifying documents and sending application is just mad.

PLAIN MADNESS I TELL YOU!

But am really thankful, really to all those who prayed for me, even some that I might not know that were doing so. So, I want to say a biggie' thanks to you guys. But my utmost feelings of appreciation goes to God. He knows what I desire, and He doesn't hold His blessings back, not even a bit.

FUH. The simplest scholarship to apply so far is the JPA Scholarship, and hopefully I will get it *shivers* Shell and Petronas scholarships are rather troublesome to apply. ISH. But I'mma call them up and bug the phone operators. I'm so getting panicky if I can't get my application through... T-T

Nevertheless, life must go on. Promote promote! Brothers' and Sisters' Day coming real soon. FUH. Publicity is kind of fun! But... Hmm... I'm still unsure. Blah. And the next tutoring session is coming up in two weeks, so whoever friends that are attending, come early-laaa. Joanna requested for an Additional Maths tutoring session... Sad. How to cram together so many sessions? T-T

Advice to my younger peeps, try hard. And don't hope for good things to fall on you. X) Yang pipih tidak datang melayang, yang bulat tidak datang bergolek. =P

=CHIcken WINGs=

EPIC YES!

2010-03-13T22:37:00.002+08:00

Today's class was a small success. Hoping for more turnouts soon. But then again... More turnouts equates to higher pressure. Hmm. It's okay, nothing too hard. ;D

Turnout was OK. 2 persons. It's rather OK for me, as I'm just considered a rookie teacher. But I love it~ XP

Am a little busy right now. Applying for scholarships. Waiting for the promo video for Brothers' and Sisters' Day plan to be okayed so we can start making it [hope it works though]. Working. Hmm. So far so good. Hoping scholarships can be approved. MWAHAHA! All in God's dear hands.

Hoping on God alone.

Aww man, now I'm kinda' missing you again.
XP

WTV.

=CHIcken WINGs=

YES! Good riddance sleepless nights, hello sweet dreams.

2010-03-11T23:53:00.003+08:00

YES!

I made it.

Again?

=.=

Nah.

STRAIGHTS! To be honest, I'm more relieved than I'm happy. I did not expect to do so well this time, especially in the Biology and Malay Language paper. But praise be to GOD! I did well.

Bahasa Melayu [A]
Bahasa Inggeris [A+]
Mathematics [A+]
Additional Mathematics [A+]
Sejarah [A+]
Pendidikan Moral [A-]
Biology [A-]
Chemistry [A+]
Physics [A+]
English for Science and Technology [A+]

Yesh, God is that marvelous. Been acing government-based exam from UPSR up until SPM. What other plans He has for me? I don't know. But I'm sure it's gonna' be a fun one, I'm sure. Congrats to my buddies too. Whether you did well, or you did not, it still doesn't change how your friends love you. It's the same always and forever. ;D

Loves.

Joon, where are you?

=CHIcken WINGs=

Fuh..fuh...fuh....! FOUND IT! [JPA info]

2010-03-10T18:14:00.002+08:00

It's so hard to find these kind of crap, especially when they don't really show it in all the public newspapers. These are the important details that you need to note when you are going to apply for Public Services Department scholarships.

General terms and regulations: [translated from the e-sila webpage, pardon my errors]
1. Malaysian citizen [D'oh!]
2. Not exceeding 18 years in age [19 years old for those who were in remove classes before] by the 31st December 2009. [What for? Aren't those who are in remove classes before 18 years in age by the 31st December 2009??]
3. Possessing good health and not suffering from chronic diseases such as hepatitis, Acquired Immunodeficiency Disease [AIDS], etc.

Courses:
Medicine [United Kingdom, India, Ireland, New Zealand, Russia, Poland and Czech Republic]
Dentistry [Australia, India, Ireland, New Zealand, United Kingdom]
Pharmacy [Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom]

AT LEAST an A- in the 9 of the following subjects:
1. Malay Language
2. History Studies
3. Islamic Studies, As-Sunnah and Al-Quran Studies, Syariah Laws Studies OR Moral Studies
4. Physics
5. Chemistry
6. Biology
7. Mathematics [Modern Mathematics]
8. Additional Mathematics
9. English Language

Veterinary Medical Science [Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom, Canada]

AT LEAST an A- in 9 of the following subjects:
1. Malay Language
2. History Studies
3. Islamic Studies, As-Sunnah and Al-Quran Studies, Syariah Laws Studies OR Moral Studies
4. Physics
5. Chemistry
6. Biology
7. Mathematics [Modern Mathematics]/ Additional Mathematics
8. English Language
AND at least an A- in any other subject.

Agricultural Science [United States of America, Australia]

AT LEAST an A- in 6 of the following subjects:
1. Malay Language
2. History Studies
3. Islamic Studies, As-Sunnah and Al-Quran Studies, Syariah Laws Studies OR Moral Studies
4. Biology/ Science/ Additional Science
5. Mathematics/ Addiotional Mathematics
6. English Language
AND at least an A- in the following subjects:
7. Physics/ Chemistry/ Agricultural Sciences/ Agrotechnology Studies/ Geography/ Economics/ Commerce [Perdagangan]/ Principles of Accountancy

Biotechnology [United States of America, Australia, United Kingdom, Canada]

AT LEAST an A- in 8 of the following subjects:
1. Malay Language
2. History Studies
3. Islamic Studies, As-Sunnah and Al-Quran Studies, Syariah Laws Studies OR Moral Studies
4. Physics/ Chemistry
5. Biology
6. Mathematics
7. Additional Mathematics
8. English Language
AND at least an A- in any other subject.

Engineering [United States of America, Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom,
Canada, Germany, France*]

AT LEAST an A- in 8 of the following subjects:
1. Malay Language
2. History Studies
3. Islamic Studies, As-Sunnah and Al-Quran Studies, Syariah Laws Studies OR Moral Studies
4. Physics
5. Chemistry
6. Mathematics
7. Additional Mathematics
8. English Language/ French *(for those who intend to take their course in France)
9. Biology *(for those who intend to take their course in France)
AND at least an A- in any other subject.

Actuarial Science [United States of America, Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom]

AT LEAST an A- in 8 of the following subjects:
1. Malay Language
2. History Studies
3. Islamic Studies, As-Sunnah and Al-Quran Studies, Syariah Laws Studies OR Moral Studies
4. Additional Mathematics
5. Mathematics
6. English Language
7. Physics/ Science/ Additional Science
8. Chemistry/ Economics/ Commerce/ Principles of Accountancy OR ICT
AND at least an A- in any other subject.

Accountancy [Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom]

AT LEAST an A- in 7 of the following subjects:
1. Malay Language
2. History Studies
3. Islamic Studies, As-Sunnah and Al-Quran Studies, Syariah Laws Studies OR Moral Studies
4. Mathematics
5. Additional Mathematics/ Science/ Additional Science
6. English Language
7. Physics/ Economics/ Commerce/ Entrepreneurship Studies
AND at least an A- in any other subject.

Law [Australia, United Kingdom]

AT LEAST an A- in 5 of the following subjects:
1. Malay Language
2. History Studies
3. Islamic Studies, As-Sunnah and Al-Quran Studies, Syariah Laws Studies OR Moral Studies
4. English Language
5. Mathematics/ Additional Mathematics
AND at least an A- in any other 4 subjects.

Business Administration [United States of America, United Kingdom]

AT LEAST an A- in 6 of the following subjects:
1. Malay Language
2. History Studies
3. Islamic Studies, As-Sunnah and Al-Quran Studies, Syariah Laws Studies OR Moral Studies
4. Additional Mathematics/ Science/ Additional Science
5. English
6. Commerce/ Principles of Accountancy/ Entrepreneurship Studies
AND at least 3 A-'s in the following subjects:
7. Mathematics/ Economics/ Physics/ Chemistry/ English for Science and Technology/ Geography/ ICT [Information and Communication Technology]

There are a few more that I have not translated because it is not relevant to our school students at all. If you want to check it out [it's in Bahasa Malaysia, though], here's the link ^^

http://esilav2.jpa.gov.my/esila_new/piln/doc/syarat/syaratPILN_JPA_MARA_2010.pdf

Good luck for tomorrow guys.

I'm bloody nervous, really.

Loves.

=CHIcken WINGs=

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

2010-03-09T00:23:00.002+08:00

Just came back from watching Alice in Wonderland. The movie? Was OK to boot. Not very much of a hoo-hah as everybody is saying. To me, it was a major setback, because I expected more from Tim Burton. Well, maybe it's just not up to the mark-lah. Well, I loved the graphics in the movie. Was damn awesome. Character designs and concepts are a bloody good masterpiece. What was good is that there are many random moments in this movie that kills the boredom of the movie.

Not for purists I say. But if you are an avid fan of Burton, or love seeing weird and wonderful graphics, this is the movie to see. I'm missing somebody. That's odd. I hadn't felt like that last week and the week before. Sheesh.

Loves.

=CHIcken WINGs=

"OOO, spoon!"